mariondowning Reviews

Britannia High (2008–2009)

One word: Crap

[1/10 · 20 February 2009]

Terrible, terrible, terrible, cheesy music videos thrown in to random scenes. Like the "sad" black and white filmed farewell at an airport (with the girl and her teacher who she slept with) where everyone in the background stands around watching while these two lovers sing a song and dance. The characters in this show all seem self absorbed (Oh, their teenagers, so that part is the only realistic part about this and even that sucked) all talking over each other and overacting. The only thing I enjoyed was watching those two teenagers drink out of a cup made by their landlady that was made with clay from the backyard that had possible been sh*t in by cats. What a mega waste of airtime.

Final Run (1999 TV Movie)

All aboard the Springfield Monrail

[1/10 · 6 April 2007]

This was like watching an extended dumbed down version of the Simpson's episode with the monorail. High tech piece of machinery costs a fortune, has no overide, has no brakes, employees have no training, characters with the depth of a 2D cartoon character. Mix it with an episode of Superman (mainly the bit about being faster than a speeding locomotive). The driver had less knowledge of driving this train than Homer did and Homer is meant to be dumb. I waited for the Siamese twins to be separated and the giant doughnut to stop the train. The giant doughnut was more realistic than the ending in this flop. If you want to watch a believable program about stopping a runaway train watch Homer and son save the day and save yourself an hour and a few brain cells.

A Majority of One (1961)

Obi-Wan in a kimono

[19 January 2007]

Alec sounded just as he always did, I was waiting for Darth to come out with his light saber and try to take him to the dark side. They must have had his eyes duct taped down, they looked as fake as the accent sounded. I didn't fully get into this story since I couldn't get over that ever changing accent. Sometimes he sounded French, for example, when he says something about "sh"anging trains and the word "diversification" other times it sounded German, Italian and British it just couldn't make up it's mind. The fake Japanese businessmen were not necessary at all (with their glasses on to make them look intelligent and visually impaired as all good stereotypical Japanese are).

Nine Months (1995)

I AM a mother and I hate it!

[1/10 · 4 November 2006]

I am a PARENT and I cringed all through this movie. This slop belongs in the early 1900s where the stereotypical woman conned a man into getting them pregnant then guilted him into marrying her.

Why do men have to love the idea of being a father and aspire toward it? Parenting is a hard job and it shouldn't be trivialised, kids change everything about your life and you aren't you anymore. You're so and so's Mum/Dad or so and so's Grandparent for the rest of your life no matter how hard you try to keep your own life. People should be ready to have kids, not have it thrust upon them and be expected to change into Superparent on demand or be shunned like a leper.

There are already too many hurt kids in this world who were born so their parents could have what they wanted, then decided they weren't what they wanted after all. Enough.