u-scum Reviews

Baby Blues (2008 Video)

Once you get past the shock value, it's really a by the numbers affair.

[2/10 · 11 October 2022]

I'll try to include as few spoilers as possible about this film but let me begin with how a lot of other reviews have approached this film. It's either 'daring' and 'bold' or it's 'shocking' and 'depraved'. Both opinions miss the obvious, it's exploitation. Bad exploitation, at that. The true story upon which this is so loosely based on is a very disturbing tale. Instead of treating the subject matter with any respect, the film makers have produced what can be only be described as a very run of the mill stalk and slash horror, the only difference being the victims. This is where we get the 'bold'/'shocking' element. Yes, the children are the victims. Once you get past this, however, the basic horror tropes, the bad telegraphing, terrible dialogue, etc come thick and fast. A few examples being the catapult, the shotgun on the wall, the cornfield, the nail in the barn, the CB reception. I could go on but I think the worst is the quite subtle....the matchbook. When repairing her husband's jeans, the mother finds a matchbook from a strip joint. Although she has been showing some signs of distress, it's this moment that seems to tip her over the edge. Later, we find that the hubbie has just innocently picked up the book of matches from a work colleague, therefore releasing him from any guilt in the events. I could go on but.... In short, once you get past the initial shock value of the victims, it's so run of the mill.

PS. One more horror trope is the tagged on ending which sees the ridiculous premise of the mother possibly coming home because she was mentally ill at the time and she's pregnant. Mmmm.....so the husband can forgive her murdering three kids and a neighbour (and his dog) and attempting to murder his only other child?! FFS.

Mother! (2017)

Modern horror needs to go back and learn some lessons from the past....

[2/10 · 23 June 2021]

Unsubtle allegory isn't big or clever. A quick peruse of the reviews here all seem to focus on this element, for better or worse. I want to point out that the direction was so mundane that it made it almost laughable. Count the number of shots where a roaming camera follows Lawrence around the house, especially those that start from one angle and then circle around. The lack of any steady shots becomes pretty tiresome and, although this 'in the moment' camerawork may be effective from time to time in some movies, drawing you into the moment, two and a half hours worth is just migraine inducing.

La regina degli uomini pesce (1995 TV Movie)

Wonderfully bad!

[7/10 · 21 October 2018]

I want to make more of the points hinted at in the previous reviews. Whereas they see certain things about this movie as a negative, I wish to make it clear that, however tedious some folk may find this, lovers of trash cinema may well find something else here. Yes, it is very sad that Martino stooped this low, but, to be fair, many other directors have done the same over the years (Lucio Fulci, Peter Jackson, etc). What I loved about this barmy pic is that it seems like it was scripted by Alan Partridge, or at least the dubbed version anyway. Yes, there is a fair bit of 'sampled' footage, especially in the first thirty minutes, and the new footage of the fishmen shows either some bad recreations or some costumes degenerated through almost twenty years of storage. No, it's not a high point for Sergio, but I enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. The only thing it did lack was a proper helping of sleaze but I believe it was made for TV so make do with some casual racism and inappropriate teenage love.

Red to Kill (1994)

Even after all these years...

[8/10 · 26 July 2009]

...it still manages to shock! I just re-watched this film as it's been nearly 8 years or so since I last saw it. Yes, it's exploitational but it also has moments of pure genius! Okay, maybe not genius but it's not a film to be written of as pure exploitation so easily. Reading the other reviews that have gone, I realise that maybe I am the only one who had forgotten about the 'dirty' shower scene (which again left me wincing like the first time). The scene that stuck with me is the ending as it is so un-'Hollywood'. No victim who had suffered so much would be allowed to die like that in a Western film...at least, none spring to mind. Originally, I did laugh at this scene myself but I wonder if it was more out of shock and just being overwhelmed by the melodrama of it all. And that is the word that has been missing from all the reviews so far, melodrama! I think it's the OTT nature of the drama that sets this apart from other 'nasty' movies. The acting seems to be pretty good (tho' my subbed version is ropey too XD ) but I say this because when you look at, say, 'Mermaid in a Manhole' even the language barrier doesn't hide the poor acting! Final point...about the music. I noticed one user complaining about it but personally I loved the 80s electronica vibe to it. Reminded me of all the Italian exploits TBH. I will agree with another user's comments tho'...this is not a date movie unless you're dating some sick little monkey! :D