SparksterInc Reviews

Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002)

A huge disappointment for a fine cartoon

[5/10 · 2 January 2003]

"Hey Arnold!" is one of the few quality TV shows for all kids these days, with a cast of likeable and unique characters and thought provoking episodes. But you won't see much of it here in this disappointing and underwhelming big screen picture. There have been far worse films (supposedly) made for kids in recent years, but that's not to say that this average and generic movie deserved to cash in at the box office, either.

From the opening credits until just before the ending, the film completely lacks the feel of a major motion picture; it feels more like your typical TV movie (This movie, in fact, was originally made for TV). Throughout the first half of the film everything is happening so quickly, that it's difficult to build up any interest for the plot. Midway through the film, I already asked myself why Nickelodeon didn't put this on TV for free instead of milking it for short-term cash.

The two biggest disappointments of the movie was the storyline development itself and the use of the series' characters.

Amidst the rush of the storyline, the film actually does a decent job of building up the conflict between Arnold and the villain, Mr. Scheck. But all of it goes to waste when the multimillionaire Scheck reveals his ridiculous motives. It was very anticlimatic and I didn't take the movie very seriously after that; I thought of at least two alternate ways the movie could've ended (while taking away most of the excitement).

The three main characters in the series (Arnold, Helga, & Gerald) take up most of the film's significance, as they should. But what of the secondary characters (Arnold's grandparents, Phoebe, Sid, Harold, Rhonda, Eugene, and a few others), most which have had at least two of the 100+ episodes based on them? The ability to add depth to these other characters is what helps make the TV show interesting; but here they get shoehorned into this film without being able to help Arnold at all. They remain likeable, but ultimately are not at all memorable. Even the other characters made for this movie (Bridget, the coroner, and the one-legged man) get more of the face time.

Part of the film does focus on the relationship between Arnold and Helga (who passionately loves Arnold even though she pretends to hate him), and the moment when she finally admits her love for him (and how he reacts to it) as the movie nears the final major scene. It's one of the main concepts of the TV show, and the only valuable part of this movie.

Otherwise, this was a very average film with a simplistic and uninspiring story, cluttered with useless characters. This mediocre outing by the show's creators will likely mark the beginning of the end for a fine TV series. Besides, when Nickelodeon still has the Rugrats, Spongebob, and a roster of new hit shows at its disposal, why continue to focus on a cartoon that failed miserably on the biggest stage?

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 TV Movie)

One of the best Christmas tales ever made

[9/10 · 2 January 2003]

The original version of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" is a heartwarming Christmas story, simple in concept but well written and very entertaining. The song "You're a Mean One, Mr Grinch" provides the perfect background music for the Grinch as he literally tries to steal the Whoville holiday season. It also includes excellent narration by Boris Karloff; you can't help but feel scorn for the Grinch's mean-spirited scheme and the sad expression of Cindy Lou Who who catches him in the act. The only knock on this film is the way the story portrays the Grinch's change of character near the end, which is a little soft and silly, and tries too hard to grab the heartstrings. Nevertheless, this Christmas classic as a whole is a wonderful piece to watch with the kids. DO NOT rely on the awful 2000 version of this tale that starred Jim Carrey; find the 30-minute original and watch that one instead.

Ready to Rumble (2000)

A Black Eye on Wrestling Fans Everywhere

[2/10 · 10 May 2001]

This movie will not do wrestling fans justice. It will not keep overzealous critics from bashing the profession out of spite or keep so-called "experts" from overanalyzing it because for them it is not a conventional form of entertainment.

"Ready To Rumble" involves two obsessed wrestling fans by the names of Gordie & Sean who thinks that EVERYTHING in pro wrestling, including the choreographed violence and storylines, are REAL! Even the most misinformed people out there knows that this is not true! What makes matters worse are the characters who seemingly sucker themselves into embracing these guys, including WCW's top rassler, Jimmy King. What buries this movie for good is their inability to pay attention to detail. For example:

• The capacity crowds held in "arenas" that look a lot more like big warehouses. (Which is not surprising, especially if one has watched WCW programming for any length of time & noticed the poor ratings and attendances. Also take into account the fact that almost all mainstream wrestling events are held in much bigger arenas than the ones shown in "Ready To Rumble".)

