BonesMacenz Reviews

Arctic Void (2022)

Waste of Time

[2/10 · 20 May 2024]

The Trailer is completely misleading. It portrays the movie as something either supernatural or sci-fi. As the story builds, it attempts to build tension around a great mystery. The mystery is not revealed, it could be supernatural, sci-fi, extra-terrestrial.

I started to become skeptical half way through the movie. The plot bumbled along not revealing anything relevant. This is just poor/lazy writing - the audience is presented with a mystery early on. But nothing is significantly revealed or eluded to throughout 90% of the movie. Just filler after filler after filler.

Then... the big secret is revealed. At this point, the bored audience probably figured out what most of the big mystery is about. They also have probably figured out the ending, yep. Spot on.

This movie is an unimaginative waste of time. The entire movie could have been compressed into a 20 minute Twilight Zone episode (not even a good TZ episode either).

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Lazy, Lacking Imagination

[4/10 · 24 April 2024]

Where it failed spectacularly was in both the story line and originality. I had a hard time buying into the plot of a small, medieval farming village with a small band of rebels going to war against an advanced, planet destroying tyrant overlord. 9/10's of the story is missing. The Rebel Moon story is too simplistic, like the writers were too lazy to build a universe with factions, allies, and all the other ingredients you need for a good underdog story.

There's very little imagination. Rebel Moon relies too much on CGI in an attempt to dazzle viewers. The costumes were dreadful. The antagonists are literally dressed like WWII German fascists, right down to 40's era neckties and suspenders. The Dreadnaught Class Star Destroyer looks remarkably similar to a WWII era submarine. Fantastical beasts on different worlds are just horses with a goofy helmet. And different species are ripped right from other movies, like an alien race whiich are just Orcs who stepped off the LOTR set, and another species which is nearly identical to.the Twi'lek in the Star Wars franchise.

Not sure what Netflix's goal is. Rebel Moon is a lazy, bare minimum effort film that pretty much rips off other films. It uses too much CGI in an attempt to trick viewers they are watching a premium Hollywood film. It's a modern Spaghetti Western where it's cheap, easy to produce, and its only goal is to make a quick buck.

Fall (I) (2022)

Great Thrills, Bad Writing

[8/10 · 6 April 2024]

The movie provided a lot of thrills and tense moments. Climbing a 2000 foot abandoned, rusty tower, what could possibly go wrong? The aerial shots were terrifying and how the movie was filmed was well done. They filmed it on an actual tower built on a mountain and it looked real using trick cameras angles. I was white knuckling through half the movie. My stomach was fluttering and glad for pauses between action scenes in order to settle down.

The dialogue was terrible and some of the events were poorly written. There were a few things that took away enjoyment, like an iPhone battery that last days (hmmm...) , and I don't recommend putting your phone charger in a light socket when a plug is not available. You can simply trace the lamp cord to a socket and use the plug instead of risking blowing a fuse and electrocuting yourself. And for heaven's sake, never eat raw vulture. Ever. Fall 2 will be about the life and death struggle against 22 strains of deadly bacteria while in a coma. And I couldn't believe how poorly prepared they were for the climb. No gloves, Van's sneakers, backpack flung over one shoulder, didn't tell anyone where they were going, etc. There were quite a few bad ideas in the film.

OK, aside from the bad story, I highly recommend this movie just for the thrills. That part was done exceptionally well and worth the ride.

Knuckleball (II) (2018)

Great Indie Movie, Very Well Done

[8/10 · 13 February 2024]

The movie was much better than I expected. I would have loved to see it in a theater with strangers. It ranks up there with big name thriller and horror movies. Better than most actually.

The story sets an ominous and mysterious atmosphere right from the start. Henry (Luca Villacis) does a great job at being the All American suburban kid.

The first act is low key as the story sets, and builds tension and mystery. You might realize that something's not quite right, but nothing out of bounds yet.

