dradford-35033 Reviews

Interview with the Vampire: Do You Know What It Means to Be Loved by Death (2024) Season 2, Episode 2

One of the best things I have seen in a long time.

[10/10 · 24 May 2024]

It is rare to see all things click into place, but this episode is a perfect example when excellent writing, acting, music, et al come together. It's far better than nearly anything I've seen for a long time. And the "Everything you're about to see is real..." speech so chilling I had to watch it twice in a row. Still unsettled as I write this. Toxic, reflective, grotesque, awe-inspiring. Okay, I've kinda said all I want, just want people to watch the episode, because I liked it very much and the Santiago guy nearly made me soil myself. Also, dysfunctional relationships, yeah they nailed it. And done.

New Rose Hotel (1998)

Walken and Defoe in an industrial espionage thriller! What's not to like? Plenty actually.

[3/10 · 26 November 2023]

I found this movie and thought it might be a hidden gem that was lost in the passage of time. With all their successes it wouldn't be hard to imagine a minor classic that was overshadowed by the careers of Christopher Walken and Willam Defoe's other work might actually be very plausible. And for the first 40 some minutes this movie had a lot of potential. But then, almost without warning, the movie completely evaporated. Instead of a taught thriller, it ended up playing out like some convoluted arthouse experimental film. It became very clear, after seeing Christopher Walken in the same outfit in every scene that the filmmakers had him for a very limited time and tried to squeeze the most of his schedule. And what do you do with a film where you don't have a concrete ending and your star's schedule not allowing you to complete the picture in its entirety? Well, this film maker gave of loads of gratuitous sex scenes between Defoe and a very young Asia Argento, with many lingering shots of Willam Defoe's rear-end. The last 20 minutes of the movie is a mish-mash of strange montages and flashbacks that don't amount to anything. And finally, when the credits rolled I literally asked out loud, "that's it?" Nothing is paid off, no questions are answered in any satisfactory way. I still have no real grasp of what happened. All in all, a waste.

Dual (2022)

Poingent and captivating

[9/10 · 20 November 2022]

I always planned on watching this movie but put it off for a long time. Finally I had the opportunity and now regret not watching this sooner. It was extremely thought provoking and exceptionally deep. The flat monotone delivery of the dialog by all the actors was initially a little jarring, but, when juxtaposed to the intense emotional moments it made both a lot more impactful. The concept seemed a little gimmicky at first and I was expecting something a little more simply darkly comic, and even though it delivers on its promise of dark comedy it goes beyond to provide a prospective about existence and what it means to live, to be alive, and most importantly how to live. The exploration of what makes a life worth living and how a life that, on the surface seems normal and mundane, can actually be nearly worse than the prospect of dying. The question of fighting for a life that you question is even worth living is at the heart of this film and the subtle and nuanced exploration of this question really hits home. I wasn't expecting this movie to be so thoughtful and artfully delivered. I'm impressed and delightfully surprised.

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

Simply not worth the hype.

[2/10 · 4 October 2022]

Aside from being boring, convoluted, and poorly paced/directed, what else can you say about a movie that is simply an unoriginal rehashing of the Stepford Wives? Anyone paying attention for the first few minutes of the movie would easily see that this movie has the same tone and tenor as many, many, many, many other movies. And because of its lack of originality, any "profound" message that it tries to convey gets lost in the shuffle. This ISN'T anything we haven't already seen before, and in most cases done much, much better. This movie's "twist" is easily ferreted out in the movie's trailer, and if you are like me, who was willing to give the film a fair shot, all the mystery is drained out almost immediately. If you were sitting at a pitch meeting for this movie all you'd have to say is "it's like if The Stepford Wives meets The Matrix." If this movie was supposed to espouse some sort of grand social commentary it fails so badly it's almost laughable.

The people who greenlit this mishegoss and actually provided the funding for it must have been so entranced by Olivia Wilde that they let all semblance of common sense slip away. Basically, it's like when the stereotypical new hot girl comes to a party and tries to pass off some commonplace philosophical concept as new and original and no one wants to let them know that their "deep musings" are already well established and/or insipid because they don't want her to feel bad and leave. I mean, let's not split hairs here, Olivia Wilde is prototypically beautiful and that is one of the main problems, because she is very attractive no one had the guts to tell her to her face that her grand idea and vision have "been there done that" many times over and better.

