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Reviews
The Unborn (2009)
Where was Remar??????
Man, this was a let-down. Excellent trailer, AND the combination of both James Remar and Gary Oldman? Too much! But, just like getting that really crappy little prize, when you were a kid, outta your Count Chocula that you THOUGHT was gonna be good, it wasn't good was it? And this movie sucks.
First, James Remar is wasted as the principle's father and has NO presence in the film at all. At least he could have been an alcoholic lunatic who smacked the kids around once in a while, but NOOOOOOOOOO! Instead, he's wasted as basically an extra! Maybe that was best. Too bad Gary Oldman had to have more than one day on set, as this film MUST give him the head shakes. I can't believe he needed the money!? Second, this piece of junk steals liberally from Silent Hill, The Grudge, and The Ring. You don't need me to tell you the parts; you'll figure it out. The exorcism itself is simply ridiculous, uninspiring, not scary, and almost stupid in it's goofiness.
Thirdly, the ending is simply awful. It kind of gets my dander up to know that some hack writer, who probably deserves to live in a Salvation Army shelter and NEVER receive a lick of work, actually got very good money for this script. No Dorothy; Hollywood isn't cruel...apparently any unimaginative idiot can make an above-average living by writing out a bunch of sh*t and calling it a script. Need proof? WATCH THIS MOVIE! A couple of passable shock images, but NOT overly scary. You like the trailer? Don't bother with the film.
Dead Silence (2007)
Really Disappointed...Not Close To Being Creepy
I was looking forward to seeing this film for quite a while and when I read the glowing reviews on IMDb, I was excited. Excited to think that this may be one that was well done, creepy, and HOPEFULLY a film that would send me to bed with some scary thoughts! Unfortunately, this film did NOT have that effect. They did try to 'steal' a little bit of that "shock face" image from "The Ring", and it was slightly successful, but not near enough. I thought the photos of the dead in the coroner's album were creepy enough, BUT wasn't Mary Shaw murdered in 1941?? If so, those photos (of her victims, post 1941) looked REALLY old for 1941. I've seen photos from that period, and they don't look that old and beaten. Maybe I missed something. Cameras were taking much better photos than that in 1941, believe me.
I thought the ending was a nice little twist, but the preceding "doll battle" with our two heroes in the old theater was really lame. And who would put their head up to a doll clown if it said, "Come closer and let me whisper it in your ear."??????? That's silly writing, that's all.
Mary's coffin make-up (dead in coffin) was not too bad, and there were a couple of interesting visuals, BUT if this is the scariest thing that can pass as a CREEP FLIC these days, I'm terribly disappointed. For fans of creepy doll stories, you are best off searching out "Magic" and "Tourist Trap". Both films are faaaar superior.
I'll lose no sleep unfortunately. I was hoping to.
A Taste of Blood (1967)
Weak HG Lewis Effort....See His Other Stuff First
First off, I'm a HUGE fan of Mr. Lewis and have enjoyed many of his films over the years (2000 Maniacs, Blood Feast, Gruesome Twosome, She Devils On Wheels, Colour Me Blood Red, etc). Admittedly, I enjoy low budget schlockfests and B-movies. I am able to somehow find the good in even the worst exploitation films.
However, while I loved and still love Lewis' 1960s gore films, "Taste of Blood" is EASILY the weakest effort in the Lewis horror library. The acting is truly laughable, the plot inane, and the trademark Lewis gore is tame and bland. Vampire Stone is a dork and in the end, goes down in a pitiful display that would make Chris Lee red with rage.
If you are a new fan to Herschell Gordon, steer clear of this film until you've seen his "classics" ("2000 Maniacs" a must see). This is a very weak entry, and one that made even this die-hard Lewis freak wince........not in a "good" way.
Boogeyman (2005)
Can't Believe Some Moron Got Paid For Making This
I'm giving it a 'one' because I thought the opening sequence was NOT ALL THAT BAD..especially when the kid in the bed sees the shape on the chair.
That's it! This movie quickly goes downhill and never recovers. This is a laughable horror film with a "pay-off" monster that had me saying, "You are kidding...right?" The "Boogeyman" is as scary as Aunt Matilda after 4 gin tonics...and she wants to give you a little kissy. Annoying? Yes....BUT faaaar from frightening.
The clowns who wrote this junk and the buffoons who filmed it should have read Steven King's short story from the 1980s and taken it from there. This film was a HUGE disappointment.
This is such a lousy film. It doesn't deserve the moniker "horror film". It could have been a made-for-TV quickie and I still would have been critical. Its THAT lousy.
The Twilight Zone: The Invaders (1961)
Classic Episode. Remembered Fondly..
Certainly one of the more remembered of all TZ episodes. Agnes Moorehead battles apparent martians from outer space. I recall this episode giving me the willies when I was a kid, especially the scene where Agnes grabs the knife instead of the door handle! Ouch!! The little "robots" don't seem very scary by today's standards; certainly not with all the CGI effects out there today. However, it's an episode that helped propel TZ into the loved series that it continues to be today.
