unicron-63008 Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Doesn't deserve the hate, though not the best

[8/10 · 9 July 2023]

I didn't know what to think, walking in to this movie. However, it is definitely an Indiana Jones movies and I had a good time watching it. It has a good underlying plot, has classic Steven Spielberg cinematography and Harrison Ford is a pleasure to watch. It is the least interesting of all Indiana Jones movies, however.

A lot of the "unpleasantness" comes from the side characters, mainly Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Shia LaBoeuf's character had issues in "Crystal Skull", but he was still fun to follow around and had good motivations to join the story.

On the other hand, Phoebe Waller-Bridge's character was, well, an evil person with the only motive of making money... I don't know if they ran out time to explain her character, something about her archeologist father, but she's only ever presented as a bad person until the last 5 minutes of the movie, which was extremely weird. Not only that, but she was generally extremely unpleasant and rude... and she tried to have Indiana Jones killed several times, yet they're friends, for some reason?

As for the "child" character. He straight-up murders somebody... Like, dude! This is a PG-13 movie! You can't have a kid do this... So he's evil too, but presented as a good guy. That character didn't work for me either.

This movie definitely doesn't know how anti-heroes work and Mangold shouldn't have been allowed to write those 2 side-characters the way he did.

Combining the 2 side characters revealed a massive issue that not many are talking about: the fact that the combination came out as the "female white savior" trope... even worse, it gave "grooming" vibes, at times. That dynamic made me extremely uncomfortable. I know they tried to mimic the Indiana Jones/Short Round duo from "The Temple of Doom", but, boy, did they fail!

The ending was poor too. They had a perfect ending for Indiana Jones, when they used the dial, which could've planted seeds for future movies WITHOUT Indiana Jones... But, then, Phoebe's characters steps in and forces in the actual ending which was... Boring? Bland?

It would've been a great idea to leave Indie in the past, because he would've been in position to leave something behind for future adventurers to find. It would've been a great idea, per example, to have people find the "Tomb of Indiana Jones" or for Indiana Jones to have a few more adventures in the background and protect the future by leaving instructions, creating maps or hiding artifacts.

I don't understand why they chose the ending that they did, other than nostalgia, but even then, it was poorly done. In fact, I don't understand why they made Indie's life turn out the way it did, in the first place, after Crystal Skull.

Still, if you can ignore the side characters and weird plot choices, this movie is a fun ride.

Wednesday (2022– )

Lost a star for not playing the song!

[8/10 · 8 January 2023]

Oh, such a great disappointment to get to the last episode and, at no point, did they play the infamous TA-DA-DA-DA! *Snap!* *Snap!*

The show was also greatly missing the franchise's characteristic dark humor. It was also weird that Tim Burton didn't seem to understand that the Addams are the anti-family, where Morticia is the head of the house, Gomez is the stay-at-home dad, he did get that Pugsley and Wednesday deeply care for one another... But, overall, none of the family members felt "Addamsy" enough, not even Thing and Uncle Fester.

The rivalry between Morticia and Wednesday felt completely out of place. It felt like classical teenage rebellion, which is the exact opposite of what should've happened, turning Wednesday into an ordinary Goth Girl, instead of being an Addams.

The same with the Love Triangle. Why is Wednesday falling for 2 regular Chads? That was very weird. They missed a great chance to get out of the Hollywood box with that one. It would make more sense for Wednesday to end up with a character like "Bee Boy" than a regular love interest.

Other than that, the show was great. The story was interesting. The characters were well-written. The love-story between Gomez and Morticia was perfect as it was. The mystery was good, even though you can figure most things out halfway through the season.

I hope they make a second season... Don't forget the song, next time, though!

Rick and Morty (2013– )

I finally get to watch this irreverant festival of weirdness!

[10/10 · 23 November 2022]

After all these years, I finally get to watch "Rick and Morty". The series was really hard to find in my area (thank you, streaming services!), but now it is. I love everything! The canon-stuff, the non-canon stuff, the Lore, the random crap, Rick's insane rants... I binge-watched seasons 1 to 4 (season 5 is next), while watching season 6 as the episodes come out. I don't care what some people say, I just love it!

Unfortunately, I got sucked into the "theorists" part of of the fandom right away, so I'm already pulling my hair out trying to figure what means what. Who is Rick Prime? Does he really not care about Morty, does he have plans for him? Is Rick C-137 lying again? Are we really following C-137 in season 6 or are we watching Evil Morty's character arc? Are some episodes about C-137 and the others about other Ricks?

