ElizaReview Reviews

The Teacher (2022–2024)

Not How Teachers - Or Humans - Behave

[2/10 · 18 December 2022]

Foolishly watched this via Netflix without knowing anything about it. Why I continued after the first episode I can't explain. What is it trying to say? What does it mean?

I had no sympathy for Jenna. For a start she was a car crash who would simply not have been able to get through the school day if she was really living her life like that. She's out of control, inappropriate, 'blacks out' when she drinks and puts herself in dangerous situations on a nightly basis. She goes into school wearing what she had on the night before. She must stink.

As for sleeping with a pupil - well even she assumed she must have done it. She plead guilty to a career ending offence she was so sure. The fact she hadn't slept with him doesn't mean she wouldn't do something like, it's just how it turned out that night. So she shouldn't be around children regardless of whether she slept with Kyle or not because on another night she might have done. That's what happens when you black out - basically anything.

What was the block of flats Kyle lived in?! It was the size of a small city.

The school she worked in was a state school - why were they discussing scholarships?!

During community service, why did she sneer when she told the guy she was a sex offender and he walked away? His reaction is normal!

Why did the club bouncer say Kyle was lucky?! Or rather why didn't Jenna challenge him?! We still have a long way to come if it's still not understood that a teacher sleeping with a pupil is ABUSE.

And why did the guy go to those lengths for revenge? It made no sense at all. It was about as stupid as you could get.

And was Pauline a teacher? She seemed so have learning difficulties to me. What an idiot.

Oh of course her mother had bipolar. Of course. Twoddle.

Dear Evan Hansen (2021)

Theatre Show Million Times Better

[3/10 · 15 October 2022]

We saw Dear Evan Hansen in London last week and it was outstanding. So we decided to watch it on Amazon Prime tonight. Oh dear...

Firstly Evan is played by a 45 year old. Amazing voice but not convincing as a teenager. Too overtly nervy and jumpy. No subtlety or nuance to his anxiety.

Secondly I loved the empathetic interpretation of being a mother trying to do their best in the theatre production - Does Anybody Have a Map was amazing. But it's lost in the film.

And it is soooo earnest....none of the humour, relatability and fast pace of the theatre show.

Listen to the soundtrack on Spotify rather then watch this. Though Sincerely Me is good - watch on You Tube. Has the right mix of humour and the person playing Connor has charisma.

Starstruck (2021–2023)

What Do They See In Each Other?!

[5/10 · 14 June 2022]

Jessie is your typical 'Messy Millennial Woman' and comes ready baked with all the tropes you'd expect from that stereotype. Casual jobs she's not really interested in? Tick. Chaotic dating pattern of her own making? Tick. Speaks her thoughts with no filter? Tick. Being impulsive, flaky, spontaneous and self-destructive? Tick, tick, tick. What does Tom see in her?!

And what does she see in him? He's pleasant enough but dull and boring with no discernible personality. His family seem great with bags of wit - why did he not inherit any of those genes? He's a famous film star, is that the attraction? Why would MMW be interested in that? Wouldn't MMW take that Cinderella idea and reject it for the nonsense it is?

And together they are a terrible couple. They lack chemistry which is one thing (though if they had that the show would be much, much better). But here are two adults completely incapable of having a normal conversation. Jessie, forward and brash in nearly all situations, is suddenly incapable of telling Tom she likes him and recognising, despite all the obvious signs, that he likes her. Instead, inexplicably, the baseline expectation is that the other one doesn't really want to be there and just wants an excuse to go home. Maybe that makes sense in the beginning but after they start 'seeing' each other it's still happening and it's just daft - they never seem anything other than strangers speaking different languages.

Cheaters (2022–2024)

Loved It

[10/10 · 11 June 2022]

It's almost impossible to tell a story about cheating but still create characters that are real, likeable and decent but Cheaters succeeded. Definitely recommend and hope there's more.