Then in a twist the story almost instantly goes from ominous to sinister, tense and violent. And as things are happening, the story is still unfolding and being revealed. You won't get the whole story until the end.

Overall, it's a wild ride.

There are some mistakes in the film, but nothing that actually spoils the story.

Coming Home in the Dark (2021)

Not the Thriller Most Would Expect

[2/10 · 17 January 2024]

What a terrible movie. Artists should have freedom to create what they want. Which also means viewers have freedom to like it or not.

This is not a thriller in my opinion. It's a story about two mentally disturbed remorseless killers who brutally murder anyone in their path. There are no thrilling moments, just senseless acts of violence.

The veneer of one of the murderers being learned and jovial wears is extremely annoying after a while. As does the music score which is just a pathetic attempt at juxtaposition.

I'm not a criminal expert, and I seriously doubt these two killers would survive in the public, being able to hold down jobs and stay on the good side of the law. Just by their mental problems, they would not be able to function in society and their dysfunctional behavior and criminal tendencies would naturally keep them behind bars or in an institution.

And like some other people pointed out, the story is pointless in the end. It's just a movie about two people enacting their mentally ill fantasies of murdering people.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Complete Waste of Time

[2/10 · 8 December 2023]

This movie is pretentious right from the start. The kitschy intro with edgy rap and piano music seemed like a multiple personality complex from the get-go. Can the viewer expect a thriller or an artsy experiment? Clearly the latter in this "cerebral" apocalyptic snoozefest. Probably a tax write-off for the big name actors in it.

The piano and synth music is enough to make you cringe. It's ripped right out of a 60's B creature feature soundtrack. Which is perfectly acceptable if you're watching a 60's B creature feature. Then to mix it with a secondary soundtrack of rap and the Friends theme song is actually a federal offense.

The characters, despite being portrayed by award winning actors, were thin and forgettable. The story wasn't much better. Riddled with unbelievable and unrealistic scenarios. Just dumb random acts of chaos tossed here and there, I guess in order to break up the monotony of watching the characters discuss things at a table and drink endless cocktails. Total lack of thrill and suspense.

And almost 2 1/2 hours later comes the highly anticipated ending with the big reveal. And shortly thereafter, the big let down. You, the viewer, have been duped. The big reveal, without spoiling it, is insanely oversimplified and completely misunderstood. I think a writer was reading Sun Tzu's "Art of War" one day and discovered a cost effective way to destroy first world nations.

The animal behavior, physics, Tesla logistics, human psychology, it's all incorrectly portrayed and simply ridiculous. For example, the movie makes it clear that there are few to no people within miles of where are hapless family is vacationing. So why would a foreign military remote fly a drone all the way out to a rural farm country to drop propaganda pamphlets in the middle of crop fields? Maybe the pilot mistook corn stalks for millions of people. I don't know. For all we know, the Arabic propaganda wasn't propaganda at all, but advertisements for Opening Night of an Arabian Nights musical put on by the local high school theater club.

Don't waste your time on this one. Might be better off in a modern art gallery than a TV screen.

Bodies (2023)

Nice Filming, Score, and Performances, Dull

[3/10 · 6 November 2023]

Despite the high quality filming, lighting, and musical score, the series is dull and repetitive. It provides nothing new to the time traveling genre and fails in all four story lines at creating anything meaningful or particularly memorable.

It seemed there was too much effort put into trying to tie four timelines together. It seemed clumsy, two dimensional, and uncreative. The Graphic Novel may have done a better job at this that the script writers. Though I have not read the book.

Slap a track suit on a snail and we're off to the races as the plot just plodded along.

The 2023 timeline seemed the most realistic and easiest to buy into. The 1890 set were clearly just modern day actors who dressed up as old time characters and tried to pull it off. The 1941 set was abysmal - it was stereotypical and unrealistic. No research or respect was given to WWII era London. Not sure who designed the future story set. The Police Officer seems to toggle between foot soldier/beat cop/detective to fit whatever part is needed to make the story work. Pick one. Not sure how the officer landed a 5 star penthouse apartment with a premium view.