Will she triumph? And are they REALLY martians??? Great episode. One of the best from year one for me.
The Twilight Zone: Living Doll (1963)
Creepy...An Absolute Fave Episode!
Best TZ episode? For me..yes! I found dolls and mannequins creepy throughout my life, and apparently others did as well, hence the other episodes in TZ and "Night Gallery" that dealt with the subject.
The story begins with a young girl coming home to her father (Telly Savalas) with a new play thing: the "Talky Tina" doll. Father isn't overly impressed and kind of hard on the kid. But while the doll spews such sap as, "I love you" when you pull her string, when father is alone in the room with "Tina", she says, "I am going to kill you". Of course Mom and daughter don't hear this side of "Tina", and Telly has a problem! What follows is father trying in vain to get rid of the accursed doll, but it doesn't go away that easily! It doesn't end nicely! A very creepy episode with a dark feel throughout. Any fans of the doll genre in horror films must see this episode. It's a classic in my eyes and one of the scariest of all the TZ episodes.
Fans of the Simpsons will remember the Halloween Special a few years back with the talking "Krusty" doll that kept trying to kill Homer. Obviously a direct takeoff of the "Talky Tina" doll from this great TZ moment....to a T! "Krusty and Homer ended up buddies in that story....."Tina" and Telly certainly do NOT!
The Alamo (2004)
Not What I Waited "Forever" For, But A Good Re-Telling..
Being a self-confessed HUGE Alamo fan (not many of those up here in Canada I imagine), I knew that this film was coming for years, and waited anxiously. Upon arrival however, I heard the stories that made me begin to think, "Oh no...". First, the involvement of Disney. God...does everything they touch turn to bile? That worried me. Then, the self-dismissal of Ron Howard as director. I had understood that Howard wanted to take the film in a bit of a different direction, make it "edgy" and show the violence of the siege in all its "glory". In fact, it was a bloody final battle and not at all as pretty as previously shown by countless other films. But, of course, Disney slashed the budget and were probably horrified that there was going to be blood and cruel violence in their war epic. How appalling I'm sure!!!! Howard left soon afterward.
Whle I thoroughly enjoyed the characters and embraced Billy Bob as Crockett, I couldn't give this long awaited friend a "10". While Jason Patric was admirable as Bowie, I though Dennis Quaid a poor cast as Houston. The sets were breathtaking and period perfect. Costuming and weaponry wonderful and score was above average. Some scenes in particular I thought really well done were the Crockett "fiddle duet" with the Mexicans, Crockett plinking on the fiddle while the Mexican army crept through the darkness to surprise the sleeping garrison, Travis' speech to the doomed troops, and the final minutes of the assault as Crockett looks to the young boy and realizes some sort of destiny.
I really think the final assault scene could have been longer. After all, telling a story is crucial, but the last assault might have been a bit longer in my opinion. AND it was, much to Disney's delight I'm sure, totally bloodless. Now I know there are a lot of opinions here already that probably applaud the lack of blood and brutality (why would we have that in battle scenes anyway????), but come on! There was much more blood and carnage in John Wayne's version as well as in classics such as "Zulu" and the beautifully bloody "The Wild Bunch". We get to see a glimpse of the head shot Travis as well as a bloodied Bowie, but they are quite tame. The battle scenes were wonderfully staged and the night/pore-dawn assault a treat for the eyes (as it truly happened BTW), but I thought it too antiseptic. The final battle for the Alamo was extremely brutal, sadistic, and cruel in fact. Hand to hand fighting was ferocious, yet the film really showed none of it. I would have liked them to show this side of the battle instead of trying to give us a little "Fess Parker". But then again, when Disney's involved, you know there is going to be some problems. I'm not asking for a horror show here...just a little more realism and some uncomfortable moments. Remember, the real event was as nasty as they come and the defenders slaughtered in a gruesome manner. Jeeez, even John Wayne got a little blood on him!! Way to go again Disney. I wish Hancock would have pushed a bit more for some darker moments.
Overall though, a good entry and easily the best of all the Alamo films. Billy Bob was a magnificent choice as DC and made it much more enjoyable for me.
Since this film bombed so badly at the box office, I don't see any more Alamo films being made in my lifetime....too bad. Let's hope Disney doesn't look to get involved in a "Custer's Last Stand" and/or a "Rourke's Drift" type of film. The farther they stay out of the WAR film biz, the better.
Tourist Trap (1979)
An All-Time Fave...
This is one of my favorite horror films of all time and I used to think it never really got its due. That is until I read the glowing reviews here. It seems many feel the same as I did when I first saw it.
It's a damn creepy film, and I've spent most of my life watching creepy films. I've always found dolls, mannequins and such damn creepy! Check out the dolls in "Beyond the Door" and of course the great "Trilogy of Terror". And what about the magnificent Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll". Hell, dolls are creepy! And Tourist Trap has some moments that will make your hair stand on the back of your neck. All aided by an excellent soundtrack that just makes Connors' performance even more heart-pounding.
