The very premise of this show is a lie. There is NO SUCH THING as photographic memory or perfect recall. Human memory is fragile, unreliable and easily influenced by a variety of factors. Two people can have completely different versions of the same event without either person thinking that they're lying or behaving deceptively. In fact, the more confident a detective is that they know exactly how events unfolded, the more likely they are to make a mistake. The more sure a detective is, the more likely they are to get tunnel vision and exclude any other reasonable explanation. Law enforcement has a vested interest in lying to you. ID has a vested interest in perpetuating law enforcement propaganda. You should not be applauding this detective for failing to take notes. You should be thinking, "why on earth doesn't this guy think proper documentation is necessary?"
Reviews
17 Reviews
Shallow and morally reprehensible.
27 January 2023
Everyone who came into contact with this vulnerable, profoundly unwell man should be ashamed of themselves. How did any of these blood-suckers think participating in this documentary was a good idea? If I participated in the exploitation of this young man, you better bet I would hide that fact from the world until the day I died. The unbridled glee that all these media figures have when recalling their time with Kai is disgusting. There is no self-reflection. No sense of responsibility. No question of what kind of role they played in Kai's downward spiral. NOTHING. They just cared about how they can monetize his existence and enable his dysfunctional behavior. If all of that doesn't sound stomach-turning enough, there is also an overwhelming amount of stigma and disdain for unhoused people. Half of this documentary is remarkably tone-deaf exploitation and the other half is your standard, unreliable Copaganda garbage. I almost turned it off as soon as the East Cost cops show up. Everyone was so quick to embrace Kai as a Meme Hero and then immediately wash their hands of him. Shame on you, random Fresno Nobody Sports Reporter for riding a mentally ill man's coattails to a career you don't deserve.
I Survived a Crime
(2021– )
Amateur hour + casual racism.
24 October 2022
It's got a trashy appeal and but there are YouTube true crime channels with editing and professionalism that would blow this garbage out of the water. That's not my main gripe, though. It's how this show overwhelming portrays black or other POC suspects. For every white suspect, there will be 3-5 segments with a POC. What is this, "COPS?" They also make the perplexing decision to show the suspects charges and sentence, if available. Having this information on the screen just highlights a further disconnect between what sentences white suspects get versus literally everyone else. In a single episode, they showcase a black man who was convicted of vehicular hit-and-run who gets 5 years. The very next segment is a white, middle class man viciously assaulting his wife (resulting in lifetime disability, pain and trauma) and he only gets 3 years, 2 of which were suspended. I get it, they're different states, different histories with law enforcement, and all the other stuff bootlickers say. I'm just wondering why they thought presenting this information side-by-side wouldn't raise some eyebrows.
Jurassic World Dominion
(2022)
Embarrassing.
10 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It boggles my mind that both this and Fallen Kingdom are both rated higher than JP3. JP3 is bad, but it's at least mercifully short and had a cool apex predator threat.
Dominion is long, boring and doesn't have a single moment of suspense, tension or genuine fear. There are exactly two positive things about JW3: Kayla (DeWanda Wise) and the 5 second clip of the little girl getting terrorized by the compys.
Everything else is loud garbage. They do nothing to explore any kind of serious effect dinosaurs would have on our ecosystem. Dinosaurs invading the mainland, the ENTIRE premise of this stupid movie, get about 10 minutes of screen time. Everything else takes place in a jungle, science lab or isolated, wooded location. It may as well have just taken place on Nublar or Sorna.
Skip this. I thought there was no way JW3 could be as bad as JW2 and I was dead wrong. They're both about the sale level of dumb, but JW3 is so much more boring than JW2, which I also hate.
Dominion is long, boring and doesn't have a single moment of suspense, tension or genuine fear. There are exactly two positive things about JW3: Kayla (DeWanda Wise) and the 5 second clip of the little girl getting terrorized by the compys.
Everything else is loud garbage. They do nothing to explore any kind of serious effect dinosaurs would have on our ecosystem. Dinosaurs invading the mainland, the ENTIRE premise of this stupid movie, get about 10 minutes of screen time. Everything else takes place in a jungle, science lab or isolated, wooded location. It may as well have just taken place on Nublar or Sorna.
Skip this. I thought there was no way JW3 could be as bad as JW2 and I was dead wrong. They're both about the sale level of dumb, but JW3 is so much more boring than JW2, which I also hate.
Firestarter
(2022)
The pieces are all there...
20 May 2022
...they just don't fit particularly well. Unlike the drama queens leaving 1-star reviews, I can honestly say there is some fun to be had. The score is great. The effects, while quite unrealistic (get over it, CGI fire ALWAYS look like trash, even in AAA video games) come in entertaining, bombastic bursts that shake up the plodding storytelling.
