FreyjaGodsdottir Reviews

Twisters (2024)

I Didn't Know Hallmark Made Disaster Movies

[4/10 · 25 August 2024]

Now look, I'm a woman but I'm absolutely here for my action films and do NOT want them littered with stupidly bad romance. I'll watch Hallmark for that, thank you very much!

Sat down to finally watch this one that my friend -- who admittedly has really terrible taste in movies -- gave a 9/10. I'm more of an indie film buff but I love a good blockbuster. My friend is an action fan too, so I hoped that she'd finally be right about a movie. Nope. I got about halfway through until I wanted to throw things at my TV, had to pause it and take a long break just to calm down.

Finally, I crawled through to the end, screaming obscenities at all of the characters the entire way. Couldn't tell you what even happened (it became so trite and predictable that I mostly scrolled on my phone) -- except that there was good tornado action until there wasn't, and it was a pretty good thriller until someone decided to pander to the female audiences by shifting the entire focus to a really terrible love story between the protagonists.

If you're gonna make a romance happen, at least make it make sense. Don't make it cheesy, fake, and take over the entire plot of the film. Drag it out longer and keep it subtle, while focusing on the action. You can just hear the filmmakers going, "Ooh yay! This will get our female audiences and we'll make LOADS more money!"

Looks like they did -- so maybe Hallmark-core loved it? I definitely did not. D- for this absolute waste of time.

Unconformity (2022)

Lack of Emotional Depth from Actress Prevents Better Rating

[6/10 · 5 September 2023]

This was a cute little movie, and should have been more enjoyable. But the fact that the main actress was giving "super disaffected millennial who dgaf what anyone else thinks or does" ruined it. (And I'm a female Millennial who's been known to give that myself...)

I get that she's kind of supposed to be tough, has been through hell in academia, and is from the East Coast - I have actually been all of those things so I know - but I'm pretty sure it was her green acting and lack of ability to go deeper emotionally into her character that made her eminently unlikable. Not any of the other context.

Either way, it was frustrating because all of the other actors were doing a great job, and the story itself was really engaging. I was glad to see geology getting a highlight! I'm not a scientist, but I'm an avid rock climber, and was really happy to see that also featured in the film.

The actress unfortunately frowned, skulked unnecessarily, and displayed no emotional range - anger and eternal aloofness aside. And you needed that range exactly because the character's emotional journey was supposed to be subtle; it was the focal piece of an otherwise very quiet film. In short? She needed more *heart*.

Stuck it out because I actually cared about what happened to her friend. Worth it if you like indie films with good stories in spite of stiff acting you can't connect to emotionally.

Orphan (2009)

Tl:dr: Really Dumb Parents Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

[4/10 · 3 September 2023]

It's fine as a horror movie but holy HECK were the parents dumb! There aren't plot spoilers, btw - small things that annoyed me to the point it ruined the movie. They don't give away anything big.

1.) As a boy mom, there's no planet on which my son would be allowed to ignore his newly adopted sister on the day she arrived and mess around with friends instead of participating - that's disrespect (he also seemed clearly sad about losing the attention which his dad ignored).

2.) On the kitchen counter, guys? Really - when you have three littles at home who could walk in at any moment? And a newly arrived orphan? SMART.

3.) "geez she doesn't need a shrink" *laughs derisively* Yeah, an orphan who likely has trauma doesn't need therapy. That's for weirdos, not little girls who dress like they're from the 18th century and say really age-inappropriate things. Great call, dad.

4.) Way to go, doing zero research on a kid before you adopt them. Big W.

5.) physically attacking a kid (roses scene)? Yeah you're not over your past enough yet ma'am. They're just roses.

6.)other kids should likely be doing therapy to make sure they are adjusting well to the new sibling...or at least maybe, paid attention to?

7.) if you think the kid is a psychopath, don't keep having phone conversations about her while she's in the house

8.) NOW you pay attention to your son!

9.) ...aaaand then you stop again.

At this point I quit watching because I didn't care what happened anymore. Play stupid games...

The Crowded Room (2023)

Made Me Miss Elliot, Darlene, Tyrell and Co.

[3/10 · 4 July 2023]

There's a certain show that covered the same subject a few years back to great critical acclaim. It's one of my favorite shows of all time. *That* show had me guessing until the very end, not realizing what it was truly about until the last episode. It was sheer brilliance.

