waldoborolibby Reviews

Sitting in Bars with Cake (2023)

Stinks on Ice.

[1/10 · 9 September 2023]

Don't watch Sitting in Bars with Cakes (2023) for Bette Midler cuz she ain't in it. Running an agonizing 120 minutes, Midler is on screen for maybe 5 minutes. Film centers on two young women roommates (actresses I never heard of) who live in LA and work at a music publishing company where they work for Midler. One of them is supposedly studying to the LSAT exams so she can get into law school but she prefers baking cakes. They strike on a lame plan to bake a cake and take it to bars (probably illegal from the get-go ... you trying bringing a cake into a bar or restaurant and passing it around) to meet men.

But the plan gets fouled up when the other one comes down with a brain tumor and can't go barhopping any more. It's a slog from there with the sick one getting sicker and sicker while the friend tends to her .... shades of Beaches! Midler doesn't register at all since she has no part. The only ones who do are the sick one's parents from Phoenix (Martha Kelly, Ron Livingston) who are fine. The cook's parents (both lawyers I think) also get nothing to do. Pretty bad.

Spring Baking Championship (2015– )

Get Rid of Molly

[1/10 · 6 March 2023]

Annoying host. What is she, 12 years old? I'd like to tell her what to do with her sprinkles and cookie salad.

Season 8 also had ridiculous twists in bringing in 2 new bakers after the show started and then bringing back a favorite who had been eliminated already. Then the drama queen with the "anxiety attack" who had to be hauled away. Talk about fake.

The drama queen then underbakes and presents a raw cheesecake and STILL doesn't get dumped. Talk about rigged.

But the real downfall is the phony annoying host who blabs on and on about herself and her fake farm life in Minnesota (she's from Brooklyn) .

Silos Baking Competition (2022– )

Vanity, Oh, Vanity

[1/10 · 23 December 2022]

Vanity production that exists only to front Joanna and Chip in yet ANOTHER TV series on their vanity network.

It's basically just an add for their various various companies.

This was so boring, surprisingly no charm or appeal, no spark, no chemistry amongst the judges or between the judges and contestants.

They must have paid the audience members and promised them all a shot on TV since every single one of them gets shown .... any show that always cuts to the AUDIENCE to signal to the viewer what a good time they should be having is badly conceived and badly directed.

Joanna should stick to her shiplap and wicker and leave the cupcakes to the pros.

Outchef'd (2022– )

Phony

[1/10 · 19 November 2022]

So X thinks he/she is there for an audition at Food Network but is really there for a competition against a superstar. The host then goes on into the New York streets to find judges.

So what do you believe so far? Then it turns out X has to get one of the six judges' votes to win a prize.

A total stranger in a vast kitchen, X always knows where everything is and how everything works. Then when it comes to counting the votes we never see, the first several are ALWAYS for the superstar as the fake countdown goes on. Some win; some don't.

All the superstars feign surprise that the judges are just people off the street. Yeah, right. Everything about this one is PHONY.

One Delicious Christmas (2022)

Bobby Flay Serves Up the Ham

[1/10 · 17 November 2022]

An idyllic destination restaurant gets thrown for a loop when the owner loses her head chef right before Christmas -- their busiest season of the year! Soon, she discovers that a new chef -- and an unexpected romance -- may serve up the best holiday yet....

Even the official blurb can't make this vanity production for Bobby Flay from Food Network sound interesting. Plenty of ham is served up in this white bread production with the usual collection of terrible actors.

Raise your hand if you've ever heard of anyone else in this flaccid story that feels like a high school production out in the barn.

Don't gag on this turkey!

Bobby's Triple Threat (2022– )

Password: Boring

[1/10 · 26 October 2022]

Lame concept and the same chefs we've seen over and over again.

Brooke Williamson again? Really? Along with Tiffani Faison and Antonia Lofaso, they' one every Food Network show. Ditto Voltaggio. Ditto Flay.

Once the judge knows who the cooks are, it's obvious who cooked what.

Cutesy poo "secret club" pretends it's a 1920s speakeasy complete with peephole and password. The "audience" sits around with drinkies (Steve the Bartender) and note that everyone in the audience is in their 20s and 30s. Same for OUTCHE'D.... All the judges "off the street" are in their 20s and 30s.

I guess Food Network is trying to lure younger viewers by pretending it's hip.

Amsterdam (2022)

A Stinker

[1/10 · 17 October 2022]

Dense, confusing mish-mash of a plot with a bunch of hammy stars overacting. What's not to hate?

Billed as a comedy, this mess is about as funny as a mess. I wonder how much money this clam will lose?

The funniest thing was the woman getting pushed under a car. That's how bad this is.

David O. Russell should have to give back his mega-salary for writing and directing this quagmire.

