wjones-57006 Reviews

Christmas Cars (2019)

Off-beat, heartwarming holiday movie

[8/10 · 8 December 2023]

Let's get it out of the way: the production values of this film are low. Really low. John Schneider's Maven Studios produces low-budget films mostly aimed at his fans and fans of the Dukes of Hazzard. The acting ranges from good (John) to non-existent (most everyone else). I'm pretty sure a lot of the cast is friends and family. That said, Christmas Cars is an entertaining holiday film, based loosely on real events. Take it for what it is and enjoy the ride. John produces and directs the story of a down-and-out version of himself trying to save his home and property from foreclosure by selling models of the General Lee for Christmas. The film touts friendship, tolerance and a little holiday romance.

Think of it as a 90 minute holiday Dukes of Hazzard. Grab an eggnog flavored beer and enjoy it.

Zero to Sixty (1978)

An Amusing Artifact of a Different Time

[5/10 · 16 November 2023]

I first saw this on cable probably 25 years ago. When it came up on Prime I decided to take a trip down Memory Lane. Some films age better than others...this one not so much. Still, if you enjoy the '70 teens and cars genre (Grand Theft Auto, The Van, etc.), you'll probably find something entertaining in this low-budget car theft comedy. It's always a pleasure to watch Darrin McGavin in comedic roles and he lifts the script (which he co-wrote under his birth name) higher than it has a right to be. The rest of the cast succeeds or fails to various degrees.

The good: Dick Martin as a shady divorce lawyer.

Denise Nickerson as Larry, the teen car thief.

The mediocre: Sylvia Miles as the repo company owner.

Lyle Wagonner as a gay bartender.

The bad: Joan Collins as the same tramp Joan Collins always plays.

The horrendous: The Hudson Brothers during their 15 minutes of fame.

One final note: this film probably falls into the "they couldn't make this today" category.

Darrin MacGavin's Michael character is probably in his late 30's-early 40's. Larry is a 16 year old girl. (actress Denise Nickerson is really 31, looking every bit of 16). While pulling up just short of statutory rape (and Larry tries like heck), Michael resists, but nonetheless there is a creepiness hovering over them. It does gets resolved in the end.

Snake & Mongoose (2013)

Great docu-drama filmmaking

[8/10 · 28 October 2023]

This indie film shines with great directing, fine acting and wonderful cinematography. It's portrayal of 1960's drag racing culture is enhanced with great music and dead-on period settings, backed with tons of archival footage of the real stuff. Prudhomme and McEwen's often-difficult back stories show the rivalry and friendship that created drag racing legends....legends that in turn created a new paradigm for sports sponsorship and promotion. The film takes you along for the entire ride with its ups and downs, wins and losses, happiness and sadness. Along with Ford V. Ferrari, one of the best racing films in many years.

The Van (1977)

Seemed better at the time

[5/10 · 10 October 2023]

Let me start by saying that I saw this movie during its (short) original release. The drive-in had a couple dozen custom vans along the rear wall. I can only assume the shenanigans on the screen were being duplicated in the row of rolling bedrooms. Hey, it was the '70s.

This time I watched on Prime, some 56 years later. How the times have changed. While I still find the film amusing, some of it is a little hard to watch. What may have been considered acceptable by 1977 morals would never fly today. Apparently no didn't mean no, it meant "that's ok, keep trying, she'll come around eventually." That said, it's still an interesting piece of '70s culture. Custom vans, CB radios, 8-tracks and pot. Lots of pot. It was the end of the free love generation.

It's certainly not for everyone, but for those looking for an entertaining trip back to their own teen years it's worth a watch.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

Not as bad as you'd think.

[7/10 · 14 August 2023]

When reviewing movies I try to view them in context. Judging this film against high-budget, big-name movie making, its going to be no contest. Comparing it to other low-budget sci-fi/horror of its era it's actually pretty good (and not just for comedic value). Sure, the premise is as old as sci-fi comic books but is not without its merits. And frankly, the film is somewhat ahead of it's time in predicting major transplantations. (Okay, not HEAD transplants). Anyway, here's the scoop. The lead actors are pretty good considering the script. Secondary ones not so much, and that's being kind. Sets and props are typical B-movie quality and continuity is almost laughable. (Take note of the giant summer home's mansion-like exterior. Step inside and it looks like the set from a '50s sitcom). Cinematography is decent, especially exterior shots, and the vehicle cameras are actually quite good. FX and make-up are decent for this price point and the mutant is actually done pretty well.

Overall, an entertaining product of its time and worth a watch.