This one had me facepalming and yelling at the TV, briefly forgetting that I could just turn the whole thing off. (Whoever is said an AI probably wrote this was 100% correct.) I know Tom Holland stans will be really upset at all the negative reviews, but too bad - those reviews are right.

If you're going to cover well-trod territory, at least do it with some kind of nuance and a well-written screenplay. This is SO boring, it was actually maddening. Didn't make it all the way through (but nearly) and already feel like I watched way too much. I get it already!!! Gahhhh.

This was done SO MUCH BETTER in that other show. Not worth the hours of investment!

Four stars only for Jason Isaacs, Tom Holland and Amanda Seyfried's acting - which couldn't near save it.

Deadloch (2023– )

If Letterkenny, Doc Martin and Ted Lasso Had an Australian Baby

[7/10 · 11 June 2023]

I mean it. If you've heard of Lasso but not the other two, you're spare parts, bud - go get yourself a Puppers and bother some Canadian Gooses. This has more in common with Letterkenny and Doc Martin's humor by far.

If you like good detective series and don't mind a side of raucous Ozzie laughs, give 'er a whirl.

If you come in expecting the next The Killing or Wallander, you'll be crying in that Puppers.

While the murder story is decent - starting itself out with the usual trope of "detective who no longer wants to do detectiving" - it's often directly interrupted by the "loveable small-town idiots" aspect that's at the center of Deadloch and honestly, sets it apart. I found myself laughing aloud far more than I expected to.

If the fact that the two mains are gay annoys you to point of Karening a review that misappropriates the word "woke," well I got nothing for ya, bud. Go bother some Canadian Gooses.

But if you've got a problem with Canadian Gooses, you've got a problem with me - and I suggest you let that one marinate.

Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer (2021)

Gritty, Excellent Doc As Told by the Detectives Who Caught Him

[9/10 · 1 May 2023]

I am blown away by how good this documentary was.

Please let me explain that I have been a true crime aficionado for many years now, and have seen most of the documentaries out there. I knew all about Richard Ramirez. I was not prepared for this to be as excellent or innovative as it was.

The documentary stands apart in the way it tells the entire chain of events as they unraveled, not as if you're a layperson or a "looky-loo"- but as if the detectives are talking to you, as if you are in fact a detective learning your way up the ranks. It balances compassion for all of the victims with an unflinching view of the brutal violence Ramirez unleashed on them (and warning: photos of all of the dead bodies are shown, albeit with eyes and faces blacked out). The detectives bring you into the fold and discuss process, as do the reporters who worked the beat at the time.

One of the most touching interviews is with the woman who was six years old at the time that Ramirez assaulted her. While never falling into gory details, she says enough that it impresses constantly upon you the horror of what this man has done. Even the toughest true crime aficionado will feel moved at her bravery.

Speaking of, I shed tears at the end of this documentary, which is something I can't say I've done with other true crime docs. While the creators did speak to the horrific childhood Ramirez had, they did not do so in a way that took away from any of his huge numbers of victims, nor does it ever make him look like a victim himself. It walks the line perfectly of explaining without apologizing for his actions.

(I mean, any kid who was strung up to a cross as punishment by his father is not going to turn out OK...)

When Ramirez is finally caught, you cheer alongside the Los Angeleans who made it happen. It is a triumph of the justice system, a triumph of the detectives who worked relentlessly to make this happen - and a triumph of the good that we all hope outweighs the evil in human nature.

An absolute must-see.

Im Wald (2022)

Good, Surprising Little Thriller!

[7/10 · 28 January 2023]

I almost believed the one-star review. Don't! Not the best film ever but it entertained me and was exactly what I wanted on this dark and stormy night. I even covered my eyes a few times and I'm an avid horror fan - because I seriously didn't ever know what was going to happen next!

Watch this if:

You want a "it was a dark and stormy night"-type thriller with a creepy vibe. You like action and don't need a lot of hack-n-slash, although you don't mind some blood. You like movies that build tension. You don't mind reading subtitles. You don't mind the paranormal. Twists and turns are your thing. You get super creeped out by the woods.

Movies this draws from: Blair Witch. The Halloween Series. Dead End.