And what's with Christian Bale's teeth?

Funny how the Margot Robbie character doesn't age over a 20 year time span. Did I say funny? It's just the sloppiness of the filmmaking.

Most interesting thing is picking out the name stars.

Budget Battle (2019)

One of the Worst

[1/10 · 15 August 2022]

Nothing about this Food Network show works. Same old thing. New pie-faced host won't help. She has no personality at all.

Yet another variation on CHOPPED. Who needs it?

Chopped: Casino Royale: Finale (2022) Season 51, Episode 6

Rigged

[1/10 · 31 July 2022]

Knew from the getgo who would win. Same winner of the beachside brawl which also featured Tiffani Faison. Funny it was never mentioned that she had won Chopped when she was on the brawl show, or that she had won the brawl before she was on chopped.

She was not presented as a competition chef who had already won a Food Network show. On both shows she presented herself as a poor petal who had lost her parents. Totally fake.

Beachside Brawl (2022– )

Lousy

[1/10 · 28 July 2022]

Funny how they didn't bother to mention that Keleena was a Chopped champion. That pretty much set up the rig from the get-go.

The implicationwas that the competing chefs were just local chefs working in restaurants, not professional competitive chefs.

The Great Food Truck Race: San Diego Showdown (2022) Season 15, Episode 8

Rigged from the getgo

[1/10 · 27 July 2022]

Notice in the finale, there was no total amount listed. What did the sales receipts total? We'll never know.

The girls were the "hometown' favorite from the getgo and clearly had the hometown advantage. If you're going to film a competition in the LA area, you shouldn't have teams from LA competing with teams from out of state.

They knew the roads and neighborhoods and had an active social media network to draw on.

RIGGED.

A Tear in the Sky (2022)

Lies in the Skies

[1/10 · 19 July 2022]

Worthless "treasure hunt" show like all those awful TV shows on the History Channel and Discover.

A bunch of scientists set up equipment on rooftops in Laguna Beach and Catalina and show us dots of light they film and track but they never tells what they are ... only what they think they might perhaps be.

William Shatner appears for no reason as he has nothing to do with the "scientific search." Nor does the annoying hostess.

Lots of graphs and charts and instruments ... but no substance. Why this was released as a "documentary" is anyone's guess.

Me or the Menu (2022– )

Worst Show I Ever Seen

[1/10 · 30 June 2022]

A new low for Food Network in this reality TV series about a bunch of unlikable people fighting and arguing about opening restaurants and food trucks.

The first couple from Illinois is especially unlikable. I wouldn't work for that shrieking woman for 5 minutes.

Mum (2016–2019)

Seen One? Seen Them All

[1/10 · 28 June 2022]

Good cast trapped in a plot that never changes. Regardless of the "theme" of the episode, it's the same thing over and over again what with the annoying girlfriend, oldsters, etc. Lesley Manville is a terrific actress but there's nothing going on here.

There's a slacker son (Sam Swainsbury) and his annoying girlfriend (Lisa McGrillis) and a reluctant suitor (Peter Mullan). I never figured out the relationship of the other hangers-on, but they're all annoying too.

Talk about a show about nothing.

As Time Goes By: Reunion Special: Part 2 (2005) Season 10, Episode 2

Absolutely Terrible

[1/10 · 28 May 2022]

A "reunion" show that brings all the surviving cast members in 2005 and stupidly adds a red herring of a Black son from Kenya. But what's the point? The 2-part episode goes nowhere.

Perhaps they planned on more "reunions" so this one just ends ... with no resolution to anything and no finale. The cast members simply walk away to get tea while Dench and Palmer sit there in the ER. That's it!

Forced and badly executed, Sadly, this would be the last appearance by Frank Middlemass.

The Julia Child Challenge (2022– )

The Dead Fish Is Livelier

[1/10 · 23 March 2022]

Boring cooking competition that uses Julia Child as an "inspiration," but it's just a rip-off of Child's name and reputation. But I'm sure the Julia Child Foundation made some money on this.

The most boring collection of cooks I've ever seen on a Food Network shows "compete" by making dishes that really have nothing to do with Julia Child. Example: Julia used wine in her fish stew. Make us a meal in which you use wine. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

There's more time spent on the contestants yapping about themselves than there is on cooking. Antonia Lofaso (host) and two guest judges ooze on about Julia Child and have a "family" dinner at a big table where everyone is forced to eat the food. Raw salmon? Raw chicken? NO THANKS!

I guessed in the first 5 minutes of episode 1 that Bill B. Would be the winner since he sells cookware. Stay tuned .... I won't.