Fireball 500 (1966)

End of the Beach

[6/10 · 5 August 2023]

Fireball 500 was AIP's attempt to attract an older audience (or keep the one that was growing up). Much of the beach gang is still around (Avalon, Funicello and Lembeck) but, except maybe Annette, nothing like their old characters. Add Fabian into the mix as Avalon's nemesis and you've got a strangely serious movie with little music and even less humor. Really, most of the humor (and probably the best acting) comes from Chill Wills as Annette's Uncle/Carnival barker. Rounding out the main cast is Julie Parrish as a rich, slightly oversexed love interest for Avalon. Despite Frankie's attempts, he and Annette are, for the first and last time, not a couple.

The film is typical mid-'60s drive-in fare...cars, girls and music tied together with a mediocre script and passable acting. Due to the difficult nature of shooting and editing a racing film on a low budget, editing and continuity mistakes run rampant. It's almost funnier than the jokes.

When all is said and done, if you gauge it against it's genre it's a likable enough picture. Classic NASCAR fans will enjoy the genuine racing footage with legends like Richard Petty. Beach movie fans may be a little less enamored but it's still an enjoyable look at the end of beach movie innocence.

Haunted Mansion (2023)

Another Theme Park Movie Letdown

[4/10 · 29 July 2023]

The Haunted Mansion has been my favorite Magic Kingdom ride for decades. That made it all the harder to watch another poor attempt at a movie version. It's not terrible, it's just lazy. Disney has had little success with theme park movies, the exception being Pirates of the Carribean. It's like they have just run out of original ideas for their live-action films...even the animated ones are being re-hashed as live ones. It's been few and far between for original ideas from the Mouse House.

The script itself is pretty unoriginal. It's a story based on a story from a 50 year old attraction. Add a backstory and a little romance and call it a day. Oh, and don't forget to add in some version of every spooky effect from the ride. Acting ranges from great all the way down to...well...lazy. Most of the cast does an OK job with what they were given. The high end example is Danny DeVito. The man never seems to put less than 110% into whatever he does. At the low end is Rosario Dawson, an otherwise fine actress who looks like she just doesn't want to be in this particular film. She shows little to no emotion even as her world is falling apart. Who knows, maybe that's a directorial decision.

FX vary as well. Again, maybe a decision was made to keep them reigned in and not stray too far from the original ride. And then there's the issue with the humor...there hardly is any. I remember really laughing only once along with a few chuckles here and there. And it wasn't just me, the whole theatre was pretty much the same. But perhaps the oddest thing about film was the ridiculous product placement. No physical placement, the confines of the Mansion would have made that look out of place. It was verbal placement. For example, as Harriet organized a seance, she pulls out a notepad and mentions that she bought it at CVS on the way over. What? Who cares where she got it? Costco gets a similar plug as do one or two others.

I suppose the movie did what I needed it to do: kill a 95 degree afternoon with popcorn, air conditioning and yes, even a little entertainment. As I said up front, it's not terrible. I just expected better this time around.

4 out of 10 stars.

Pixels (2015)

What's with all the negativity?

[7/10 · 23 July 2023]

Pixels is not a bad movie. There, I said it. Why it has an 18% critic rating on Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me. What were they expecting for a family-friendly summer sci-fi/comedy based on '80s video games? Ghostbusters Go Back to the Future? Look, we all know Adam Sandler movies are fodder for the critics. I, myself, am not a fan of most of them (though his newer Netflix murder mystery comedies are actually pretty good). But I think Pixels delivered what it promised: good, clean fun with a high-tech twist on nostalgia. I'll break it down here:

Writing: not hysterically funny but humorous throughout with a few big laughs.

Cast: all good choices except Kevin James as the president. Sorry, but even as a buffoon of a leader, Kevin isn't the right fit. Maybe Dan Ackroyd should have had that part instead of the small Emcee part in the beginning.

Effects: good job of turning 2D video game characters into destructible 3D voxels. The Donkey Kong scene is especially impressive.

Cinematography: a very good job of shooting for a ton of on-screen characters that were not really there. Not an easy task.

Directing: Chris Columbus does an admirable job tying reality to CGI, also not easy to pull off.

Summary: Ignore all the negativity. Don't overthink it and you'll enjoy it.

7/10.