Don't watch if:

You want mile-a-minute action. You need to know what's going on every second. You get super frustrated with some very dumb decisions ("I'm just gonna walk out here alone in the woods for a bit...") You don't want to read subtitles.

Three Pines (2022)

Even Molina and Tattoo Cardinal Can't Save This

[2/10 · 3 December 2022]

Community theater at its semi-finest! This was honestly.... absolutely terrible. I'm sorry to say, it was a neat premise, and I love the fact that they were giving missing and murdered indigenous women a focus. It was cool that it was set in such a beautiful location, up in small-town Québec.

But the positives end there. Literally, nobody except Tatoo Cardinal and Alfred Molina can act. At least not professionally - they might've all done a bit of theater in their hometowns, but they are absolutely unwatchable in this. I'm sorry, I'm sure they're lovely people, but they just aren't actors.

I won't even go into the references to Twin Peaks; that show has been copied, referenced, and straight-up stolen from since its inception. Some have done it well; the show would do best not to mention it. The plot and the writing were ridiculous - caricature after trite caricature. The "snooty wealthy lady" trope was one of the worst I've seen in a while.

I'm sorry to leave such a terrible review, especially because I am a mystery writer myself, and absolutely devour Nordic Noirs (and honestly, any good mystery series). I had high hopes, but couldn't really make it past the first episode. It was just that bad.

Rust Creek (2018)

Surprisingly Good Little Indie Film

[8/10 · 24 November 2022]

As others have said, this thriller isn't going to be mile-a-minute action. It's no Bourne Identity. But that's entirely the point.

It's a small, quiet indie film with some surprisingly good little twists, and ends up as more of a reflection on human connection in the unlikeliest of places. There's intrigue, local baddies, and definitely some running around through the woods being chased. The actress playing Sawyer is actually really good and keeps you interested the entire time. (And the girl knows how to defend herself!)

I expected it to be trite; it wasn't. I expected I knew where it was going; I didn't. This is not a big Hollywood action movie. There are quiet spaces between the action where other things happen...

I love a good big-budget thriller but I really liked this film. Give it a try. It wasn't perfect, but nobody's asking it to be.

8/10 for strong acting, avoiding Hollywood tropes, and being deeper than I expected.

Home Before Dark (2020– )

Good for School-Aged Kids ONLY

[3/10 · 22 November 2022]

I feel bad writing this, because something tells me the actors in the show might actually look at these reviews. But... the child actor was really awful. I mean I know, she's a kid, I get it... But she was actually so terrible I couldn't even get through the first episode.

If you're going to have a child carry an entire TV show, she needs some facial expressions - or, at least, something other than a constant look of forced concern. I hope for this child's sake that she gets more coaching as she grows, and becomes a good adult actor - but she didn't carry. Not even a little.

The older sister was great. The other actors were fine. I wouldn't even disparage the plot, because I was expecting something childish, cute and quaint... But I didn't believe a single word of anything the main character said. It was super clear she was reading lines of things she didn't even understand. Avoid unless you are under the age of 14!

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

Hitchcock, David Lynch, Tim Burton, Jordan Peele Did it Better

[5/10 · 12 November 2022]

This is ingenius, if you don't know what came before it. This is extraordinarily groundbreaking, if you haven't seen the directors I mention above (among so many others). The idea that "a perfect little 1950s town isn't all it's cracked up to be/there's mystery bubbling under the surface" is honestly just tired.

Watching yet another rendition of it is like watching another entry into the Groundhog Day trope, or hearing yet another rendition of the song "Hallelujah." You'd better be adding something really original to your cover or what's the point?

In this case, there's nothing new to see here, folks - let's move along. I was a little bit invested but somewhere towards the 3/4 mark I quit caring. You've got to keep your audience interested. You've got to give them some knowledge of the truth, a carrot at the end of the stick. Nope, we don't get it. Just "consta-mystery" with no reveals. Or at least, nothing very exciting or shocking.

Don't bother to let me know what happened at the end; I've since moved on to far more interesting films.

Disappointing and mediocre. 5 stars for the actors, who had to muddle through the muddy, pointless, plot that we've all seen done better elsewhere.

Chloe (2022)

Anna Delvey, Detective!

