rbelkin8000 Reviews

Bikini Chain Gang (2005 Video)

Clearly An $11 Movie But Nude Scenes Well Lit

[6/10 · 1 April 2007]

The three extended long (5 minutes each) nude scenes place this in the higher echelon of the no plot-softcore movie subgenre as they are well lit and the actresses seem reasonably interested in the task at hand.

That task being - giving the other woman in the scene an extended tongue bath.

The plot unfolds as this - prisoners are issued small tank tops or bikinis. The prison guards & warden are corrupt and sadistic - mainly because they snarl and wear leather but really, that's pretty much it. In fact, the warden office is pretty much the producer's office with some handcuffs and what looks like the pots & pan holder and the prison van is a white cargo van with zero markings. In bikinis they escape but it's not particularly sexy as they seem to walking through a park. So, it's conveniently a 15-minute movie as after the two 5-minute locker room sex scenes and the always reliable Beverly Lynne in the warden's office - you can just rewind as that is the best part of the "film."

The Sex Spa (2003 Video)

One of the Greatest Classics in the Genre

[9/10 · 17 December 2006]

Some people's expectations might be just a bit high in regards to this film but is it really a stretch to say that you might need to understand that a movie called SEX SPA is mostly filled with sexy, gorgeous women who are often naked and ... yes, having sex ... in strangely enough, in a spa setting - what else were you expecting? Yes, there's not a lot of plot - sexy gorgeous women arrive at a spa looking for, finding and partaking in sex with the attendants and with each other. It's a classic because for the most part the women are all natural beauties - no tattoos and the sex scenes are nicely staged and filmed - you can actually see the actresses and the camera is not positioned in another room. The lighting is professional and the editing is not done by someone who thinks he gets paid by the dissolve.

Unlike Sex Spa 2 where they all seem to be hard edged tattoos silicon heavy and leathery, the women of Sex Spa are all approachable normal looking hot women - what more could you ask for except that this should be released on DVD while the less deserving Sex Spa 2 should be deleted.

Busty Cops 2 (2006 Video)

If You Like Tattoos & Big Silicon - This is Your Movie

[4/10 · 4 November 2006]

There's nothing wrong with softcore but this one is pretty clinical - lots of nudity but it's all fake (of course, it's always fake - it's a movie but you know what I mean). There's no sexuality or erotica, it's all random nudity and poor acting of "lust" and sex with each other.

Part of it is of course, your personal preference. These women clearly have some body issues with their piercings, tattoos and silicon - not to mention that overly plastique & leathery look so if that's your thing - great, you get to see all that here.

I don't think anyone's expectations are very high when looking at a movie title such as this but for many people, it would be pretty much like looking at cyborg fembots ... they almost seem real but it's really more creepy.

Naked Encounters (2005 Video)

No Plot to Speak Of But All Natural

[9/10 · 4 November 2006]

Not much of a plot and the guys cannot act at all but the women are pretty much tattoo free and mostly all natural - one of the best of the sub-genre.

The sub genre being the softcore-no plot category but that's acceptable - while once upon a time we had movies like Emmanuelle 2 which had a budget, exotic locations and pretensions to be something more, the more recent movies have gone to the series of vignettes thing - which is okay as in this case, where the women are attractive, tattoo free (mostly) and are plausibly convincing in their vignettes of why their clothes are falling off. Of course, anything with Monique Alexander will be a little classier.

The Best Sex Ever (2002–2003)

Highest & Most Consistent Quality of the Late Night Shows

[9/10 · 4 November 2006]

Yes, I know they don't want to be too subtle so people know what the listing is for but I think the name is a little blatant and not creative enough - especially since it's one of the better and higher quality late night cable series.

Angela Davies is a sex psychologist who answer calls - which shocking all involve gorgeous babes - and unlike a lot of other series which featured a lot of tattooed women you might see on a street corner - Best Sex Ever featured the girl-next-door look.

In additional to problem with their men, the girls would almost always find solace in another woman who would show them or their boyfriends the proper way to be a lady ... naked, of course.

Sometimes Angela would join in also. An excellent series of the genre and well worth catching.