One thing stands out, and I've noticed this before. The phrase "Genre Bending" might be better translated into "Doesn't really excel at any given genre".

And the final episode and a half, I didn't bother with. Just didn't care about the ending. Pretty much had it all figured out and spoilers confirmed that I did. It just is not an engaging series.

Carnifex (2022)

Boring, Frustrating

[2/10 · 26 September 2023]

I'm not sure what Universal Films was thinking. This movie was poorly executed and boring. I had to opt out 20 minutes from the end, that's how insulting it was.

First, nobody wants to fire up a scary creature feature only to be preached at by environmental fanatics. After watching Carnifex, I am now an expert on species relocation due to wildfires and human greed.

Second, it was boring. 56 minutes into the movie, we finally get a glimpse of "The Carnifex". And it looked like a killer, carnivorous sloth (man in a hair suit) to me. The first 2/3rd's of the movie was just watching three people camp and duck at swooping birds (cheap attempts at jump scares).

By this point, I just wished the monster would just do something, anything. It's just a bad movie that doesn't realize it's a bad movie.

I just expected more from a Universal movie. The acting was good, which is the only thing separating "Carnifex" from a SyFy movie. Though SyFy usually contain more action.

Bird Box: Barcelona (2023)

Very Disappointing

[2/10 · 24 July 2023]

Was really looking forward to another Bird Box movie. Bird Box Barcelona was simply awful and a huge let down.

Overall, I felt like it was a complete failure at storytelling. The audience does not need to see a monster or adversary for them to be terrifying... If the story is told well. What the audience got was cardboard characters and repetitive, meaningless action scenes.

And the movie is so elusive about what the monster is, I lost total interest in trying to figure it out. They writers will never tell you. And they make it quite clear that the monster is elusive, nobody knows it's true nature or motives, nobody knows what it looks like, and it's harmless in its physical form. OK, so the monster is a non-monster? Or are they trying to be clever and the monster just represents irrational fears? Boring and lazy is how I see it.

There are bad movies that are fun to watch regardless. Then there are bad movies that are just bad, don't know that they are bad, and are a complete waste of time.

Don't get your hopes up on this bomb.

Shark Bait (2022)

Fairly well done shark movie

[6/10 · 10 July 2023]

Two minutes into the movie, I was already rooting for the shark. Overall, though, it was an entertaining movie (more of a guilty pleasure).

The acting and filming was very well done, setting this apart from the typical B movie. The film was visually and audibly stimulating. I felt like the film whisked the viewer to a vacation isle, then out to a vast, lonely, dangerous ocean.

And there were a couple of attack and wound scenes that made me cringe. Well done. The poor guy with the leg wound. Ow.

Of course, the characters were some of the most obnoxious and morally corrupt college kids ever portrayed. Only one had an ounce of common sense, which often came too late. As long as you cheer for the shark, you should have a jolly time with this film.

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (2019– )

Very Strange Show, Sometimes Funny

[7/10 · 26 June 2023]

I've come to the conclusion Tim Robinson must be completely insane.

Some of the skits are rip roaring hilarious and witty, like old SNL from the 80's. Maybe a little more over the top than SNL. Some skits I just didn't get at all. But it's original and worthwhile in my opinion. You never know what you're going to get.

It's hard to review comedy. Everyone is different and has different tastes. If I tried to guess, I Think You Should Leave would appeal to people who like silly, crazy, socially uncomfortable humor. Put the mind of a small child into a full grown man and this is what you might get. Some skits might even make you think for a minute. Tim's just mostly nuts though, I think.