[7/10 · 7 November 2022]

Well, if Anna Delvey was less interested in money and status, and more interested in solving her childhood friend's murder, that is...

Call me pleasantly shocked. I started this series knowing next to nothing about it, just picking it at random from suggestions. Figured I would do laundry while it was on in the background. Ended up sitting straight in front of it and doing nothing but watching as the story unraveled.

If you like a good whodunit, solved by an ordinary person who happens to be good at using identities that aren't her own - this is for you. It was a bit slow at times, but well enough told that it made up for any lags in timeline. The rando love scenes in the beginning were awkward, cringey and out of place. Keep in mind that the protagonist herself is growing and learning, and as such she has a few bumps along the way that may seem frustrating to the viewer. But they are perfectly natural in the context of who she is and what she still has to learn.

Pull up a seat, grab a hot toddy and stay for the long haul. It takes a bit to get going and you think you know where it's headed, until you don't. And even when you do, do you think you know how it's going to achieve its ending, only to be pleasantly surprised by how it doesn't follow pure convention. Well done.

The League (I) (2009–2015)

I'm Female and This is One of the Funniest Shows Ever

[9/10 · 26 August 2022]

I'm a girl (yes I play fantasy football), and this is one of the funniest shows I've ever seen! (We're not all nagging, humorless sports haters, ya know..). A boyfriend got me into it but I've seen the whole thing four times now. Agree that it kind of dies in the final season, but the first 6 are solid gold. All of my team names have come from it (and no, not "password is taco" - way too obvious) and countless inside jokes ("it is deciiiiiided!" "Ratings slave" "height supremacist" and so many others...)

You have to have a pretty immature sense of humor, for sure, but I absolutely laugh until I cry every time I watch. Mark Duplass is a genius. It's even more amazing when you know that most of it was improvised!

It feels kinda dated but if you played fantasy/watched football from 2010-2015 you'll know all the names. You need to see this... IT IS DECIDED!

The Blackwell Ghost 6 (2022)

Wow...Horror Buff and LOVED This Series!!

[9/10 · 22 July 2022]

Other horror films I like lots, for context: Hereditary; It Follows; Halloween; Us; The Host; Ringu (Japanese Ring); Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum; The Haunting of Hill House; Turn of the Screw; Cabin in the Woods

Tl; dr: Really fun viewing, and worth watching all the (short) films. Would be good on Halloween! Definitely watch in order for maximum enjoyment.

Color me shocked. I went into this film series with very low expectations. In fact, I started halfway through the series because someone said that would be fine. Honestly? I was a bit confused and figured I would just start back at the beginning. I'm now convinced you SHOULD watch all the way through; the character grows on you. That matters.

Started out by hardly paying attention and mostly watching my phone, until I realized I was riveted, watching the TV more than my phone. (My teenage son had the same experience when I watched it with him the second time through.)

By number 6, I was hooked to the screen. I even downloaded 4-6 to watch on a flight to Florida - and barely realized I'd flown! I won't provide spoilers but will say that the last one has an amazing ending that I loved. My teenage son agreed - and he's a horror snob (A24 films only!!) - so that's saying a lot.

Definitely watch this. Turner Clay is an amazing human and tells a really good story with the series. Start at film #1, and you'll hopefully be as hooked as I was by the time you get here! Definitely worth the build to the end.

Ghost Ship (2002)

Five for Intro - But That Extended Techno Scene?!

[5/10 · 17 July 2022]

... if you've seen the movie then you know the techno scene I mean. It was the early 2000s, I get I...think I saw this back then, but don't remember (college days!). This isn't a spoiler because I'm not giving any details. But... WHAT??!

That was the most ridiculous scene I have seen in a movie in a long time and I could not stop laughing! Still, it made the movie perfectly campy enough for me to kind of enjoy it. And all of the actors!

Like everyone says, you should see this for the intro scene. Hands-down one of the best horror scene intros ever. Otherwise, this is an incredibly moronic, predictable, slow moving movie with the trope "terrible decision-making." Have fun, kids!

A Lonely Place to Die (2011)

A Fun Little Romp Through Scotland

[6/10 · 12 July 2022]

First off, were bad choices made? Of course! (As they are in most thrillers.) Was the climbing realistic? I'm a rock climber, and a lot of terrible choices were made there also. But it could've been a lot worse.