Just watch, extract some fun or continue to give yourself ulcers in our march to the grave. It's your funeral. Who cares if you're too miserable a person for anyone to show up?
Just watch, extract some fun or continue to give yourself ulcers in our march to the grave. It's your funeral. Who cares if you're too miserable a person for anyone to show up?
Very interesting, if a bit bloated.
11 March 2022
The pretentious reviews by people who not only have no idea what they're saying but also (falsely) think anyone cares what they say. I hear "bad editing" a lot and then exactly zero explanation about what makes it bad. Suicide Squad (2016) has bad editing. Resident Evil 6 (2017) has bad editing. The editing here, from a technical perspective, is fine. The only editing that is lacking here is slightly too much information.
I Care a Lot
(2020)
Amazing potential. Frustratingly pedestrian.
24 February 2022
The first 30-45 minutes I was enthralled. This subject of exploiting elderly people through unnecessary guardianship orders have been exploding the last few years. For good reason. It's elder abuse, plain and simple. What does this writer/director do with such a topical and scandalous premise? Turn it into an absurd mafia thriller that gets increasingly stupid with every passing minute.
Credit where credit is due: Pike is FANTASTIC. She is a thoroughly loathsome and detestable character and only an actor of Pike's caliber could have pulled this off. You will hate her every second she's on screen and still want to see more. This movie DOES NOT deserve her.
Credit where credit is due: Pike is FANTASTIC. She is a thoroughly loathsome and detestable character and only an actor of Pike's caliber could have pulled this off. You will hate her every second she's on screen and still want to see more. This movie DOES NOT deserve her.
As scary as slapping yourself in the face.
5 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
It is truly god awful. Bad directing, bad writing, bad editing and utterly incoherent. I knew I was in for a tough trip when an they recreate the iconic Exorcist poster art for some reason and then proceed to berate you with the loudest exorcism ever. It's what you would imagine a low-effort, early 00s edgy remake of The Exorcist would play out. The Conjuring: Way Too Long of a Subtitle isn't just the weakest Conjuring, but it is not even in the same ballpark as the first Annabelle, let along the actual Conjuring movies. The only entry I can say, with confidence, is worse is The Nun. Even the Conjurverse's bread and butter, jump scares, all fall completely flat and you will see them coming miles away. Annabelle lived and died by jump scares, but at least all of those landed effectively. I always thought the Conjurverse was a mixed bag, but I never thought the second worst of the entire shared universe would end up being a mainline entry. I'm not even trying to be a contrarian. I was all for a lesser-but-fun sequel, giving a new director a chance to flex his skills. This was worse than La Llorona. At least that mess had a sufficient scary spirit/entity. This has none of that. This has no real demon or supernatural entity. It's just SOME LADY trying to piss off her dad. Even the lovable Warrens only marginally improve this movie, and poor Patrick and Vera look insanely bored. The Warren characters will derp around on 3 different investigations that barely connect while having more pressing issues. The characters have no development. You will not care or even fully be aware of what's happening. It'a just a lot of loud nonsense that legitimizes ridiculous legal defenses like demonic possession. No, a real person was murdered. The whole thing is a technically and morally bankrupt garbage fire. If you must watch, do it on HBOmax and then watch something that isn't terrible immediately after. Don't go to a theater to see it, even if you're over the pandemic scare. Watch it in your living room so you don't disturb the other patrons when you laugh at the horrific writing, dialogue and complete lack of sense for the 50th time.
Wonder Woman 1984
(2020)
Well, DCEU certainly WAS on the right track.
2 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
First off, I hate superhero movies. They're shallow, there's way too many of them and their fans are the literal worst. Well, second worst (Star Wars fans will always hold the first place). I had to be all but physically coerced into seeing the first Wonder Woman and you know what? It was good. Darn good. Charming, exhilarating, funny (but not obnoxious Marvel "funny") and competently conveyed its themes to the audience.
WW84 is a total hatchet job. It has no themes, no thesis and succeeds only in its technical presentation. I didn't listen to the first round of negative reviews from critics or audiences. Time has taught me that neither can be trusted. I also just cynically assumed it was all toxic fanboys that finally decided to stop harassing Brie Larson and moved onto Kristen Wiig. I hate to admit, but sometimes even the worst fandoms are right about a thing or two. Broken clocks are still right two times a day, right?
After the SECOND opening action sequence was presented, I felt like it was going to be a bumpy ride. Seriously, what was the point of the Amazonian Olympics? Why was Diane chastised for taking a shortcut when it was never an issue for her? The mall action scene would've been perfectly good, but they decided it was better just to confuse and annoy people. That's an entire paragraph and I'm only at the beginning.