And Ms. Wilde's direction is uneven, slow, amateurish, and worst of all doesn't get the most out of the talent on the screen. I have a feeling that the actors in this movie, read the script, came to the same conclusion that I came to, and said to themselves, "sure it's a paycheck, I get to dress in fancy clothes, I get to hang out with other young attractive people on set all-day, and its shooting close to LA so I don't have to leave my home whilst shooting. Why not?" And that is the level of performance you get from the actors in this mess. It is safe to say that there wasn't one "twist" that wasn't telegraphed heavily or just simply obvious from the start. With all the hype around this movie and the "important and significant" message it was trying to say, it all falls flat. It isn't profound, insightful, or even interesting. It's something we've seen and heard over and over again.

God's Favorite Idiot (2022)

Oh ugh, I really wanted to like this.

[3/10 · 15 June 2022]

Unfortunately, this is the same set up and delivery that we've seen time and time again from McCarthy and Falcone. It worked in movies like, Tammy or the Heat or The Boss. But the charm has diminished over the years and it just seems repetitive and derivative. Its a shame when you see one trick ponies like Mike Meyers and Melissa McCarthy try to stretch out a single humorous joke to the point of exhaustion.

The Outfit (2022)

Simple perfection

[9/10 · 8 May 2022]

It is a true rarity and pleasure to watch a film that is uses nothing but the total craft of filmmaking to create a wonderful tapestry of visual storytelling. Using only one location, the strength of the acting, and and intelligent spellbinding script director Graham Moore assembles a spectator piece of cinema with the same sophistication and attention to detail as Mark Rylance's character Leonard Burling would do assembling a suit. A work of caution, this is not a movie where you can afford to be distracted, I caught myself rewinding sections because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything and I guarantee knowing what I know now I'll have to watch it more than a few times to pick up on everything. Highly recommend.

The Pentaverate (2022)

Old tired bored gags with nothing original

[4/10 · 7 May 2022]

I am a huge Mike Myers fan and I wanted so desperately to like this. But, unfortunately, in the end it's just a rehash of old jokes that he recycles from the 90s. I guess there's supposed to be some deeper message but it gets lost under a heap of mixed signals and repetitive "jokes" that don't really land. It is at the same time preachy and heavy handed as it tries to be zany and madcap. It's a combination that falls flat.

The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On (2022– )

Like car accidents? Then this is your show.

[10/10 · 10 April 2022]

Boy howdy. It would be easy to give this show a 1/10 if you rate it on the people in the show alone, because nearly ALL of these cry baby lunatics are truly deplorable. But if you watch it with the intention of exploring the completely malformed psyches of the 20 somethings that are walking the streets today then you won't find a better show. I wanted to hate this show, I wanted to not be able to bear a second of the vapid, insipid pseudo intellectual musings of self absorbed morons, but then something brilliant happened. I found myself drawn in and watching with the same mode that I would a Ben Stiller cringe comedy, the likes of "Meet the Parents" or "Something about Mary." It's a feast of watching selfish self absorbed people with virtually zero self awareness try to convince themselves that they are ready for a lifetime commitment to each other. It's a hysterical, laugh a minute slow motion train wreck. And the fact that some of these morons think that they're ready for the responsibility hey of having children makes this feel like this show is teetering on tragedy. Don't get me wrong, there are three kids who don't complete suck, in particular a guy named Randall. With some more experience and maturity under his belt he will make a fine addition to the real world, but he is the only one that can even remotely articulate how he actually feels, what he wants and his rationale behind his beliefs. But watching him to to relate to a bunch of immature spoiled cry babies makes the shows cringe factor reach all new heights of hilarity. ALL and I mean ALL of these people NEED and would be better served with intense therapy than wasting nearly two whole months on a reality tv show is evident. How these people function and are able to hold down employment of any kind is incomprehensible. But enough. Watch it and enjoy how your life can't be anymore messed up than These peoples.

Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn (2021)

Pointless and aimless

[2/10 · 27 March 2022]

