Jefferson_Jensen Reviews

Disaster L.A. (2014)

Good Enough

[5/10 · 3 November 2023]

This movie is okay for what it is. It's a pretty basic story about meteors that fly in from space and cause some urban destruction before things worsen when a space amoeba is realized from the smoldering meteors that turn people into zombies (this is not a spoiler, it becomes clear from the first ten minutes of the film). There are some pros and cons here. For one, if you're a horror fan like me then you'll spot that this zombie premise is an homage to Romero's classic "Night of the living dead" wherein the zombies are also caused my meteorite impact, so I did appreciate that as opposed to the more in vogue 'zombie virus' trope that was popular around the time of the movie's release. Also, this movie is well lit, it's easy on the eyes and the main actor, Justin Ray, stands out as a talented performer amid an unwatchable cast including actor Jerod Meagher who is so awfully overacting that it makes you beg for him to die off from scene one. This film has a weird mix of actors who seem either too timid to devote themselves to the situation or too reactive and they overdo it and I think that makes for a very disjointed viewing experience because everybody is reacting to threats in this movie with different levels of interest/fear and you start to wonder if these are actors or just friends of the director that he threw in front of the camera. The effects are okay for what they are, after all this is obviously an independent production and I don't fault the VFX crew because at the time of the release I'm sure that the smoke and debris overlays were considered decent looked better but looking at this in 2023 the CGI is obvious and looks cheap. As for the makeup FX, I think that they would've been better if the movie wasn't overly lit in those parts, revealing the flaws in them because let's be clear here, the zombies just look like people in Halloween store prosthetics, which CAN work in an indie film certainly but only if you're clever with the lighting and shadows. Another thing, the zombies never seem to be a threat due to how finite they are. Presumably the city is being overrun by thousands of these monsters and yet we don't see more than a handful across the course of the whole film. Again, I know that this didn't have much of a budget and they surely couldn't afford to hire lots and lots of extras for the story, but because they're so few zombies it feels like the stakes are low. For example, it'd feel much more invested to see a character I like being chased by 200 zombies rather than 3 because one is more intense and more visually interesting and the other reminds me of the budgetary issues this probably faced.

I saw this movie on the SyFy channel in the middle of the day years ago when I was in high school and if a movie is given the same timeslot as daytime TV that generally is a bad sign that it's just filler until prime time kicks in. I recalled liking it and watched it again recently only realize that now that I've wizened up with age that this film isn't amazing. It's watchable for sure, and again I'll note that Justin Ray did a good job but other than that this was a good idea executed poorly thanks to budgetary constraints, inconsistent acting performances and dated CGI. I'd honestly like to see a story like this remade with more money behind it because the story had potential.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Surprisingly Good!

[8/10 · 7 October 2023]

I honestly didn't expect this film to be very good, especially given the lackluster Dungeons and Dragons film from the 1980's and the fact that I normally am not a fan of Chris Pine. However, this film was just completely fun to watch. The jokes land, the special effects are pretty great looking and the cast gave it their all! I think that this film also did a great job of being a stand alone fantasy film for those who aren't very family with Dungeons and Dragons, because while I'm a fan of the game, I went with my friend who doesn't understand a thing about it and they enjoyed it as well because of the world of the film is made very approachable and the way dialogue unfolds really helps give context. Overall, I'm glad I saw this in theaters and, while I'm not normally a fan of sequels, I'd be eager to see one for this film. The only reason I can't give a higher rating is because it's not very memorable. I loved watching the movie in the moment but now, a few weeks later, the storyline doesn't fully stand out to me. Overall though, great movie.

Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021)

Underrated And Ok

[7/10 · 23 April 2023]

I saw this movie in theaters with my family when it first came out, despite the bad reviews. It's really a pretty good movie to watch casually or with kids obviously and I think that aside from some odd story points here and there, it was funny and competent. One odd thing to me was that the mother was British and the daughter and Uncle were not, and it took place in New York. I don't see why they didn't just opt to use an Americana accent, I doubt it'd be noticeable given that the mother was only on camera for 5 minutes or so out of the whole film. The CGI looked pretty great to me, which is interesting because I saw lots of critics deriding it but Clifford looked like a real dog in my point of view, especially when animated as a normal size early on in the film. Everybody pulls their weight when it comes to the cast, and John Cleese gives a standout performance as a charming and whimsical circus owner, though Tony Hale and Darby Camp are excellent too. Overall, this movie wasn't special, but it was good enough to see in theaters and didn't deserve to be reviewed so poorly.