Nope (2022)

Just Another Over-Hyped Hollywood Flop

[2/10 · 19 June 2023]

Not horror, not sci-fi, not mystery. One reviewer summed it up nicely. Something to the tune of, the first half of the movie is spent wondering if anything will happen. The second half of the movie is wondering how much time is left until it's over. The only reason I toughed it out was to see the climax, which was terrible. It was a boring move.

This film was hyped as a mystery horror film comparable to Close Encounters. Bait and switch. It's just an artistic flop about the woes of Hollywood, fame, and Capitalism. Glad I didn't pay anything to see it. However it was a complete waste of a couple of hours.

One thing to waste a viewer's time with a bad film. There's a lot of bad films out there. It's another issue to outright mislead viewers into watching a bad film under the guise of another genre.

Before the Fire (2020)

Pre-Pandemic Release Gem

[7/10 · 21 May 2023]

Not the action packed thriller you would expect from the Amazon preview. But a well filmed and thought-provoking frightening movie of a woman's story who goes through the end of the society as we know it today.

This film was released pre-COVID. So naturally it didn't reflect mandatory masks, Governors racing to see who can shut down their state the fastest, and the Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020-2021. It is not a Walking Dead zombie-fest or Mad Max film. In a way, it's scarier. It's a realistic portrayal of what a pandemic could look like.

Which is much more frightening than zombies. Ava (a.k.a. Amanda), an LA Actress, is forced to live in rural South Dakota with her boyfriend's family away from the pandemic.

The tension starts immediately since Ava is not on good terms with her in-laws. As the story unfolds, the pandemic quietly progresses in the background. The supply chain is breaking down, and food is becoming scarce. Some men form a local militia both out of fear and the desire for violence and control. The law and society quickly break down.

This is Ava's story as her world falls apart and she tries to adapt to each changing situation.

The filming was stunning as was the acting. And most of us can relate to the uncertainty of early COVID. This film shows us the worse case scenario. And I think it plays out exactly how it could in real life when some people will resort to extreme violence and lawlessness to survive. Or how some might even enjoy the lawlessness.

The ending was quite abrupt. And I believe holds true to the simple reality of how a pandemic on this magnitude would play out.

Glitch (2015–2019)

S1 & S2 Were Entertaining

[5/10 · 28 April 2023]

Interesting drama show. Was hooked from the moment some people were digging themselves from their graves. Season One & Two had a lot of momentum going as each character's story unfolded bit by bit. Things explained themselves. As soon as one mystery was solved, one or two new mysteries would be presented. And the Police Officer, James is always in some trouble. He just can't catch a break with these people. Paddy's story is great.

I'd totally recommend Season 1 & 2 for some light drama viewing.

As the show progressed, especially towards the end of Season 2, more and more production mistakes, inconsistencies, out of sequence shots started to pop up. Not a deal breaker, but showing signs of careless scripting and editing.

Seasons 3... Forget Season 3. By this time, the story just disintegrated. It was getting so awful, I found it better to find something else to do other than waste time on S3.

For S1 & S2, it was a fun show.

The Last of Us (2023– )

Just Another Video Game Inspired TV Show

[3/10 · 7 February 2023]

I had a great expectations for TLoU. Episode 1 was a great pilot and offered a new twist in the saturated zombie genre. I was highly anticipating Episode 2 as both the monster and dystopia stories continue.

Episode 2 was pretty good, but forgettable. I was a little disappointed as the story didn't progress much. But now we're starting to explore life beyond the quarantine zone. There's hope.

Not sure where Episode 3 came from. Talk about left field. Pretty much a waste of time spent on this romance drama. But I noticed something, the zombies disappeared. With enough hurricane fence, barbed wire, and homemade land mines, you can indefinitely hold off raiders and monsters. Who knew. OK, a dud. Nothing to see here. Moving on.

