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Reviews
Stitches (2001)
The Best Full Moon Production Ever!
I usually rent movies by Full Moon Productions,because their usually so bad their good.But,in this case it wasn't really cheesy and unintentionally funny.The story was a little bit dumb and a little bit typical of a demon movie.Never less an okay film for something for Universal,but for something like Full Moon its a master piece.The acting was a tiny bit flat,but hey I've seen ALOT worse in Full Moon movies.All in all I enjoyed it.
SLC Punk! (1998)
SLC....actors!
Yeah this movie was funny,but what I dont get is how people take this movie to heart when its just actors portraying punks,or I hear wow they had a great punk scene!....Its a movie.... and this also misguides people who are getting in to the punk scene that they must be an anarchist to be a punk.... This movie was funny but steriotypical,like the opening scene yeah lets go beat up people that are rednecks even though we know NOTHING about them.....if you want a good movie about punk rock.....check out....oops there ISNT one.
The Terror (1963)
A good video.....TO PLAY BASEBALL WITH!!!!
Once is enough! I luckily got through this by makeing fun of it. The great life of a Baron is to sit at the dining table all day,drink coffee and make faces...and a true French luteniant sounds like their from Wisconsin.The only the good things about this movie was hearing Jacks threats against the old lady and that Karloff was a pretty good swimmer for his age.....or were those people helping him....hmmmm.
Sideshow (2000)
An ok piece of cheese.
Out of the three newest Fullmoon films Im aware of(Dead Hate the Living,Killjoy,and Sideshow) I'd say sideshow is the best out of them. If you like so bad so good horror movies,this one is ok....it doesnt suck,its not a Plan from Outerspace or Troll 2.The dwarf was awfully good and Digestina was HOTTTTTT!!!!!This movie is worthy of a bad movie night with your friends. If you want an actual good horror movie then what the HELL are you doing watching Fullmoon films for? Oh yeah for cheese fans....STAY AWAY FROM DEAD HATE THE LIVING!!!!!
The Video Dead (1987)
The worst zombie flick ever.....I think
Wow, Worst zombies I've ever seen!Why? Because the zombies looked like people wearing latex and paint....Oh man you could see where the real skin began and the latex ended,also these zombies had the ability to laugh and they showed interest in materials and they cared how they looked....and as you know the classic zombies only care about killing the living.The acting was horrible! Not as bad as Plan 9 ,but just horrible.And the dialog is just diabolic.....especially about poodles mating with skunks! Of course there is always the not so special effects (the crappy lightning, blood,and smog).But, this movie was very enjoyable to watch and a great laugh.....its a stupid stupid movie.
Also I liked the ending,that was actually pretty cool.
If you liked Troll 2 and/or Children Should'nt Play with Dead Things you'd love this!!!!
Troll 2 (1990)
Troll? ....2 HAHAHAHAAAAA
Just what I was looking for so bad it was good.
For one thing where the hell are the trolls? Instead you have goblins that look like midgets wearing halloween masks and potatoe sacks from K-mart.
Okay , well even though you know the plot from everybody before me Ill just give it out straight,these trolls erm goblins hate humans and they think humans are the parasites that eat meat and the goblins also want to turn the humans into their favorite snack half-human and half plant......no that it self is a schlop....okay yeah the humans dont even look like half plant they just look like green jello with tree brances, and if the goblins hate it how humans eat meat .....then why the HELL are they eating half human trees, humans are made out of meat you stupid static k- mart masked burlap bag wearing midget retards!!!
Oh yeah and howcome if the queen of the goblins is supposed to be rupulsive, howcome she has nice skin? Did anyone notyice that in the still scene those people were moving and the father you can tell, was breathing in his green kool aid. THERE WAY MORE TO IT THAN THIS anyways the movie was pointless but fun as hell!!!! this is a must for bad horror fans!!!! 8/10
Evil Dead II (1987)
Good Horror, Bad Horror, and Comedy.....a lil confusing
Ha well since everbodys basically told the the summary, Ill just say this the story made sense and the special effection were overdone or notsospecial ,the acting was good, THE HAND WAS HILARIOUS!!!
Oh yeah one more thing did anyone notice when ashed was driving ,he crashed through the windshield and just got up....COME ON!!! He'd be decapitated....I just love the whole thing about him being a mechanical genious with his chainsaw...yeah like how its nerve activated! Man, Ive never seen so much smog in anymovie....alotta damn dry ice. I like how like an evil spirit in the morning threw ash like a mile away from the cabin,but when ash gains consiousnes hes only like 16 feet away from the cabin....WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!?? But, those Shemps were cool!!!! A MUST SEE FOR HORROR FANs OF SLASHER, SPLATTER AND GORE , AND B-MOVIES!!!! 8 1/2 out of 10