Swan Song (I) (2021)

BORING AS HELL

[1/10 · 18 December 2021]

This one has Mahershala Ali as a dying man in the near future. But because it's the future, his oncologist (Glenn Close) signs him up for a program whereby he's replicated atom for atom. All that needs be done is to transfer his memory into the clone. But because this is all secret stuff, his wife and son will never know the clone has taken over while daddy stays behind at Close's clinic (somewhere in Alaska?) to die. Once the transfer has been done, the clone is de-programmed and so will never remember he's a clone.

Gee. What could go wrong?

Ali gives a solid performance but the pacing is glacial and ultimately it's just plain boring.

Candy Coated Christmas (2021 TV Movie)

If This Doesn't Make You Puke, Nothing Will

[1/10 · 15 December 2021]

Gag-worthy in all respects. Pie-faced Ree Drummond, the phony "pioneer woman" from Food Network makes her "acting" debut in this wretched concoction that must be aimed at moribund residents in nursing homes who can't get out of the TV room. They don't deserve it.

Fool's Paradise (1921)

DeMille Hokum

[1/10 · 6 October 2021]

This DeMille hokum drags on and on and on. And given the hammy acting of Dorothy Dalton, Mildred Harris and Theodore Kosloff, it's truly painful. Truly painful.

When all else fails, DeMille builds over-the-top spectacle to distract from the weak story line and to pad the film and make it longer than it needs to be.

The only saving grace here is Conrad Nagel's underacting. DeMille had a penchant for these exotic female types which he assumes allows the likes of Harris and Dalton to ham it up with every gesture prolonged and exaggerated.

WOOF WHAT A DOG!

Buddy vs. Christmas (2020– )

GAGOLA

[1/10 · 24 December 2020]

Easily the most unlikable person on Food Network (edging out Jeff Mauro). This Buddy thug scowls and grumps his way through these fake "contests." He sneers and throws temper tantrums. Who wants to watch this crap and his childish antics? Not me, said the little red hen!

Beaches (2017 TV Movie)

Total Garbage

[1/10 · 22 June 2020]

If this one doesn't make you puke, nothing will. There's not a grain of talent in the entire cast.

The Kitchen (I) (2014– )

Screaming Mimis

[1/10 · 19 January 2020]

Loud, annoying, and phony show with 4 or 5 co-hosts screaming to be heard over each other.

The chit-chat is inane and the food is, for the most park, gross. I doubt anyone gets very many recipes off this show to try at home.

Katie Lee is sort of a zero while Sunny Anderson is way over the top. Geoffrey Zakarian is snarky and Jeff Mauro is repulsive.

Zakarian is from Worcester but always says he's from Boston. He ain't. Mauro is sort of a giant-sized Peewee Herman without the talent. He spends the time gooning for the camera and is always watching to see if is "on."

Unpleasant waste of TV space.

Home Town (2016– )

Rural Ugly

[1/10 · 31 December 2019]

OK, so the hosts are OK, not annoying like so many are on the "fix it up" shows on HGTV. But their taste in decor and the quality of their work are way be low par.

So maybe it's a southern Mississippi vision in doing up all the houses like they are old barns with clunky wood, "luxury" vinyl floors, and baskets, but they all look alike to me.

More alarming is the questionable work. I've yet to see them scrape down a painted house before spraying on a new paint color. A lot of their tile work utilizes cheap web-backed mosaic tile and sloppy groat work. Same with a lot of their woodwork. Bad seams and jaggy corners are just left as is.

And I've yet to see a person of color on this show. I guess it's shot in the all-white part of Mississippi.

Cats (2019)

$95M Bomb

[1/10 · 20 December 2019]

They spent a whopping $95M on this crap. Tuneless musical based on a Broadway show and starring computer generated fur stuck around the faces and bodies of some actors singing too loudly. The original choreography was dumped in favor of what the CGI could produce.

The major critics have all lambasted this bomb and the awards season has pretty much ignored it. Even Judi Dench couldn't squeeze a good mention out of any of them.

Critics have said the sets are ugly and the CGI flying bodies go all blurry. Even the close-ups of singers, faces framed in CGI fur, go all wonky if they move. It's like a series of auditions in close-up or even worse, cat night at your local karaoke bar.

Most of the actors are (blessedly) unrecognizable but Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson, James Corden, Taylor Swift, and Ray Winstone are all in this back-ally mess.

Good Bones (2016–2023)

Phony Beyond Belief

[1/10 · 10 November 2019]

Terrible show with this mother-daughter team who do nothing. They pose and talk. Now and then they pretend to swing a hammer or paint a knicknack. In one show they made a hideous headboard out of a window and a dress.

Mostly they stand around talking endlessly and watching the guys work. This is the worst of the fixer upper shows on HGTV.

And Indianapolis must be one of the UGLIEST cities I ever saw. The houses all look like they're on 25-ft-wide lots!