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Absolutely Fabulous (1992)
Bloody Buggery Bollocky WONDERFUL, Sweetie! Darlings!!!!
"Absolutely Fabulous" is the BEST sitcom EVER! That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it! My late best friend sent me a tape of a Comedy Central "Ab Fab" marathon, and once my jaw was off the floor, I laughed my arse off, and I became a life long fan! Unlike American sitcoms, which dictate that every character be likable and every episode have a happy ending and a moral lesson, the British don't dumb down their writing- if the characters are unlikeable, and they do questionable things, GUESS WHAT? Deal with it! "Ab Fab" is not a BBC documentary- it loud, gaudy, and knee-slapping hilarious! Jennifer Saunders (who writes every episode) is brilliant as Edina Monsoon, an overweight, needy, self-absorbed fashion nightmare who married twice, and bore the daughter of her 2nd (gay) husband, Saffron (Saffie to Edina, or Sweetie Darling when she forgets her name!) Saffey is as conservative and buttoned down as her mom is outrageous. She has a son from her first marriage, Serge', who ran away once he was out of high school, and uses any excuse to stay away from his crazy mom. Eddy's best friend is Patsy Stone JoannaLumley), a woman of indeterminate age (at least to herself) who wears the latest fashions, but sheds them as quick as the speed of light when she finds a man to screw, which is quite often.
Together these two tragically hilarious women drink gallons, smoke and snort everything and anything, and live every day as if they are on holiday. No fad is untouched, and no person is left uninsulted or verbally abused. Eddy's mother (June Whitfield) seems to be on another planet. But, she is very sly, and has no problem popping the balloon of Edina and Patsy's pomposity.
Spoiler Alerts: They've sold Saffie to white slavers in Morocco (and, to Patsy's dismay, retrieved her), flown a ridiculous trip to New York to take a picture of a doorhandle for Eddy's kitchen redecoration (after Patsy burns it down with her cigarette), and used Saffie's baby for a fashion shoot without her permission, among other rude and tasteless things. With no guilt or remorse, Pats and Edds bulldoze their way through the world, leaving fashion disasters and empty bottles and baggies behind.
If you haven't seen it, you MUST, sweetie darlings! Five series and several specials are available (now in a 9-DVD set housed in a satin-quilted book box made to look like a fashionable coffee table tome). If you can rent them, rent them. But, be forewarned: you may find yourself craving ciggs, booze, and loud unfashionable clothing. And, an urge to call everyone "Sweetie Darling"! And- really- what's wrong with that? Cheers, and thanks a lot!
Absolute Beginners (1986)
Absolutely Wonderful!!!!!
I remember when "Absolute Beginners" was being filmed, and MTV had a contest where one lucky fan got to appear as an extra in the "Selling Out" number, and who got to hang out with David Bowie (man, did I wish rains of rocks to fall on her head- I wanted to hang with Bowie, damnit!) I didn't get to see it until years later, when I rented it. I ended up buying it on VHS, and have loved it now as I did when I first rented it. The 'serious' part of the film- the race riots- seem to not quite jibe with the rest of the film upon a first viewing. But, once you realize that you're not watching a serious BBC documentary on the subject, and that the package as a whole is meant to be entertaining and exciting to watch, it all fits together quite nicely.
Even though Bowie is prominently featured in all the adverts and on the video cover, he is actually only in it for about 10 minutes. But, what a ten minutes! His theme song (the movie's title) is wonderful, and if you can find it, the full-length version (around 8:00 + minutes) is spectacular. "That's Motivation", his sole musical performance, is a sly dig at the pretentiousness of the advertising world and the self-motivation needed to truly sell your soul to Madison Avenue (or, London's equivalent). As Vendice Partners, he exemplifies the kind of greasy vampires who were beginning to discover the power of the teenager and advertising. The late Anita Morris is delicious as Dido Lament, the yank gossip columnist, who is just as much of a vampire as Vendice, except her prey are horny teenage males. Eddie O'Connell as Colin and Patsy Kensit as Suzzette (Crepe' Suzzette, as she is referred to in the film) are cute together as the lead teens, with "Having It All" (Suzzette's number) a showcase for her singing style, which is a cross between Minnie Mouse and Tracy Ullman (and I mean that as a compliment!) Julien Temple is a fantastic director, and his keen sense of style is evident throughout this picture (the same style he brings to his music videos). The fantastic opening shot, one (apparantly) long take, is exciting (he did the same thing for "When I Think Of You" by Janet Jackson). The sets all evoke a hyper-realistic view of 1950's London, when times were finally good and London started to swing. The costumes are imaginative, and the dance sequences vibrant.