This movie starts with a lurid porn scene that's cut short by a paywall that says if you want to see more you have to pay for a subscription. Normally, if this were to occur to anyone they would simply click away. But in this instance you can't and if you choose to keep watching you are forced to endure nearly six full minutes of the sounds of a couple engaged in coitus whilst the message wall still lingers soliciting you to pay. Then the next literal HALF an hour more is the camera following what I guess is the protagonist around a city, for seriously no discernible reason. She goes from one place to the next with these long tracking shots that linger on this or that. For minutes and minutes at a time the camera just pulls focus on a billboard, or a sign, or an item on a shelf and we just wait around until the next random cut is made and the process starts again. I kept thinking, while at least I have the good fortune to be watching this one HULU so at the minimum I can get up and get myself something to drink or go to the bathroom or play on my phone while this endless boredom plays out on screen. I couldn't imagine having to endure this mess in a movie theater, because movies like this beg to be walked out on. The nonsensical tracking shots of the scenery around the city give way to random conversations by inconsequential characters talking about nothing that do nothing to move the action along. And then after those pointless scenes are done we're back at watching this woman walk around town talking on her phone having conversations that are absent of context. In sum it feels like the film makers were given really expensive film making equipment and we're just instructed to walk around the city and film stuff. And then one of the filmmakers asked "what should we shoot, shouldn't there be a plot or central character of some kind?" And they kind of just agreed and said, "hey how about a woman in a business casual suit." "Sure, okay, what's her story?" "I don't know, we'll make it up as we go, because we don't know how long they're gonna let us keep this equipment so let's just start shooting stuff. Lots of stuff. And then later we can try to piece it together in the editing." Basically they have a whole bunch of second unit stuff, then BOOM, a documentary happens out of no where about the Romanian army, and random crap. Then random shots of stuff, a blond joke with a naked woman being chased by a dude on a cow mask. It's absurd to the point where it is almost comical but not quite.

Deep Water (I) (2022)

Laughably obtuse

[2/10 · 22 March 2022]

With a curiosity normally reserved for car crashes I willed myself to sit through this bizarre and completely unrealistic tale of an impossible cuckold (Ben Affleck? Really? Movie star Ben Affleck) and his flagrantly unfaithful wife. When watching this obvious train wreck of a couple you have to ask yourself over and over again, is any of this even close to being believable? Short answer, no. Nope. Not even close. Impossible. This movie doesn't so much as break any suspension of disbelief as it runs it over and over again with a semi.

*Spoilers now follow*. Trust me, if you read any further you won't be at all surprised.

She cheats openly, then he murders the guys she's cheating with in obvious easy to figure out ways. Here's the thing, if ALL the men she's having affairs with die then it obvious who must be killing then. At one point a friend of mine who was suffering through this with me says, "why doesn't he just leave her?" And she was so obviously right that anyone and I mean anyone with a half functional brain would think the same thing. None of the couples friends, who know that she's messing around on him, would blame him for leaving. And why not divorce? I mean he, apparently, is extremely wealthy and has powerful connections so a divorce would be a breeze. Especially if any one of his friends were to testify that she was an adulterer. No one in this movie, save the couple's adorable daughter, is even remotely sympathetic. Every character is a vapid, insipid, shallow idiot. When Ben Affleck's character murders someone I'm couldn't care less. And when she throws his face in every dalliance, I kept thinking, she's not even worth it. She attractive, sure, but she's vacant and not at all charming. Aside from her sex appeal there's little else to her. She's not fun, nice, warm, friendly, charming. She's like a robot sex doll. And Affleck kind of just sleep walks through this movie. He stares blankly at everything and everyone. You can't get a bead on how he feels about what's going on. And if he's so dispassionate and unaffected by his wife's infidelity then why does he kill anyone of his wife's sexual partners? And if what's she's doing is humiliating and soul crushing then why doesn't he just call it quits? And if these questions keep getting asked over and over again then the big question is, why would anyone want to keep watching this? I did. I know, but in my defense it was in two sittings and I had nearly forgotten what I was watching until I turned it on again. If it weren't out of complete morbid curiosity and the thought that there would be some sort of unique twist ending where she was actually murdering her lovers and he was helping cover up her crimes because she had dirt on him that could put him away and keep him from his daughter that'd be something. Of if he was killing these guys with plans to frame his unfaithful wife, that too would be interesting. But just to have her be a narcissistic femme fatale and him be a douchey inept murderer isn't much of anything. Do yourself a favor and just don't even start.

Calm Like a Bomb (2021)

Taking "show, don't tell" to an absurd degree.

[1/10 · 9 January 2022]

After five minutes I was thinking that the shaky camera and jarring edits were going to sink this film, but, boy-howdy, was I wrong. When a full ten minutes came and went and not one word of dialog was spoken I thought my Fire Stick was glitching. Nope, the Fire Stick was fine and Amazon wasn't dropping the audio either. There simply was NO DIALOGUE. I get the concept of trying to show the audience what is going on and have them piece it together, but holy cow, this was not the way to execute it. It was tedious to watch and try to infer what was going on. And, I'll admit, if I didn't haven't read the description of the movie I think I would've been even more lost. I mean, I don't normally like to criticize, but I can't help myself with this misfire. It wasn't only a waste of a strange gimmick but it also was hard to watch thanks to the constant shifting in perspective and quick edits that constantly yank you around. Pass on this, even if it does have a cool title and an interesting concept.

Reno 911!: The Hunt for QAnon (2021 TV Movie)

Just felt a tired retread...