The Prisoner of Second Avenue (1975)

More Dark Than Comedy

[4/10 · 24 June 2023]

If there are three things that should equal comedy gold, it's Neil Simon, Anne Bancroft and Jack Lemmon. Unfortunately, no one other than Bancroft and Lemmon got the memo. Simon's script is dark, angry and even the jokes that work are usually delivered at a high volume. Even their neighbors get tired of hearing it. Fortunately, the performances of the two leads make it watchable, but just barely. The funniest moments come from unexpected sources. Peppered throughout the film are radio news and weather broadcasts that remind us how ludicrous New York living can be. (One DJ is a post-Laugh-In Gary Owen). And a humorous cameo by a then unknown Sly Stallone gives us a glimpse at the future Rocky Balboa.

Overall, it's a tense but somewhat entertaining way to spend 90 minutes but like Bancroft and Lemmon's characters, you may need a Valium to relax.

Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966)

So bad it's almost good

[4/10 · 17 June 2023]

If you're a fan of '60 sitcoms, this will probably give you a few chuckles. Don't look for much of a plot or decent sets (or even color). Come for the myriad of comedian cameos and stay for the irrepressible Morey Amsterdam. Vaudeville was long dead by 1966 and this film does nothing to disprove that....but it sure gives it one last try. Co-written and produced by Mr. Amsterdam, the film tries to cash in on the recently ended Dick Van Dyke Show's team of Sally Rogers, Mel Cooley and Buddy Sorell. Sadly, the cheesy script replaces them with three hapless diner employees caught up in a Russian espionage caper....or a bizarre attempt at one. Still, Morey's one-liners and Rose Marie's reactions give it just a touch of the old Buddy and Sally. And that makes it worth a look.

The Day Mars Invaded Earth (1962)

Better Than the Cheesy Title Suggests

[7/10 · 23 April 2023]

I just caught this on Hulu. I went in with low expectations and the first few minutes did nothing to alter that. But then the story begins to unfold and sucks you it. Although considered sci-fi, I found it to be more of a psychological thriller, and that's what kept me going. The tension grows right up to the clever ending.

According to Wikipedia, this low-budget " B" movie was released as part of a double feature with Elvis' Kissin' Cousins. Weird pairing but the drive-in days were like that. Relatively unknown actors do a commendable job and production values are decent once you get past the opening scenes. Fortunately, little was required in terms of special effects.

At 61 minutes long and shot in black and white, it could pass for an Outer Limits episode of the same period. But at least it would be a good one. Rating: B-

Hit and Run (I) (2012)

Better than you'd think

[8/10 · 19 April 2023]

I had low hopes when I spotted this on Hulu but was pleasantly surprised. Dax's passion for movies, cars and Kristen Bell shines in this car-chase love letter to all three. Even Tom Arnold is well-suited to his part as a disaster of a Federal Marshall and Bradley Cooper is perfect as the bad guy. A few more of Dax's friends show up and add to the fun. But I think the real heart of the film is that Shepard and Bell's real-life relationship makes the on-screen romance incredibly real. Their interaction and dialogue is so convincing that you'd swear it was unscripted. A fun indie film made by fun people.

We Have a Ghost (2023)

Different than expected but also better

[8/10 · 5 March 2023]

For some reason, most of the naysayers seem to have found some political or racial agenda in the film. Other than a tad of good-natured fun, I saw no such thing. I found it funny, touching, and yes, briefly grotesque. It's certainly not for small kids, but still a good film for the rest of the family. The story was great and kept you guessing for most of the movie. As some have stated, it could have been shorter. And I would have replaced Tig Notaro with, well, anybody else. Her current popularity puzzles me. (Wouldn't Gillian Anderson have been perfect?!) Overall, it made for a great Saturday night. 8/10.

What Did You Do in the War, Daddy? (1966)

A Wasted (mis)Cast

[4/10 · 1 October 2022]

War dramedies were popular in the '60s, culminating in 1970's Kelly's Heroes. In an usual twist, the last one was the gold standard (pun intended). 1966 saw What Did You Do In the War, Daddy?, a rare box office bomb from Blake Edwards. At just under 2 hours, it's not only long but it seems even longer. The cast was certainly top-notch but wasted on a meandering story that could have been tightened into a decent 90 minutes. I can't help but feel that main leads Dick Shawn and James Coburn should have had their roles reversed. Shawn's comedic talent is wasted as the straight-laced captain and Coburn's lieutenant wanders through the film as if looking for something funny to do and never finding it. The normally talented Mr. Coburn seems to sleepwalk through the entire production. Carrol O'Connor is worth seeing as a gung-ho general, a part he'll later repeat almost exactly in Kelly's Heroes four years later. The most fun is to be had is in watching Harry Morgan's major slowly disintegrate from stoic leadership to complete insanity. It's a rare chance for Morgan to be loony and he plays it well.

With good production values, occasional humor and likable cast it's still worth a watch for war comedy fans....barely.