Anyway, never mind all that! You're not here to see a documentary on climbing. This movie delivered exactly what I needed: a brief break from boring routine, and enough suspense to keep me (mostly) on the edge of my seat. I thought it was fun!

I wouldn't pay a lot of attention to the really awful reviews; nobody is expecting a life-altering film here, but I'm really glad I watched it. Do it while you're folding laundry or if you just kind of want to get your mind off of things! It won't disappoint.

Behind Her Eyes (2021)

NOT a Harlan Coban-style Mystery

[6/10 · 6 July 2022]

Really a 5.5 at best. For any of you who, like me, thought you were signing up for a Harlan Coban-style British whodunnit, you're very wrong.

Don't get me wrong; I see why people didn't like it. The difference is that I decided to throw my hat in and go along for the ride regardless of where it went. Without any spoilers, I will tell you that the ending did surprise me. I wasn't expecting it mainly because I wasn't expecting anything to be out of the ordinary when I picked this show.

You have to be willing to suspend disbelief and give up your traditional mystery. You have to be willing to grab some snacks and watch a completely silly and fun show. If you give into it, it may surprise you. Nothing deep about this and my biggest gripe was that there's ZERO chemistry between Louise and the doc. None! They're both decent actors and both attractive, they just seemed like they didn't like each other in real life or something.

Have fun and enjoy the ride!

The Terminal List (2022– )

Punisher!

[8/10 · 2 July 2022]

This isn't meant as a spoiler because I'm not completely done yet and I don't know what will happen. But the show really reminded me of Punisher in the best of ways. Also, it took me a while to figure out that Tommy Riggs from Friday Night Lights plays his brother! So great to see that guy again.

I am not a Chris Pratt fan but he does an amazing job. I was not sure where this story would go and there are so many twists and turns - can't wait to see how it all ends up! I would love to hear what military folks think about this because it seems legit, and I had to look up a couple of terms because they don't spoonfeed it to you. They just talk. You have to kind of catch up, which I appreciate.

Definitely worth it if you are looking for something to binge!

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

Salt and Burn! Where are Sam and Dean?!

[5/10 · 23 June 2022]

Sadly, it's a no from me. Too many found footage films have done this far better. The acting was great, no doubt - Especially from a pro like Anne Ramsey. And Jill Larson must've had such a ball with this intense role! She did brilliantly. All of them did.

The material just wasn't good enough to hold me. The idea was freaky enough in itself; I just knew when every jump scare was going to happen and nothing surprised me. In fact I kind of giggled at the fact that these documentarists were so shocked by everything... Haven't they seen Paranormal Activity??! :)

I know that this was made back in 2014 and unfortunately I think we've all been bombarded with found footage since then. If you're looking for some of the best of the genre, I highly recommend Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum and of course the OG, Blair Witch (if you can stand the annoying camera antics and lead character). Haunted House, LLC is also fun! Good premise on this one but just fell short for me.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (2002)

This is a Film Noir!

[7/10 · 3 February 2022]

I don't want to ruin anything, so that's all I'll say. This is decidedly *not* a cute Audrey Tautou romance. I actually thought it was fine, mainly because it pulled the wool over my eyes. Dark stuff, but more interesting than I was expecting!

Happy Endings (2011–2013)

Offensively bad and basic...

[2/10 · 20 June 2021]

"Half-black is God's photoshop" is one of the most offensive lines I've ever heard. (And I'm white.) Just...NO. Even beyond that, the middlebrow writing and basic, predictable humor should have you skipping this one anyway. As Wayne from Letterkenny would say, "That's a HARD no." Come to think of it, do yourself a favor and go watch that instead!

Evil (2019–2024)

Basically "Supernatural" and "Lucifer" meet "Luther"

[6/10 · 4 October 2020]

I guess I thought the show would have more of a prolonged mystery around the idea that the line between personality disorders and "possession" is thin. It was an interesting and fun premise. It didn't last long.

Without getting into spoiler territory, I will say that I absolutely loved the main actors, but not where the storyline quickly headed. Not enough mystery; too much "monster of the week."