I remember seeing the trailer to this film on late night TV and thing, "Wow, I gotta see that!" It was memorable. And it's one of the only trailers I remember seeing as a kid that creeped me out. Took me years to see it, but it was a treat.
Stephen King also mentions this film in his "Danse Macabre" book, and gives it a glowing recommendation. Pretty good company.
This film will always be high on my list of must-sees. It's a real solid addition to the genre of the time and deserves place alongside the best of the 70s schlockers.
Face-Off (1971)
No "Slapshot", But Then, What Is??????
Another hockey film among hockey films, the difference being that this one was set in the ultra-swingin' early 70s where sideburns and fringe vests were the norm.
While I found the plot to be somewhat dull, the hockey scenes and cameos are a treat for die-hard fans. Even the "Turk" Derek Sanderson has a few lines as he tussles on ice with young up-and-comer Billy Duke. The suits, the hair, the language, all very 70s and quite fun to take in.
The film also has that "Made In Canada" look. I, for one, find that very pleasing. Watching this film brings back tons of memories of the Gardens and players long retired. And memories of what Canadian films used to look like - good or bad! It's a fun diversion back into the 70s. Silly plot, but still interesting for the visuals and the footage of past sports greats.
If you like your hockey films like "Youngblood", stay away. This ain't polished, or shined up all nice...but it's somewhat of a Canadian classic. And darn hard to find.
An American Christmas Carol (1979)
Deserves Full Praise As A Worthy Addition.
While I love almost all of the "Christmas Carol" films, this one really has a special place in my heart. I saw this movie many years back when I was not really a fan of Christmas movies and never went out of my way to watch them. This film changed that. I enjoyed it so much that I now eagerly await every December as a time once again to enjoy some of the classic holiday shows from times past. "An American Christmas Carol" is easily one of my favorites. And, as a previous reviewer felt, the ending of the Winkler version may be the best of all of the versions, although I still love the Alistair Sims ending (standing on his head!) Excellent film. And it deserves a place in the "Christmas Film Hall Of Fame".
The Bishop's Wife (1947)
A Christmas Fave In My Home Every December!
Around December 15th of every year, I break out the Sinatra and Nat King Cole Xmas CDs and of course, the classic holiday DVDs. "The Bishop's Wife" was the FIRST holiday DVD I ever bought and easily one of my favorite holiday features. Cary Grant is wonderful and never ceases to make me smile every December when I enjoy this little gem of a film.
It seems that whenever I see a "Top Ten Christmas Films" list, I rarely if ever see this film mentioned. Well, it should be. It is holiday fare at its finest and a suitable companion DVD alongside other "must haves" like "It's A Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Carol", and "Christmas Story".
And Loretta Young is an angel. A really feel good film.
A Pál-utcai fiúk (1968)
Something special...
I have not seen this film in many, many years. I recall seeing it when I stayed home from school sick with the flu. That was about 30 years ago, and it has stayed with me ever since. Even though I saw it through a young man's eyes, I remember it being a wonderful film and one that I have remembered and searched for for many years. It is a total shame that it is not available on DVD or even VHS. Of all the films I've searched for over the years this one still alludes me and frustrates me. It's that good and that well done.
I've seen a lot of films through the years. This one is a special one and consider yourself slightly lucky if you've been able to view it and commit it to your 'movie memory'.
Chekist (1992)
A great film, but hard to watch for the "average" movie-goer....
The above reviews have captured "The Chekist" pretty well. It's all that! But above all, extremely sad. Absolutely pitiful that men like this actually existed and committed the same atrocities as depicted here. Some of the scenes are hair-raising, as these poor people meekly and silently accept their fate and are slaughtered without trial or mercy.
I have not seen the movie in a few years, but it one of the ONES that will always stick with me. I can still hear the echoes of the pistol shots that resound with a horrific "BANG". And of course, the bodies. The treatment these people received is beyond what I can say. This film is almost must see, but I can understand why someone would prefer not to watch it. To watch this classic is to understand that it probably will stay with you for a very long time. And it should.
Satan's Sadists (1969)
"Sadists" a "fun" ride for the TRUE fan of BAD dudes!
Coming from a huge fan of the trashy, 1970s, low-budget, motorcycle gang, genre, my comment may be slightly biased. Being a fan of the wonderful Al Adamson might be too much as well. However, as far as sleazy 70s biker flics go, "Satan's Sadists" is indeed one of the better ones. Russ Tamblyn outdoes himself as the whacked out, sadistic leader of the group. His performance is truly fun to watch and he plays the villainous role to the max. The soundtrack is also tons of fun with some memorable "acid" tunes that should have you saying "Wow man!" every 20 minutes or so.
It's a pretty violent entry to the biker genre, but few of them are really "sugary-sweet". "Sadists" however, is maybe a bit above the rest with some real nastiness committed by the title group. For something a little less shocking, "Easy Rider" would be a better choice or even "Hell's Angels On Wheels".
Fans of schlock director Al Adamson have to see/own this one. It's a biker "classic" and deserves high ranking in biker film "Top Tens" right alongside "Northville Cemetery Massacre", "The Glory Stompers" and "The Savage Seven". Enjoy!