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

Not every villain needs a redemption arc

[5/10 · 2 October 2022]

I don't understand why Disney willingly chooses to sabotage their best villains to try and make them sympathetic.

In fact, I don't understand why this trend exists in pretty much every production company there is, right now. All it does is remove a "good villain" from their "deck" of villains to "play with" in other movies.

The Sanderson sisters were evil witches who "ate" children and cast silly spells to make people dance to death. They were a perfect example of "Horror for children" and perfect for Halloween.

The movie, itself, is very bland.

The idea of introducing "good witches" (aka thanks for fighting discrimination against modern witchcraft practitioners) is poorly done. I could see the idea of having 3 best friends becoming Salem 3 new witches forming, but it never really gets any where.

In fact, what happened with the plot involving the 3 girls' friendship? They really dropped the ball on this.

Having the Sanderson sisters once against feel "lost" in the modern world had already been done. The choice of one of the songs fell flat (especially with kids, the target audience, who found it cringy, and with returning fans who noticed the rehashing of some musical elements).

Overall, the main 2 problems were that the Sanderson sisters no longer felt like a threat and that the story was boring and incomplete.

It's too bad, because I had hopes for this movie.

However, Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Majimy depicted their characters perfectly, once again, and were very pleasant to watch on screen, despite the bland plot and "disneyfication" of their iconic characters.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

A movie that everyone loves, but have complaints about

[7/10 · 6 June 2022]

The movie broke 900 millions $$$, last weekend and deserving so.

Strangely, despite a good backstory and being a fun, visually stunning ride, people will remember this movie for the flaws that stopped the viewers from truly enjoying it.

Problems including:

• The movie being more Wanda Vision's Season 2 than a Doctor Strange movie;
• The movie failing at committing to make Wanda a compelling villain, which could've been easily solved by having her be possessed by the Darkhold, Sam Raimi style. (They tried, but it was weak sauce)
• America Chavez being a walking McGuffin, with a poor excuse for a "hero's journey"
• All the sorcerers, including Dr. Strange & Wong, having forgotten most of their powers
• A weak Strange/Christine Palmer storyline, which could've been a central motivation for both characters in the multiverse, but the production team completely blew it off, as if they had never seen 2 human beings interact before.

Easy fix for the movie could've included:

• Not killing off the "evil" version of Dr. Strange who tried to kill America at the beginning and being the one "our" Strange needed to face, towards the end;
• Have Wanda clearly go on a madness/possession journey... maybe have her madness spread to all the Wanda's of the multiverse, fulfilling the prophecy;
• Have America actually go on a learning journey, change her backstory (because it was really weak)... and have Strange help her to control her powers... it could've been so easy for Strange, instead of trying to take America's powers for him to control, like the Evil Strange, for Strange to give a portion of his power to America
• Have Stephen Strange and Christine Palmer have an actual conversation. Strange has been a complete dick to Christine, in the past, and Christine has moved on with her life. Sometimes, 2 people may have feelings for one another, but it's just not meant to be. Why was that so hard to put on screen?

No Exit (I) (2022)

Terrible waste of time

[3/10 · 28 February 2022]

Gave this 3 stars for the opening act, but that's it.

I refused to watch this movie any longer the moment the protagonist behaved in the stupidest way possible.

It's never a good sign when a character does something that no human being would ever even consider doing, unless an incompetent writer had to force a situation and create this absolutely impossible scenario, then made the person do that very thing.

If the main character had behaved in a normal way, things would've gone very differently and the movie would've been over within 20 minutes.

**Spoiler alert**

Alright, so the movie started in an OK way. It opens in a rehab center during a group therapy session. So, we get a little background on our main character and establish that people don't trust her, because she's a junkie with a history of relapse, she's also a thief, etc, etc.

Stuff happens, she steals a car and ends up stranded at a visitor center, with a group of random drivers who all got caught in the snowstorm.

AND THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE DROPS THE BALL.

What happens is that the main characters ends up in the parking lot, trying to get a signal for her phone. That's where a kidnapped little girl, trapped in the back of a van, makes some noise and gets the character's attention.

ANY NORMAL PERSON would've either A) broken the window, grabbed the girl and ran inside, alerting everyone or B) ran inside alerted everyone. Causing everyone to rush outside and grab the girl.