WW84 worst offenses: 1) Diane is an apathetic, co-dependent mess who needs a man. In the first film, she was the exact opposite. Diane was the epitome of genuine "female empowerment," and not the "MORE FEMALE CEOS," pop-feminism kind of empowerment.
2) A man's bodily autonomy is stripped from him and played for laughs with zero awareness of it's problematic implications.
3) The g-d Irish thing at the end. There's deep, real and dangerous bigotry in America. Once again, it's played for laughs with no self-awareness. Xenophobia isn't funny. The cruelty Irish immigrants endured in America isn't funny. Seeing as the Wishmaster is a Trump analog, there was a total wasted opportunity to reflect some of his real-life prejudice. But nope. We got "get out of here you silly Irish immigrant lol."
4) Barbara. Kristen Wiig could've knocked this role out of the park. When I saw the trailer, I thought it was a bold and fun choice for a villain. Instead, we get a meek, green-eyed little monster who wants to be the hot chick. In academia, I believe we would call this "jealous b*tches."
5) Cheetah. What in the actual flop was this? Did one of the CGI cats from Cats escape and wander on set? The final battle was so short, uninteresting and way too dark for the action to be even a little bit exciting. I was aggressively checking the clock at this point.
6) 80s nostalgia. It was old after the first season of Stranger Things. The 80s were a terrible time. There's nothing nostalgic about bad music, the AIDS crisis, the Cold War and The War on Drugs. Thanks again, Reagen.
Now, I know I just wrote an unnecessarily long, nit-picky, whine-fest and didn't acknowledge a single positive thing. That's because I can really only compliment SOME of the action and that's not something a $200 million movie should be applauded for. It should be a given that money that could support a small nation has action/SFX. Wishmaster was fun too, even though I don't understand why every bad guy needs a redemption arc. It's dumb. Otherwise, what were you spending it on? I'm raging into a review no one read because I was actually invested in this world and character. I guess I'll have to consider watching Snyder's 87-hour cut of Justice League since there's, allegedly, a decent film in there somewhere with Wonder Woman.
Oh well, RIP any and all interest I may have had in future superhero movies.
WW84 is a total hatchet job. It has no themes, no thesis and succeeds only in its technical presentation. I didn't listen to the first round of negative reviews from critics or audiences. Time has taught me that neither can be trusted. I also just cynically assumed it was all toxic fanboys that finally decided to stop harassing Brie Larson and moved onto Kristen Wiig. I hate to admit, but sometimes even the worst fandoms are right about a thing or two. Broken clocks are still right two times a day, right?
After the SECOND opening action sequence was presented, I felt like it was going to be a bumpy ride. Seriously, what was the point of the Amazonian Olympics? Why was Diane chastised for taking a shortcut when it was never an issue for her? The mall action scene would've been perfectly good, but they decided it was better just to confuse and annoy people. That's an entire paragraph and I'm only at the beginning.
WW84 worst offenses: 1) Diane is an apathetic, co-dependent mess who needs a man. In the first film, she was the exact opposite. Diane was the epitome of genuine "female empowerment," and not the "MORE FEMALE CEOS," pop-feminism kind of empowerment.
2) A man's bodily autonomy is stripped from him and played for laughs with zero awareness of it's problematic implications.
3) The g-d Irish thing at the end. There's deep, real and dangerous bigotry in America. Once again, it's played for laughs with no self-awareness. Xenophobia isn't funny. The cruelty Irish immigrants endured in America isn't funny. Seeing as the Wishmaster is a Trump analog, there was a total wasted opportunity to reflect some of his real-life prejudice. But nope. We got "get out of here you silly Irish immigrant lol."
4) Barbara. Kristen Wiig could've knocked this role out of the park. When I saw the trailer, I thought it was a bold and fun choice for a villain. Instead, we get a meek, green-eyed little monster who wants to be the hot chick. In academia, I believe we would call this "jealous b*tches."
5) Cheetah. What in the actual flop was this? Did one of the CGI cats from Cats escape and wander on set? The final battle was so short, uninteresting and way too dark for the action to be even a little bit exciting. I was aggressively checking the clock at this point.
6) 80s nostalgia. It was old after the first season of Stranger Things. The 80s were a terrible time. There's nothing nostalgic about bad music, the AIDS crisis, the Cold War and The War on Drugs. Thanks again, Reagen.
Now, I know I just wrote an unnecessarily long, nit-picky, whine-fest and didn't acknowledge a single positive thing. That's because I can really only compliment SOME of the action and that's not something a $200 million movie should be applauded for. It should be a given that money that could support a small nation has action/SFX. Wishmaster was fun too, even though I don't understand why every bad guy needs a redemption arc. It's dumb. Otherwise, what were you spending it on? I'm raging into a review no one read because I was actually invested in this world and character. I guess I'll have to consider watching Snyder's 87-hour cut of Justice League since there's, allegedly, a decent film in there somewhere with Wonder Woman.