It's kind of surprising that "Absolute Beginners" gets overlooked when flashy movies of the 80's are listed. I was surprised to hear it was a huge bomb on both sides of the Atlantic, and held contribute to the film's studio, Goldcrest, going bankrupt. It's a true undiscovered gem, one that should be picked up, polished to its ultimate brightness, and looked at again and again. It's (to coin the title of my fave sitcom) Absolutely Fabulous! If you're reading this, and you haven't seen it yet, you won't regret it if you do. Absolutely.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
"Superman 4: The Search (and failure) For Decent Collaborators
I remember when I first heard about "Superman 4" being produced, and the names Golan/Globus were uttered. My first thought: The guys who do the Chuck Norris movies? And, second: It's going to be bad! When my roommate and I went to see "S4" the week it came out, my thoughts unfortunately came true. From the glittery opening credits (glitter?), to (spolier alert!) Lex Luthor bring put back into his prison rock quarry (I didn't know they still had those), "Superman 4: The Quest For Peace" is simply a well-intentioned idea executed badly. Christopher Reeve's basic idea was a good one, but Cannon simply dropped the ball due to greed (using not only the original budget, but even MORE money given to them by Warner Bros., to shore up other failures, including "He-Man and The Masters Of The Universe") and incompetence. Margot Kidder looks pale, with EXTREMELY mascaraed eyes, but she does manage to convey her love for Superman. Mariel Hemmingway had nothing to work with as Lacy Warfield, but she serves her purpose of being pretty (despite the odd costume designs that she, and everyone else, sports). Gene Hackman is sleep-acting through his role, but he still manages to make Lex snidely evil. The less said about Jon Cryer's performance, the better ("The Dude of Steel? Boy, are you gonna get it!") As for Mark Pillow? You can't fault him too much- it was his first film, and he was picked to be the sex-appeal villain (plus, his cheesy costume does him no favors.) His lines mainly consist of mouthing roars that are post-dubbed by Gene Hackman. Chris Reeve is still Superman, and his performance is his usual best. The effects are amusingly bad- flying strings abound unremoved, the models look like just what they are-models- and some of them are just bizarre. Who knew Supes had a spare mesh bag put away if she should just happen to gather all the worlds' nuclear missiles and toss them into the sun? And, who knew the Earth's countries had THAT many missiles? Who knew you could move the moon out of its orbit without causing massive problems on Earth? FINALLY, who knew you could breathe in space? Lacy Warfield has no problems doing it while hanging onto the unconscious Nuclear Man! I could go on, but if you're reading this you've most likely seen "S4", and understand about the effects completely. As bad as this film is, though, I find myself watching it again and again, maybe hoping that a Happy Film Fairy worked their magic and changed the film, making it better. Reeve and Kidder (as well as the rest of the film series' cast) do their best with what they have to work with. Once Chris Reeve had his accident and ended up in a wheelchair, my heart sank knowing he'd never be able to do another Superman film, and possibly end the series on a higher note than "S4" did. But, "Superman 4" is what it is, and (Spolier alert?) the Deluxe Edition DVD offers a bunch of deleted scenes(with stock music and unfinished effects)that show what "S4" could have been if the premiere screening hadn't been so negative as to cause massive re-editing. The film would've made a lot more sense in certain parts, and (in my opinion), a lot more fun. "S4" is bad, yes, but not repulsively so. Just to be able to see Chris Reeve and Lois Lane fly around the world again (albeit badly!) makes "Superman 4: The Quest For Peace" worth another viewing. It''d be nice to see the complete cut used for the aforementioned secret screening, but until that happens, we have this version. Which, for entertainment and nostalgia, is alright. Chris Reeve's heart was in the right place, but Cannon Films' heart was not. A shame.
P.S.: If you can find a copy of the"International Version" somehow (I recorded it on VHS from Superstation TBS several years ago), you'll see two scenes featured in the DVD Deleted Scenes section, but fully integrated into the film (full music and effects): Superman saves a little girl (actually, Chris Reeve's young daughter) from a tornado in what looks like Kansas (or possibly, Smallville): and, Superman saves Russian politicians from a nuclearmissle that Nuclear Man aims at them.