[2/10 · 9 January 2022]

As a huge fan of Reno 911 this just felt tired and uninspired. Every joke was telegraphed from a mile away and fell flat. It was all really phoned in and boring.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Welcome back!

[9/10 · 24 November 2021]

This is how it should've been done from the start. A perfect passing of the torch that pays respect to the past while at the same time setting up a bright future. A little slow at the beginning but the last 40 minutes more than make up for an exposition heavy first 2/3. Definitely recommend and gonna head back for a second viewing in theaters soon.

Shivers Down Your Spine (2015)

Neither scary or funny

[1/10 · 27 October 2021]

I'm always into giving low budget indie films are given a chance. In this case that was my mistake. The jokes fell flat and the scares never materialized. I mean kudos on the full frontal nudity, but seriously? Need more than lame jokes and flashes of naked women to make a movie.

Foundation (2021– )

In name only

[2/10 · 30 September 2021]

Very little of the actual Foundation can be seen in this interpretation. The books are, admittedly, a little confusing, but in my opinion are much more engaging. There is a layer of mysticism and religious overtones in this interpretation that aren't in the text that make it less interesting and more convoluted to watch. The visuals and scale are good, but that is what this show is really, style over substance. Just realize you are not watching Asimov's work if you're watching this.

See (2019–2022)

If they're blind....?

[1/10 · 28 August 2021]

I pretty much spoiled this show for my friends two minutes into the first episode, all with one question. If they're blind...? If they're blind, how do they build structures? If they're blind how do they know how to stitch clothing? If they're blind why do they wear ornaments on their clothes? If they're blind how did the midwife at the beginning of the first episode know to put a guiding rope where she did? If they're blind? If they're blind? If they're blind. There is an age old saying, "if you buy the premise you can buy the bit." And if you can get around a whole civilian that CAN'T SEE then I guess this show is for you. But I couldn't possibly push that question out of my head, so this show became...unwatchable (pardon the pun).

Army of the Dead (2021)

Did they just not know how to end this?

[2/10 · 23 May 2021]

This movie started out pretty good. The first 20 minutes built the world and characters just fine, but then...(okay spoilers)

Pretty much everything after the team cracks the safe and gets the money it all falls apart, not just the plan but the entire movie itself. The lead characters daughter, for absolutely no good reason, just leaves to find someone who there is absolutely no reason, time or resources to save. Propelling EVERYTHING, to collapse. This makes the final third act a complete and utter waste of time. And I'm all for ridiculous action set pieces but the sheer lunacy of the last twenty or so minutes of the movie defy completely credulity to the point where it completely takes the viewer out of any Investement they might have made and shatters any suspension of disbelief. Characters inexplicably betray each other. Plans that seem like major twists, after a brief second examination, leave the audience wondering why? Why? I spent the last fifteen minutes just thinking, why? Do yourself a favor, if you still want to watch this film, just lower your expectations to the pony where you can just say, "oh cool another shootout." If you do that, then maybe you'll have a decent time.

The Undoing (2020)

Anticlimactic

[3/10 · 6 April 2021]

At first this show was captivating and thoroughly entertaining. The performances of both Hugh Grant and Nicole Kidman were noteworthy. The tone, pacing and credulity of the story were well done. I was fully engaged and invested, right up until the last fifteen minutes of the final episode. Then the entire show went from a thought provoking "who done it" to a melodramatic, unrealistic soap opera. To say I was nonplussed would be an understatement. To not be spoiled read no further.

Stop, seriously....don't go any further.

Okay, so Hugh Grants character was the murder all along. Normally we would brand this ending as predictable but it was so far from interesting that it actually loops around from being way too obvious to not obvious to way too obvious again. I guess the goal was to provide awareness of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but for someone like me, who has seen true NPD in real life, Grants portrayal of it, in the end, came across as shallow and more of a character than genuine. And after episode after episode of waiting to see a twist or some mind blowing finale that would make for a satisfying close. It was just a lame, abrupt and flat conclusion that renders the entire experience anticlimactic.

Down and Derby (2005)

Root canals are less painful

[1/10 · 14 December 2019]

I once watched a documentary on the killing fields in Cambodia and actually felt less depressed after watching that than this pile of unadulterated drivel. About a third of the way through I thought, why. Then about two thirds through I asked myself, how. By the end, after nearly suffering chronic spasms after having cringed so much, I finally gave up trying to make sense of this abandoned homeless shelter fire and tried to revive the part of me that had slowly died inside. When Lauren Holly exited the picture, there was literally NOTHING left that could salvage this movie, not even the cameo of the late great Pat Morita (RIP Miogi).