And yes! The bad guys seem to be largely white males. If this makes you feel victimized - then you are feeling what so many of us disenfranchised populations often feel. It sucks when your race or gender is portrayed as evil, or a complete idiot! I totally feel you.

As for the girls screaming? As a parent I can say that if I had four kids - screaming would be pretty normal behavior! It was annoying but realistic.

Not a bad show and had some good jump scares. I just wasn't really expecting a "Luther" (the murders reminded me of this) + "Lucifer" (the jokiness reminded me of the few episodes of this that I made it through)... and although I loved "Supernatural," parts did remind me of that also (I.e., recurring characters whose job is to fight evil vs. recurring "loveably hateful" characters).

Sam and Dean did it better.

You (2018–2024)

Wasn't Surprised by "Twist"; Still a Fun Binge!

[8/10 · 29 December 2019]

No spoilers here -- but within the first 15 minutes of Season 2 of this show, I said, "Oh! I hope X and Y happen at the end! That would be so cool," and X and Y totally happened at the end. And it was definitely cool!

So yeah, no, not a twist for me, but still totally fun to watch in the background all day while I had a bunch of boring admin work to do on my laptop, on a freezing-cold Saturday. The characters are always pretty fun in this series, and there are a plethora of new people to love (and hate) in Season 2.

I still managed to get my busywork done (which is why this only got 8 stars), but I definitely stopped working more than a few times to avidly follow the action on screen, and found myself cracking up laughing at a certain character's cameo/lines towards the end (won't ruin that for anyone but it's hilarious). We also get a bit more by way of the "why" for Penn Badgley's complexly-dark-yet-somehow-likable Joe Goldberg.

I think it's safe to say you'd be pretty lost if you didn't see Season 1 of this show, though. Go back and watch that (also a ton of fun!), and then hit up Season 2. Especially if you're sick/stuck inside doing boring work -- it'll definitely keep you entertained for a day!

Marianne (2019)

So, So Good! Démentiel :)

[7/10 · 26 October 2019]

I'm an American who lived in France as a teen, and selfishly, I love it when a great series is in French so I get to practice! This one rocked my world. It's creepy, it's eerie, it's real, it even gets silly - and it's got in-your-face jump scares and brazen "LOOK AT ME/REGARDE-MOI" evil things. Folk horror at its best!

First off, I don't want to imply that "Marianne" is derivative - but I'd be lying if I said it didn't pay hommage to *several* sources (other than the obvious Stephen King references).

First: the French love David Lynch, and I loved the nuanced nods to Twin Peaks (the floor of the Black Lodge appearing on the old lady's tea tray; the quirky music). I also happen to be a "gamer girl," and loved the Life is Strange vibe (the lighthouse; two young girls with potential sexual chemistry; one of whom left town at 15). Blair Witch gets a nod, too ... And finally, I kept having to check whether Ari Aster had a hand in this film - Hereditary seems to be one of its "familiars."

So cuddle up with a blanket on a stormy October night, grab some snacks, and start this one up with your hand across your eyes because it begins with a BANG. Whatever you do, don't forget to leave the lights on...you'll need them!

Hell House LLC (2015)

Super Fun & Frightening Little Halloween Flick!

[8/10 · 8 August 2019]

See this if: -You want something fun, short, and scary enough to watch (at least at times) through your hands -You want to get in the Halloween mood, but don't want to commit to something as deep as Ari Aster or Jordan Peele -You're not overly sick of found-footage films -You liked Cloverfield and Blair Witch Project (maybe even found them pretty scary) and won't mind at least two scenes "inspired by" Blair Witch -You won't get super triggered by people not getting out when they oh, so clearly should -You don't need every film you see to be 10/10, or so deep that you're still discussing it for days afterward -You don't need to have *every single thing* that happens in a film explained to you in great detail -You're ready to be pleasantly surprised by this movie NOT being bad at all!

As pretty big horror buffs, we didn't regret watching this on a dark, rainy day, after it came randomly across our feed. I will say that I do agree with the lower-star reviewers who were angry about people "not getting out" -- they're not wrong!! We even laughed about the main characters' choices. The difference is, it didn't deter me from liking the film or watching through my hands for lots of it. The scares were solid, the story was compelling, and I thought the filmmakers did a good job overall.

I don't regret spending a couple hours on it, and will probably sleep with the lights on tonight! :)