It's a Sin (2021)

Educational and Informative About HIV and AIDS

[7/10 · 1 April 2022]

I was born in 1977 and remember being terrified by the public information ads shown in the early 80s. At a family gathering I made everyone laugh uncomfortably by solemnly misquoting to everyone, 'don't die of ignorance, die of AIDS.' But of course AIDS wasn't and isn't funny and It's a Sin was extremely useful for understanding the early days of the disease when people had no idea what they were dealing with. When Peggy Mitchell in Eastenders treated HIV positive Mark Fowler with complete contempt and disgust I was so confused - what was her problem? But now I see where this view came from, with hospitals locking people away and funeral homes refusing to take AIDS victims. It's a Sin was entertaining with some interesting characters but the acting was only ok to good not great which means I wasn't as moved by some scenes as I should have been. 'La' was deeply irritating and cringey. And I was frustrated by Jill devoting her whole life to her friends rather than seeking her own partner or family. Maybe she was happy with that but it was never stated, she was just presented as constant support and champion for her pals and I think she deserved more character development that was about her and who she was.

Containment (I) (2015)

When they say 'vaccine' don't they mean 'antidote'?!

[1/10 · 18 March 2022]

Who was your worst character? Annoying old fag-loving 'lady next door'? Unpleasant coward 'nasty boyfriend'? Vicious, hot-tempered 'thug'? Or maybe the neighbours from the next tower block here performing as 'hysterical mob from The Simpsons'? 'Give us the vaccine,' they screeched, missing the point that a vaccine wasn't going to be much use if they're already infected.

One star for Nicu's NASA suit plus one star for Mark who was actually a decent character. Less one star for Mark dying ridiculously on a playground swing.

Crimson Peak (2015)

Great Ghosts But Where Were The Leaves Coming From?

[7/10 · 22 April 2021]

The ghosts were great in this - very well done and creepy. Though why your own mother would choose to return to warn you of something in such a terrifying way and in the middle of the night I really don't know.

One question I have is why leaves were continually falling through the hole in the roof. Firstly the roof was much higher than the treeline and secondly, the outside shots showed a lone tree with barely enough leaves to have poured through the hole for five minutes let alone weeks on end. I can only conclude this was a plot device to explain why Edith had a massive patch of snow to fall on later.

Talking of Edith falling - I know adrenaline can keep you going but her ability to keep going despite the fall and other injuries was quite something. And how Dr McMichael didn't bleed out within minutes was truly impressive. Maybe he used the leaves as some kind of temporary bandage?

Warning: close your eyes for the sink scene. Very, very disturbing.

Ghosts (2019–2023)

Excellent!

[10/10 · 14 May 2019]

I loved this cast when they were in Horrible Histories and they are fabulous here. All the characters are well rounded and entertaining and share the good lines. So difficult to choose my top ghost but it might have to be the awful untrousered Tory MP Julian who is completely loathsome and self-centred but very funny or the irrepressible Kitty though the rest of my family love Robin the caveman who lacks the vocabulary but is probably the most sensible of them all. Writing this though just makes me realise that they're all great.

The concept is original and we laugh out loud lots during each episode. It's definitely our favourite show at the moment and I recommend it!

The Ritual (I) (2017)

Good British Horror

[8/10 · 6 May 2019]

This film has all the standard horrors you'd expect - folk stranded somewhere without phone signal, some evil force trying to scare them, the group being picked off one by one. But what made it different was the believable group of friends at the heart of the film. Normally I can't wait for the characters to be killed off but this time I was rooting for them to survive.

Also worth mentioning is one of the opening scenes set in the shop. It was extremely well done and reminded me of the creeping horror and impending doom in the first few pages of Brighton Rock.

I was disappointed with the ending as I felt lone survival for him was going to more of a punishment than a reward and he didn't get the redemption he needed. Saving his friend would have been better.

Gravity (2013)

Amazing Effects - Terrible Otherwise

[4/10 · 5 May 2019]

The views of Earth from space are fabulous and the special effects that enabled the cast to float about are great. It's everything else that lets it down.

The soaring music telling me how to feel and the contrived inclusion of a dead daughter to get me rooting for the protagonist are not necessary. Nor is the 'added' tension of having a clueless rookie who needs to use an instruction manual and the tried and trusted 'eenie, meenie, miny, moe' method of flying space craft. The situation and backdrop of planet Earth is quite dramatic enough and it's such a shame that it wasn't the entire focus rather than Hollywooding it up with unnecessary extras.

And why did the George Clooney character have to go on about eye colour? I found his flirting disconcerting and his questioning of her personal life back on Earth whilst they're floating through space preposterous. And of course he has to be the one who, despite being dead, returns to spur her on to survive in a dream sequence. What a hero.

I wanted to like this film but it was just too daft to take seriously.