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Reviews
Security, Colorado (2001)
Yes, it's Art, but...
"Security, Colorado" is an official "Dogme 95" film, but that's about all it's got going for it. The purpose of Dogme's rules of "cinematic chastity," as I understand it, is to free filmmakers from the obligations of technological wizardry and thus to enable them to concentrate on the most basic elements of cinema: a good story; strict verisimilitude; good acting. "Security" features some good acting, but that's about it. I was left somewhat confused: there didn't seem to be any reason for the main character's growing dissatisfaction with her life; her behavior seemed capricious and inexplicable. Adhering to the Dogme vows might make your film capital-a Artistic, but that doesn't necessarily make it a good film. "Security" is certainly watchable, but nothing special. Six stars out of ten.
Heavy Traffic (1973)
Unwatchable garbage
This movie has edged out Tom Green's execrable "Freddy Got Fingered" for the number-one spot on my list of the worst films ever made. This movie is aggressively repellent. It's the worst kind of nihilistic shlock, absolutely reveling in its own amorality and childish obsession with violence, sex, degradation, squalor, and, of course, plenty of crudely-drawn genitalia. There is not a single glimmer of humanity in this freak show. It's literally the worst film I've ever seen.