Change Your Image
graemejwalker
Reviews
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
This Film Is BAD
Here lies Indiana Jones. Another notch on the tomb of modern cinema. Just look at it!
I am sitting back at home thoroughly unexhausted and under-entertained by the overwhelming lack of soul in this production. I am trying to find ways to forgive it, but all I can think of is "Well, it is an Indy film", which is completely lame. Poor lame old Indy, if only he had half the gumption of his dead pa, but ol' hopalong just can't cut the mustard no more.
What is there that is commendable here? This film is excruciatingly poor: edited to the point of gibberish, with endlessly pointless, improbable and disconnected "action" "sequences"; zero mis-en-scene or character development, who are these people? And what is the "world" they occupy? And who cares?; bad/zero dialogue - a charmless script, no wonder Indy is almost completely absent from the film as is any sense of "chemistry" between either his future wife or his "son", who is clearly going to be "the next Indiana Jones". Yuck!
For most of today I have been humming the theme tune in anticipation, but there is almost no soundtrack of note in the film and certainly none of the wonderful "here we go! We're in an Indiana Jones film! Huzzah!" stuff, which should have happened, I reckon, right at the start. Instead we get kind of half-arsed snippets of bland whatever bits that amount to serious amounts of nothing... Oh lord!
What is so painful though here is, above everything, the persistence of the use of CGI. Listen up! It's no good! Please please stop using it. It looks bad, just bad bad bad. It will never look good. You cannot win over the hearts of people (who are, you must admit, your target audience) who prefer films without it. We don't like it for a reason.
I cannot muster the energy to say anything else here - it is already being said, everywhere... THIS FILM IS BAD. R.I.P I.J 1939
The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse (2005)
Boo! Hiss!
This review took longer to write than I took to watch this film. It's just plain bad. The plot is terrible in comparison to the TV shows. It is flat, unfunny and boring.
It is clear that the LoG ran out of ideas long before this film was green lit. Viewers should read this as an example of not knowing when to stop.
Bad editing, bad music, bad acting. Zero dynamism, zilch chemistry.
A film that doesn't know what it is, made without any love to some mysterious end that leaves you depressed and feeling kind of angry that so much money was wasted.
The LoG obviously were made an offer they couldn't refuse, or perhaps their egos have simply got the better of them. It's a bleak marketing push that perhaps would have been better when the LoG were fresher and more inspired.
I however, did know when to stop, and did.
Please! Someone try to convince me of this film's finer points!