By Episode 4, we learn that 20 year old gas still works, though a little thin, 20 year old canned goods are perfectly fine to eat, zombie don't live in rural areas anymore and zombie don't occupy the same urban zones that pirates do. Where do they live, apparently just around quarantine zones? They're not in Episode 4 either. E4 is just Water World on land. On boy. Nothing new here, just urban Pirates vs Elliot and a 14 year old. But in E4, Elliot laughs. Only took 4 hours for this tiny bit of character development. The pirates are really menacing though and well fed. But no match for Elliot's deer rifle. Why did Elliot drop the M4 and keep the hunting rifle? A mystery.

The show I learned is based off of a video game. Now it makes perfect sense. Just a two-for-one corporate money making scheme - new video game sales plus TV show revenue. I get it now. Now just get Mt. Dew onboard and it's a no-brainer.

Finally just gave up halfway through E5. Just a soap opera.

Ender's Game (2013)

Very Entertaining Film

[7/10 · 3 February 2023]

To be fair, I did not read the book. Books usually are better than the movie 99% of the time.

A fast paced sci-fi with some great acting, drama, and special effects. I thoroughly enjoyed the film. Harrison Ford is always a bonus too. I would have enjoyed this in the theater.

Basically, it's a story of a prodigy human teen who trains to help save the planet from an invading bug-like alien species. It's got aliens, lasers, high tech no-gravity laser tag, fighter planes, drones, swarms, space ships, explosions, and alien planets. There's a lot packed into the movie. And poor Ender, I think a lot of people can relate to being bullied because they were good at something. But Ender endures and stays focused on his goals. I think this is one of the themes the book probably explains better.

I suspected there was a lot, I mean a lot of detail in the books that was missing from the movie. My guess is they could have split this into a two or three film series easily enough to get some more back story. There were quite a few times the film didn't do a good job of explaining something, so I suspect it's like squeezing LOTR into one movie.

Otherwise, it was an entertaining and well done film.

The Fog (2005)

Nothing Like Original "The Fog"

[1/10 · 30 January 2023]

This version of "The Fog" is absolutely nothing like the original "The Fog". The original movie was terrifying and memorable. I thought with better technology and CGI, a remake could be a great film and tribute. But the remake of "The Fog" was nothing but disappointing.

Characters can make or break a story. When most of the characters are likeable, it's hard to enjoy the film. The characters in the remake are plastic and stereotypical. The lead character is a two timing loser with an unknown chip on his shoulder, his girlfriend is a narcissistic mental case who tends to disappear for months to the big city on fancies of escaping the fishing island. Of which, the inhabitants of said fishing island are stuck listening to their only radio station which plays off the wall hip and trendy Indy music with a DJ that only speaks in a sexy voice while on air which would drive any town insane after a while. Especially one filled with old fishermen. And ghosts that are lame. The drunk priest. The overbearing mayor. Inept police. The teen who doesn't listen. A local village museum that looks like a small Louvre. You name it, the stereotype is in the film. You'll fill you're Bingo card in the first 10 minutes.

And working with fog should provide a ton of opportunities to set eerie atmospheres. But the fog is reduced to cheesy CGI which doesn't resemble fog at all. Just some fake cloud that comes and goes. Maybe the ghosts had bad gas, I don't know.

I didn't find any redeeming qualities in this film. I vote skip this bad remake and find the original "The Fog". This one is 100% dud. Not worth the time to watch.

Gremlin (2017)

Oh Boy, Could Have Been Much Better

[3/10 · 30 January 2023]

Not an entirely bad movie. The story concept has a lot of promise. An insidious curse is placed on a mysterious box that contains a blood thirsty gremlin. Before the gremlin is released, the person in possession of the box must pass it off to someone they love, or the gremlin starts killing everyone around them.

It's actually an entertaining movie with some pretty bad acting. Not all acting is bad, but enough to raise eyebrows many times throughout the movie. A few actors are pretty good.

