joost-de-haan Reviews

The Clapper (I) (2017)

The movie doesn't know what it wants to be

[4/10 · 24 November 2022]

This movie doesn't know what it wants to be: Comedy, drama, romance, it's all over the place. The end result is a movie that mostly awkward en surprisingly boring.

If there was to be a moral or if it was supposed to be a mirror of current day society: The movie frustrated me too much for it to stick.

Most (if not all) of the characters are too unlikeable, showing a lack of an actual personality, depth, or in several cases even a functioning brain.

The use of the characters is horrible, several just for some cheap pops, and other vital parts are out of focus as a result. And I don't know if the mom was supposed to be the deus ex machina moment (I don't know if they've thought about it that much), but it's a horrible buildup.

I actually finished watching this.

Fighting with My Family (2019)

Too dumbed down, who is this for, unlikeable, annoying

[5/10 · 8 October 2021]

It has been several months since I saw this movie, but it actually annoyed and still annoys me enough to write this review. Having said that:

The story of the career of Paige is somewhat interesting, so I get why they would turn it into a movie. What I don't get is why it is such an unbalanced selection of events from reality, why it has to be simplified and dumbed down to this extent, and hammed up in other places.

I can ignore the factual errors where timeframes don't match up with the titlebelts that are used in flashbacks, but wrestling is scripted: that's simplified in this movie to "You know the outcome", so that makes me question who this movie is made for. I would think for wrestling fans, but it's so simplified it becomes annoying and the suspension of disbelief required is too much.

There are feuds in wrestling that are built or that have crucial launching moments: Those were there in reality for Paige, but for some reason they aren't this movie, shooting the story in the leg whenever possible.

All these things could have been forgiven if the rest of the movie was solid, but it suffers from a very unlikeable main character; And I'm unsure how much of it is to blame on the actress. She looks bored almost all of the time, even when she's supposed to be angry/sad/confused. And those emotions are only skin deep it seems. What's worse is that she seems to dumb to normally deal with emotions, flipflopping her mindset and motivation several times. Several other characters do this a lot better, making this stick out like a sore thumb even more.

Watch what really happened in WWE over this.

Kickboxer: Vengeance (2016)

This made me appreciate the old one more

[4/10 · 20 July 2021]

The story is thin, but they've made it work poorly in this movie, making the short film feel long. Flashbacks in a fairly uneventful 90 minutes: why.

The slow motions and multiple camera angles instant replays do more bad than good for the fights.

The fake elephant bits were hilariously bad.

At least JCVD seems to be having some fun, and Bautista is cool, but I'm not invested in the main character at all.

The credits are the best thing about this movie.

Luca (2021)

Charming, but lacking

[6/10 · 23 June 2021]

It looks great and oozes charm, but the story failed to capture me. I realize it's a movie for kids and that Disney/Pixar have been doing this for years, but it's a very basic and very predictable tale. Most characters are quite one dimensional or only scratch the surface of an actual personality, flipping between emotions at incredible speed.

The drawings during the credits were all little stories that could have made this a more interesting movie. Now it feels like a stretched out Pixar short.

(I did watch this shortly after seeing Raya, so maybe I was expecting to much).

Undertaking Betty (2002)

Very British, dark humor and hamming it up

[6/10 · 11 September 2019]

Decent film and a clear British style of dark humor. There are some proper actors in there, but the main instruction for them was apparently to exaggerate, but this adds to the overall atmosphere. The Walken storyline is not needed for the story, just like the cooky ending, but it is what makes this film more memorable than it would've been otherwise

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Visually great, okay story, but way overhyped

[6/10 · 11 September 2019]

The style and visuals were a treat, but this movie failed to appeal me on all other points. The story is very unbalanced, filled with awkward cliche's and forced jokes. It's an acceptable movie, and if I could I'd give it half a point more, but the total overhype and ridiculous celebration of this movie made me dust off my IMDB account to leave this review.

Cellular (2004)

yes it is possible

[6/10 · 16 December 2009]

a paradox has been achieved: this movie is extremely mediocre. It's not bad, but it isn't good either. This was the second time I watched the movie, only because it made so little impact on me that I didn't really remember it, and that is because it isn't very memorable. The movie is in this way very much like William H. Macy, and it figures that he's in it.

You will enjoy this movie to if you don't expect anything and even more if (like me) you like to shout things at the TV from time to time like: "Sure, that's what you say/do in that kind of situation!" or "Wow, that is one dumb (son of a) bitch!"

This movie got 6 out of 10 from me, and it has Statham to thank for it. Because he is badass. Like Chuck Norris.

The Spirit (2008)

Eisner is spinning, but I was laughing.

[8/10 · 21 April 2009]

Will Eisner is probably spinning in his grave, this had very little to do with his creation which is quite the achievement seeing the number of different styles used in the past; Spirit's outfit, character histories and the seeing the face of the Octopus, Miller wasn't true on those aspects. But... I did like the movie. It is both a rejuvenation of The Spirit as well as a parody in a way. The simple humor and oneliners combined with the fantastic style make this a great movie, even the mediocre acting adds to the atmosphere of the film. Not a movie I would recommend to die hard Eisner fans, but certainly a stylish action-comedy