The character does NONE of those things. She stands around, completely lost. Wastes time taking pictures of the van's license plate. Stands around some more. She doesn't even put her phone away, while trying to open one of the doors. She doesn't grab anything or makes any effort to brake the windows. She also neither rushes nor walks back inside. For some reason, she hides behind the van, for a while. Then, she goes back inside and doesn't tell anyone.

At that point, I turned the movie off. The end.

The worst part is that making minor changes could've made this movie work. Per example: having the "guests" be in different parts of the visitors center, instead of everyone being in the main room when the protagonist found the girl could've justify that the protagonist didn't start screaming bloody murder when she found the girl.

But no.

The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)

Bit clunky 1st episode but good

[7/10 · 1 January 2022]

Sadly, Favreau & Filoni are getting into the habit of giving us an "average" First Episode in every new series. That first episode would've greatly benefited from having the narrator from the Clone Wars series drop by to explain to us what's going on. But, overall, this is a good start.

PRO - Setting the stage: that first episode does a good job at setting up the things that will follow. Basically, Boba Fett is taking over Jabba's criminal operations (after he disposed of Bib Fortuna, who had taken over after Jabba's death in Return of the Jedi). Boba is making the rounds, trying to impose himself as the new Crimelord in Mos Eisley... and is having moderate success. Also, Boba seems to require spending a lot of time in a bacta tank (medical tank filled with a liquid with regenerative properties). Why is that?

PRO - Action scenes: The battle scenes are well executed and are rather impressive.

PRO - Cantina scene: Ok, I have to admit, that one made me laugh.

CON - Pacing imbalance: I've noticed that the pacing is more than a bit off, in that first episode. Per example, the scene inside the Sarlacc should've been longer and contain more action, while the storyline with the Sand People should've been much shorter. In fact, the Sarlacc scene would've been the Highlight of that episode (if not of the series) if it had been done properly... I have a feeling that the Sarlacc scene was that short because of bugdet issues.

CON - Anti-hero - the most difficult character to write: Some of the audience (aka the casual fans I watched this with) were confused by Boba's actions. Isn't he a bad guy? If he wants to be a Crimelord, why is he trying to be nice about it? That's not how criminal organizations work... I get where the producers want to go, but making Boba too "nice" is playing against them.

I will continue watching this series with interest. My rating might go up or down, depending on whether or not the team can work out the "kinks" of the series.

Constantine (2014–2015)

Constantine's curse followed him IRL

[8/10 · 19 October 2021]

This show could've been good and been very popular.

Unfortunately, it was ridden with problems and bad decisions. The time and place it was aired was a problem to begin with. Who's going to watch a show full of demons, sacrilegious sarcasm and gore in the middle of the afternoon?

The show had trouble finding its tone and pacing. It was definitely too light for the subject of the show. It would've benefited greatly from taking notes from shows like Supernatural or American Horror Story or movies like Annabelle or The Ring. Because of the light approach, many "horror" scene ended up a bit goofy-looking.

The show should've been given an R-rating and go full horror.

The series was entirely carried by Matt Ryan in his role as John Constantine. His acting is a bit uneven, at first, but he quickly makes Constantine his own... Too bad we only get to see his full potential in another series where Ryan reprises his role (DC's Legends of Tomorrow). Ryan slips into the irreverent, chain-smoking, unapologetic sinner that his John Constantine as easily as Constantine slips into his trademark trench-coat.

Ryan balances out Constantine's arrogant, imperfect character, while also being able to tap into Constantine's tragic nature and compassionate inclinations.

This show was a missed opportunity, but I still give it an 8 for the attempt and Ryan's acting.

Masters of the Universe: Revelation: The Power of Grayskull (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

He-Man fans, avert your eyes!

[1/10 · 24 July 2021]

I feel used. We were LIED to.

All the promotion about this show claimed that this was a continuation of He-Man. It's not. He-Man gets killed right off the bat to make way for another character, Teela.

They also completely alter Teela, physically as well as psychologically. Her reactions are selfish and cruel. I don't see why we're supposed to root for this character.

This is a classic "bait & switch" reboot where they use the existing fanbase to boost the views, then discard the fans AND the main character to make way for their own creation, hoping enough people will stick around.

I wouldn't be so mad if Kevin Smith hadn't plain out LIED. He swore this wouldn't be the "Teela Show", but that's exactly what this is.