The nail in the coffin was what the writers did with the script. There were some seriously illogical (dumb) decisions made in the movie. Why on Earth would the characters do some of the things they did? No answers, except some seriously bad plot writing. There was so much more the writers could have added and subtracted to make this a good film. Like redo the dad character and add maybe add a little more X-Files like mystery to the detective. And darken the film and give the creepy critter some shadows to hide in like old 70's flicks with horrifying creatures that hide in the dark.

Otherwise, it was entertaining and had a couple scenes I didn't anticipate.

Not as cheesy as ScyFy flicks. Could have been on par with other creepy critter flicks with more budget, small plot rewrites, and more creative camera work. Maybe a big studio will get some ideas later.

The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

Below Average 70's Creature Feature

[4/10 · 19 January 2023]

This entertaining piece of history brought back fond memories of the late night Creature Features from the 70's. Not good enough to be called a masterpiece, but just good enough to probably stay off of the MST2000 radar.

The Creature of Crater Lake has menaced humans before. Ancient cave paintings depicted a prehistoric dinosaur fighting the native inhabitants 1000 years ago after a meteor crashed into the lake. Fast forward 1000 years to more modern times, and behold, another meteor crashes into Crater Lake. Guess that's how it got it's name. Anyway, the horror starts all over again.

It's an entertaining stop-motion Creature Feature. Loaded with teeth, plot holes, cheesy characters, cheesy acting, and mustaches. There's even a dangerous criminal thrown into the mix, as if the menacing monster isn't enough trouble. Not a dull moment.

As kids, this is the stuff we lived for come 12:00AM.

Sewer Gators (2022)

You'll Never Go to the Bathroom Alone. Again.

[10/10 · 13 January 2023]

As a lover of B Movies, "Sewer Gators" is pure gold. It's got cheese, it's got humor. It also has some pretty good music and NatGeo-esque films of real gators.

I laughed out loud several times through the movie. Whoever wrote this mashed together an amateur creature feature with the silly 80's style humor. Some humor is subtle in the background and other jokes are right in your face.

I wouldn't take a first date to see this movie or recommend it for family movie night. But I'd definitely recommend it to people who like B movies, high school and college students, or anyone a couple of beers into a six-pack of Natural Light.

This piece of art is exceptionally well done given the most likely budget of $500. This would be so fun to see in a theater.

Geostorm (2017)

Poor Writing, Bad Acting, Stereotypical Characters

[1/10 · 4 January 2023]

Confession, I could only make it through half the movie. The stereotypes were out of control with bad scripting and very bad acting.

The hero is a washed up, alcoholic (of course), obnoxious man who consistently acts like a 6 year old who gets fired for physical violence and throwing a literal temper tantrum in a Senate hearing. And holds a grudge against his brother for canning him. His daughter is 13 going on 40. Who is condescending towards him and acts like his mother. Guess the Director thought a kid acting and talking like an adult was cute or something.

Of course, the UN comes crawling back to the 6 year old man-child who lives in a trailer because he is the only one on the entire planet who can fix the complex broken satellite system created by scientists and engineers from 17 nations! OK.

To get the overgrown toddler into space, they send him up on a space shuttle, all by himself. They use an entire space shuttle configured like a transport bus with dozens of rows of chairs. But he's the only passenger. No wonder they ruined the planet.

Every office worker in this movie is also an accomplished "hacker" who can pull up any confidential information with a few keystrokes. In a world where office secretaries can read network packet traces. Hmmm. Oh, and the entire crew on the ISS are inept flunkies who don't know, nor care about what their duties are. Guess the writers are not aware of the fact that Astronauts are some of the most intelligent and capable people on the planet. NASA or the other 16 space agencies would never allow computer gamers and skaters in space masquerading as astronauts. Give me a break.

At some point, I thought to myself that Greta Thunberg may have written the script and made herself the hero of the story. Maybe she did, who knows.

My recommendation, avoid this intelligence insulting movie.