Swipers (2022– )

Wasted Potential

[2/10 · 20 April 2023]

I follow one of the main actresses and filmmakers on social media and so I was actually anticipating this series and I thought it would be really interesting to see. Having said that, I'm disappointed in the finished product. This entire thing is riddled with technical issues and it feels like nobody working on this production had any expertise. Characters are sometimes cut out of the camera frame as if the cinematographer didn't frame up the scenes or the actors didn't properly block things out, and aside from that the sets look cheap and while that's fine for an independent production, they didn't make an effort to hide it and it REALLY shows. The sound production was also terrible with some lines being super loud and some lines being inaudible. Aside from that they're super long sequences of this show where there's silence for an awkwardly long time and there's no background score ever so the show just feels odd..... Plot wise, this doesn't really have a beginning middle and end and episodes kinda just have random scene after random scene with a very loose idea tying them together, making it a chore to try and follow the story. Like I said I'm a fan of the filmmaker and actress Chatejah George and so I expected big things, but this is a project just isn't it.

Infected (2013)

Unwatchable

[1/10 · 15 April 2023]

Honestly I feel a bit bad leaving a one-star review because this is somebody's creative work of art and I don't want to demean it but at the same time this movie was flat out terrible. I'll note that I'm American here so maybe this is just an issue for me but almost all of the time I can't even understand what the actors are saying due to SUPER thick accents, a lack of subtitles, and poor sound mixing as well as the lack of annunciation from the cast. I suppose the movie could boast some production value in the fact that they had plenty of extras to portray zombie hoards which is no small task for an indie film but the production value is squandered in a dull story and characters with no personalities. The camera work here is shotty and obviously filmed on camcorders from Best Buy without any thought given into the lighting or the camera angles. It looks like somebody just picked up a camera and began shooting whatever was in front of them and zooming in and out without any real purpose or Direction. I think that perhaps there was something they could have done here to make an okay movie but due to a lack of planning or something or Rush production Maybe it ended up just being a waste of 2 hours.

Open 24 Hours (2018)

Surprisingly Good

[8/10 · 9 March 2023]

I've reviewed another movie on IMDB by the same writer, and I was far less impressed with that particular film. So, when I watched all of this and then found out it was written by the same screenwriter I was pleasantly surprised. This movie is worth watching. It's eerie, it's contained, the story stands on its own and really was unsettling at times. I think that the cast did a great job, no complaints there and the camera work and lighting was amazing and made the dingy gas station look beautiful with a kind of worn out-small town charm. I think that this is worth watching, and while it might be a lower budget movie, you'd never be able to tell with the absolute quality of the everything and with spooky story.

Abominable (2020)

Could've Been A Dcent B Movie, But Wasted Potential

[3/10 · 7 March 2023]

Right around the onset of the 2020 pandemic I was at a Walmart with some friends browsing the DVD section where I first laid eyes on the intense cover art of this movie. All intensity stopped there. I expected an action packed adventure movie against a ferocious yeti in a barren landscape. Instead, this movie drones on and on with personality-less characters talking to each other in low murmurs that you can barely hear sometimes. On top of that, the camera work is shoddy, often times actors have the tops of their heads cut out of frame, and only half of the footage is color graded. Some scenes will look cinematic, on par with a T. V. movie and some look like raw footage shot by an amateur. The yeti effects look cool, but only in small amounts. In jaws you barely see the shark, in monster movies the makeup is dim lit to hide any flaws. But this movie hold the camera on the yeti for way too long in broad daylight, revealing the monster to be a rubbery costume in an obvious way. Don't get me wrong, there were some good things about the film, such as a few standout performances by Katrina Mattson as our heroine or Robert Berlin who is goes all in and chews on the scenery, in a really great way. But then you see other performances like the character "Pete" (Justin Moy) and you wonder how this movie even got released. I saw this with a friend and at one point "Pete" blurts out a whole sentence so fast that it's all incomprehensible, causing my friend to yell at my T. V. and say "did the director yell cut after take 1 ?" which is a fair question. There's some decent performing here, and some potential with this story, but the lackluster camera work/editing/lighting leads me to believe that this production simply hired the wrong director for the job.