Oh well, RIP any and all interest I may have had in future superhero movies.
Zero Punctuation
(2007–2023)
Bad-faith criticism from a total wet blanket, kill-joy.
31 May 2021
This series used to be great. Looks to reviews of Alan Wake, RE5 and really anything pre-2013 or so. Now, all we get are total drivel. There's no effort to make jokes any more. His "criticisms" nowadays are extremely shallow and fall more in lines with garbage like CinemaSins. Mean-spirited humor is fun. Mean-spirited humor can truly make a good point and make you laugh at the same time. His videos are just mean-spirited, period. As he's gotten more wealthy, his videos have gotten worse. These days I can really only tolerate his personality in unscripted, documentary-style videos about his own projects or the odd E3 coverage, or something.
He's also a touch transphobic too. Back when I didn't understand the community, I'd have happily looked passed it. Now I see the real harm that attitudes like mine have had to the trans community. It's not cute, Yahtzee. You just look like you want attention.
He's also a touch transphobic too. Back when I didn't understand the community, I'd have happily looked passed it. Now I see the real harm that attitudes like mine have had to the trans community. It's not cute, Yahtzee. You just look like you want attention.
Resident Evil Village
(2021 Video Game)
RE has never been better.
10 May 2021
Easily the best entry since RE4 (and this sequel had HUGE shoes to fill after the excellent RE7 + solid remakes). Who knew a franchise this old and convoluted can still mix it up and surprise you. It was a completely thrilling/horrifying/camp/hilarious/unintentionally hilarious 15 hours.
It can be as short as 8 hours (if you got some place to be) and as long as 20 hours. I don't usually buy games at full price on launch, but this was worth every penny.
Very replayable and fun Mercenaries mode too.
It can be as short as 8 hours (if you got some place to be) and as long as 20 hours. I don't usually buy games at full price on launch, but this was worth every penny.
Very replayable and fun Mercenaries mode too.
An embarrassing trash fire.
16 February 2021
This is what happens when you give professional e-beggars (I think the kids call them...YouTubers?) a platform to split their conspiracy theories. It's really simple people. It's either a tragic suicide under unique circumstances or an unsolved homicide in a notoriously high-crime area. No, it's not an edgy internet rando who creates dark art. Even worse, the people actually qualified to comment on the story just look like total buffoons. You hear tired cop cliche after tired cop cliche. The editors had either crap to work with and this was the best they could do, or they wanted to make the law enforcement and hotel staff look as incompetent as possible. Both of which could be true, but why the heck do I have to hear from true crime YouTubers? There's a for their stupid theories and conspiracies - it's called YouTube. Or Reddit, if you truly want a grotesque sample for how garbage humanity is.
This whole thing was truly tasteless in every sense of the word. And this is coming from someone who watched bad ID true crime shows to help me fall asleep every night. Do not watch this. Please.
This whole thing was truly tasteless in every sense of the word. And this is coming from someone who watched bad ID true crime shows to help me fall asleep every night. Do not watch this. Please.
If there is a Hell...
7 February 2021
The Assignment
(I) (2016)
SMH...
22 January 2021
Yet another harmful representation of trans people being evil. And yes, this trash does portray the character as evil. He was someone who murdered people for money, right? Keep scrolling through your Netflix queue and skip this. You'll find something much more valuable, like Teen Mom 2 or Hoarders.
A little perplexed, but thoroughly satisfied.
15 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I love reading one-star reviews from petty cretins who are sad the show didn't end in the predictable cliche they wanted. Too bad, I guess it's like the writers didn't want to pander to a bunch of mouth-breathers who let a strange few minutes ruin their day. There's plenty of one-star shows out there. Plenty of one-star finales too. If you think this is one of them, then I can't help you. It's not like it was the series finale. Don't get your panties in an uproar until you see the series til the end. If not, then BYE! If you're done, then be done. Don't one-star an otherwise intense and thrilling finale because Marcella gave herself a half-Chelsea Grin. Kill your youngest child, repress the memory and then see how you fare. Odds are, at least some of you will do a looney thing or two. There's plenty of other British entertainment to type your angry reviews at. Safe, The Stranger, Retribution...all of which are fine shows, but I'm sure the angry masses can find something to get all sensitive about in their respective finales.
A Million Little Pieces
(2018)
Complete wasted opportunity.
1 September 2020
The controversy surrounding this once-memoir, now fictional novel would have been exponentially more interesting than just a straight adaptation. Filmmakers, when you cast addicts, perhaps don't cast people who look like CrossFit instructors?
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