Something in the Woods (2015)

Worth a Watch

[8/10 · 27 September 2022]

I think the movie gets only a few stars because of the lackluster acting. Fair enough, the acting isn't that great. But there is a lot of heart in the acting and directing. It's easy to set aside the amateur acting and see the characters as average, everyday people.

The storyline is most definitely spooky. It recounts a story of a family in a remote town terrorized by multiple Bigfoot encounters in the 1960's. Supposedly the film is based on 'True Events'. Which adds to the scariness factor.

The story is laid out in such a way that it is told by an old man recounting a story one of the witnesses told him many, many years ago. As the film progresses, it focuses on a family who has increasingly alarming encounters with Bigfoot. As the story unfolds, the tension increases.

The photography and lighting was very well done. It dropped you right in rural America. The sets and cars were fantastic. And the truck did have a small 20000 something rec sticker on it, but I'm pretty sure the film was shot on a tight budget, no big deal.

The film has a few laughs and a couple of fun twists in it. But it's definitely spooky. There were a couple of very powerful scenes where I almost felt like I was in danger with the family and feared for them.

And remember, it's based on "True Events". Which means next time I'm in the woods at night, I have no doubt I'll have to reign in my fear. I don't believe in Bigfoot, but you can never be 100% sure. Right?

8 stars for scare factor. And never camping in the woods ever again.

The Unkind (2021)

Probably the Worst Movie of 2021

[1/10 · 27 September 2022]

I can't recommend 'The Unkind' to anyone, even people like me who enjoy B Movies. 'The Unkind' gets a solid F.

The first few minutes of nonsense was a flashback from the 1800's. While it attempted to set the stage for a terrifying movie, it just prepped the audience for yet another poorly written, low budget movie that should have ended up in a bon fire.

The acting is some of the worst acting I've ever seen. Seriously, I've seen better acting in pre-school plays. Don't get me wrong, pre-school plays are fun to watch, and the kids have fun and have heart. 'The Unkind' is supposed to be a horror flick with adults who are expected to at least try their hand at acting. Zero effort by the actors or director.

The script was also as unremarkable as the acting. I was under the impression that it was written in a single night inspired by a next day deadline and copious amounts of alcohol. Nothing connected, poor dialogue, and riddled with endless mistakes.

And this was yet another movie were the miserable characters lack any redeeming qualities whatsoever. In cases like this, I would usually just cheer for the monster. But no redeeming qualities there either. The best case scenario I was hoping for is that a Monty Python-esque police squad would crash the movie and arrest everyone, thus ending this insult of a film early. I could only hope.

Skip this one. And definitely don't pay hard earned money to rent it. Not sure how it got released to the public.

Catacombs (2007)

Couldn't Finish Movie, That Bad

[1/10 · 15 September 2022]

Not sure if it was the techno, drugs, really bad acting, or characters I just couldn't warm up to, but I had to hard abort mid-movie. Seriously, who would invite their sister, who suffers from an extreme anxiety disorder, to a rave in the catacombs??? Then encourage her to drink absinthe? I don't know, but a sibling that shallow and callous deserves to be eaten by a so-called Anti-Christ monster with bad allergies wearing a goat mask.

No scary, just an all around poor movie. Movies like this, I'd cheer for the monster, but he was equally pathetic. Perhaps if they they scripted in underground nuclear testing, I'd root for the scientists.

Dark Water (2005)

Excellent Performance, Could Have Been More

[7/10 · 29 August 2022]

Excellent performance by the cast and crew. Very well done and dramatic almost up to the end.

Then the story, IMO, just fell apart with a too simplistic and anti-climatic ending. The drama, directing, and cast was all there. The mystery was lacking though. The tension grew throughout the film, and during the last 20 minutes left the viewer asking, "Oh, that's it? That's a silly coincidence."

Was hoping for more of a ghost story where dark secrets are mysteriously uncovered as the story gets deeper and deeper. Something like we see in "The Changeling" with George C. Scott.

It's a good watch though. Definitely worth renting.