Re-Animator (1985)

Amazing Story And Special Effects

[10/10 · 28 April 2022]

First and foremost people should go into this knowing that there is plenty of blood and gore effects and if that's something you're not interested in, then beware. Having said that, said effects are outstanding and help shape this into a terrifying visual spectacle. Filmed in an era that focused on practical effects, this is the height of horror makeup. As for the story, this is a loose adaptation of an HP Lovecraft classic though it doesn't feel dated at all and feels very universal as it explores themes of mortality, life, and humanitiy's neverending quest to find the cure for death. This movie might be campy but the performances are intense, the characters are layered, and the story and special effects all make for a movie that I have no complaints for. This is a must watch for any horror fan and I think would appeal to wider audiences too.

Planet Terror (2007)

Gorey Fun

[8/10 · 17 April 2022]

This is the better of the two films that came out of "Grindhouse" by far! This film is packed with amazing special effects and an original story that keeps you invested despite how goofy it is, which isn't easy to pull off. The film was never lacking and kept a good pace, balanced all the story lines and included a great cast of characters with each actor giving great performances. Obviously, this type of film isn't going to appeal to everybody after all it tend to be a bit explicit and while I won't spoil the plot I will note that there is lots of blood and gore which will turn some viewers off. There are also some allusions to sexual violence so viewers that are sensitive to those topics might want to beware. Having said that, I feel like these themes were included as an homage to the 1970s grindhouse films that inspired the movie as those films often featured these themes (namely "I Spit On Your Grave") but again, I can see how that could turn potential viewers away. Overall, I thought this film was shot beautifully with lots of red and green lighting, it was captured not only on film, but film that was strategically damaged to give it a very unique vintage look, and it had a fun story that was delivered with over the top but visually stunning special effects. It's worth the watch.

Dark Light (2019)

Impossibly Boring

[2/10 · 3 April 2022]

I tried to watch this film 2 different times because I like sci-fi horror and it looked akin to Signs or Dark Skies, two different alien horror films that I adore and deem to be grounded in reality. But this was a slog to get through, so much so that I fell asleep the first time I tried to watch it and almost slept again during the second time too. I didn't finish it but I watched about forty minutes of it before I opted out because this does not move swiftly, it dawdles and drags and I don't think I'm an impatient viewer typically but this film just had nothing to say and so the run time just never let up.

If you had to choose between Dark Light of sleeping pills I'd pick Dark Light because it'll put you out instantly.

The Power of the Dog (2021)

Nothing Special

[5/10 · 31 March 2022]

I love westerns of all types, from the early 20th century to the golden age of Hollywood to even contemporary ones so I was excited for this film. There definitely are some things that stand out, the live horses and landscape are a testament to the production value. Having said that, this wasn't anything that stood out to me story wise. I understand that it's adapted from a book, so perhaps the source material to to blame but it just droned on and on and for very little to actually happen, and while I don't mind a movie that established mood over action this also seemed to lack much of an emotional grounding too except for the natural chemistry between Jesse Plemons and Kirsten Dunst. Overall, I found it to be forgettable.

Mad God (2021)

A Feast For The Eyes

[10/10 · 15 December 2021]

Had the pleasure of seeing this at the Chicago International Film Festival. It was amazing to see it on the big screen and I firmly believe that's the only way to see this movie. There's not a line of dialogue in it, which might turn some people off, but the entire thing is a visual masterpiece with stop motion that is so smooth that you'd believe these little mutant puppets are really alive. Phil Tippet has created a creepy and beautiful world that the audience gets to explore with their eyes. Every scene has so much to look at that it definitely is the kind of film you can re-watch and find something else in a given scene.

Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)

Amazing And Worth The Watch

[10/10 · 29 July 2021]

This is a great show and I'm sad to see that it got review bombed by mad fans. For context: I'm college aged and didn't grow up during the show's original run, but I've seen the entirety of the 1980s series on DVD and TV growing up and I liked the 2002 reboot on cartoon network too. This is a GREAT show and very much in the vein of the original series but with updated graphics and animation, like the 2002 series. However, it is designed for an adult audience given that, well, the audience is now composed of adults. Many people are going to be turned off by that. They'll find it too dark, or complain about the character designs or feel alienated and disconnected from the personalities of the characters they knew from Decades ago. I'd counter that by saying that these are the same characters but in a different, more mature context, but in terms of characterization are the same. I feel like I jumped back into the show with the same friends and enemies as I always did. The fight scenes are swift and animated amazingly, the world is built up and expanded upon more than the original series (for example we get to see how the common folk of Eternia outside the palace live,) and the show reunites all of the favorite heroes and villains back on to the screen. It's really a shame to see this show be review bombed.

Bone Sickness (2004 Video)

Just Fun To Watch

[10/10 · 15 July 2021]

Yeah it's low budget but it's full of heart. The cast seems like they're having fun and that rubs off on the viewer. I'll concede the fact that the story makes no sense and trying to figure it out is like having three puzzles with their pieces mixed up. There's a random ghost plot that they start then drop. There's goblins or something. There are zombies. Random kill scenes of un-named characters and never explained. BUT, the effects are great as they are, and when one considers the fact that they're home made then they seem even more impressive. It's fun, it doesn't take itself too seriously and it's worth a watch just cause.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

It got better as it went on

[7/10 · 6 July 2021]

I'll be honest going into this: I'm not a big fan of time travel because it's either overly explained to cover plot holes or not explained enough and leaves me grasping to understand. This movie was a mix of both. The entire time travel thing here made no sense but it tried to explain it which made it more confusing and while watching the looooong drawn out action sequences I kept thinking back about X,Y,Z time travel scenarios. That aside, Dan (Chris Pratt) started off as a generic hero but I think came full circle with his own arch by the time the movie ended and the parallels between his character's arch and his father (JK Simmons) arch went well together. None of the characters from the future seemed really fleshed out and ended up being "red shirt" characters. The visuals were nice. The CGI looked pretty good, even when you looked at it for a long time. A lot of movies focus on the monster for too long and you end up noticing the costume or the faulty CG if the camera lingers but this wasn't the case. I won't spoil it cause that's not my style of review, but I'll say that as the ending drew closer and the lore became more detailed I became more invested. It's worth a watch.

The Unholy (2021)

More Dull Than Scary

[5/10 · 28 May 2021]

I don't want to come off harsh here because everybody in the cast gave it there all and there isn't a single actor here phoning in their performance. I'm a fan of Jeffrey Dean Morgan and he does well in this and the movie looks good too with great moody lighting but the story just isn't there. Slow paced, abysmal CGI (which I find odd given that this had a decent budget and Sam Raimi produced it) and not much in between. I guess I just expected more.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Worth The Watch

[7/10 · 21 May 2021]

A decade ago a lot of generic and dull zombie media was coming out in the wake of the walking dead. I'm glad this came out when it did because it's definitely an original idea that I don't think would've been made in that era. While I do appreciate the originality of the story, which is something people seem to beg for nowadays amid all the remakes and spin-offs that eek out of Hollywood, this was good but not gold. You can easily spot who the bad guy is early on so there's not much of a twist there. The main characters are archetypes, soldier with a heart of gold, nerdy technical guy, badass brute, etc., so there isn't much to be said there which is a shame cause the movie tries to create these emotional moments between card board cutout characters and they don't land. However, the lore of the zombies in this was probably the best part. A little bit of the traditional mindless undead mass, but also a mix of cunning akin to those in "I Am Legend." Overall, it's worth a watch and a fun movie but not something I'd rewatch, especially given the run time.

Last of the Grads (2021)

Not Good, Not Bad

[4/10 · 14 May 2021]

I rented this movie because my girlfriend and I are big fans of Cr1tikal (Charlie White) who had been promoting this on his Youtube page for months. I followed the production on Instagram and it looked promising, even boasting the participation of the same color grader who worked on "It Follows" which is a great film. This is not. It starts out decently and it looks well made, maybe a bit bright, like a soap opera. Over the course of the film it gets worse and worse. The gore FX look like wax and water dyed red in an obvious way, the script isn't great, and not a single character is more than a mere archetype or trope. Before most kills (not all, but most) there is a complete lack of build up or suspension and then the deaths kinda just happen in five seconds and are done. Overall,it's not unwatchable, but it's not worth watching again.