• The wrestling events themselves, which suffers from a lack of realism. The in-ring action is the most suspicious aspect, as it involves the use of incredibly fake & unrealistic moves such as the "four corner ringpost attack" which the movie claims to be the most devastating move in the business, but is hardly seen in a real wrestling event, if at all, and Diamond Dallas Page surviving a 40 foot fall from the the top of a three-story steel cage onto the mat. The crowd reactions are also fake, as even the most gullible fans will not believe that this could happen even for a split-second.

The movie also includes a few terrible jokes that probably have nothing to do with the plot, except maybe to get few a cheap and meaningless laughs. Some of the jokes include David Arquette stick A FINGER UP HIS BUTT (don't ask me why; see it for yourself), and a few nuns who begin to share Gordie and Sean's love of rock music for some reason (What that reason is, I don't know; I couldn't find any).

All of this spoils what could have been a good movie, because it had a very promising storyline. In the film, Jimmy King is screwed out of the WCW championship without warning by his promoter Titus Sinclair, in a match that takes an unscripted turn. Sinclair strips him of the title because he has an actual dislike for King. Gordie and Sean, being the biggest fans of King, tries to help him get back at Sinclair. This would have been fine for me if not for the fact that the characters of Gordie & Sean are incredibly static throughout the film, in my opinion, as are the other characters. What results is an ending that is completely laughable and will make most viewers think how anyone could embrace these two "heroes".

In summary, what irritates me so much about this movie is that it does nothing to represent pro wrestling in a realistic manner, even for a comedy like "Ready To Rumble". To me, wrestling is no different from other forms of entertainment, except that it is a live action event that is seen very frequently on TV, & its promoters are under constant pressure to provide a fresh, believable product that everyone will like. Therefore I feel that this movie should've presented a legitimate pro wrestling atmosphere and build some comedic elements around it, which it never did. Besides, if you were a fan of something you liked and you saw a movie about it that did not look very realistic, wouldn't you be mad too?

I guess if you're looking for some enjoyment out of this film, I recommend you should watch it with a different mindset. Think of David Arquette as a mediocre actor who is best known for shilling in AT&T ads & being married to Courtney Cox. In addition, think of WCW as a company who saddles itself in bad gimmicks and storylines in its actual shows. Keep these two thoughts in mind & you'll have a good laugh at the expense of those who were involved in this movie. I would buy a copy of this film just so I can laugh and wonder why Arquette would even get close to laying a finger up his rear end.

The Truman Show (1998)

Great Idea, Not-So-Great Execution

[7/10 · 10 May 2001]

I loved the concept of the movie. The idea of a reality show based on one man's life and following each and every of his moves was brilliant, especially when you consider how millions of viewers are attracted to today's "reality" programs, such as "Survivor". I believe this movie alone may have paved the way for some of today's shows and were inspired by real-life shows that preceded the film, most notably MTV's "The Real World". When it's done properly, you get a movie which centers around a man who begins to question what is real in life and what's not as the world that he is raised in begins to unravel. Two major problems, however, plagued what could have been an instant classic.

The first is the lifeless reactions of the viewers. To me, the film portrays the viewers mostly as people who sacrifice their own lives to watch someone else's. Now I know this is true in the lives of millions, but even for a phenomenon like "The Truman Show", a show will also have millions of critics, although not as many as there are supporters. Correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I saw there was only one standout skeptic who understood the whole thing, and there were many more who shared the same views but were not seen or heard at all.

The second and the most unforgivable error was the ending, which I felt was an anti-climatic conclusion to a movie that built up a great deal of drama before it. The ending was terribly written and did not have much depth or thought into it, and its closure was much more predictable than it should've been. I'm not asking for much; I just wanted a final conflict featuring the best and worst of both sides, which I felt didn't happen.

All in all, a 7 rating in my opinion may be a bit sympathetic, but I felt they did everything else so well, only that it deserved better. It featured Jim Carrey expanding his talent and playing his role almost to a tee, backed by a strong supporting cast, and featured a good plot outline and great scenery. I would still recommend this film to anyone, but I would keep in mind the two significant flaws that kept this movie from joining the ranks of the elite.