sky7e Reviews

How Bill the Burglar Got a Bath (1899)

Quite a Mystery, no?

[9 May 2001]

Contains Spoiler

Though this movie is only 17 seconds long, it is certainly action packed. Bill, the titular Burglar, is based upon President Taft's treasury secretary, who certainly burgled quite a few hearts during his rise to power.

Spoiler Alert: At the end of this film, Bill gets doused with liquid, causing him to be wet. I have several problems with this movie. Notably the woman in question does not shave her armpits and appears a little risque for a turn of the century woman. Plus, the burglar genre had been exhausted by this point, and filmmakers had managed virtually everything a man wearing a mask over his eyes, a lorry hat, and black clothes could achieve in less than 30 seconds. Watch it on its own on a dreary Wednesday, or watch a large number of them in your radiation proof bunker under Boulder Mountain as you await the apocalypse.

The Tramp and the Giant Firecracker (1898)

Fantastic, if you like watching Bums get hurt

[10/10 · 8 May 2001]

If you like hoboes being maimed and beat up, brother, I have a series for you! Check out what passed for humor two centuries ago. I am the great great grandson of the Tramp in that film and I regret to see my great great grandpa treated like a common foreigner.

Cat Food (1967)

Exactly what it sounds like! Mee-yow!

[2/10 · 8 May 2001]

Rarely has such an exciting documentary been unleashed upon the moviegoing public. This film actually shows the production of cat food, from the grinding up of horses for the meat, to the canning, to the friendly man who drives the truck to the grocery store. Never have I learned so much about cat food, nor the historical significance of cat food. Also in the film is the amazing story of an 86 year old woman who eats cat food. It's nutritious and it makes your coat shiny. Won 3 major awards for best documentary of 1969, and clips have been featured on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood (who can forget the "visit" to the cat food factory?) and Nickelodeon's non defunct "Pinwheel" **** out of five

Ghosts 'n Goblins (1985 Video Game)

It's not what you think!

[5/10 · 4 May 2001]

In the crazy world of Ghosts 'n Goblins, our hero, Arthur, the deformed weirdo must fight against (Spoiler alert) the DEVIL himself in order to save the princess Penelope. Sadly, there are not nearly enough ghosts, n' few, if any goblins. Goblins are good though, especially the Green Goblin. If he were in the game, you could jump on him and hit him with your magic lance. See the movie for more details on the brave knight Arthur.

Magnum, P.I.: Don't Eat the Snow in Hawaii (1980) Season 1, Episode 1

Mind Blowing Special Effects and hilarious comedy

[4 May 2001]

Ok, I watched the Magnum P.I. series religiously, and even I couldn't believe the twists and turns in this laff-a-minit thrill ride. No way Tom Selleck couldn't prove he wasn't the super stud for all time. He shows off his package for minutes at a time, and don't think that Judge Reinhold! isn't looking. You find out the truth about Magnum, including why he's called Magnum, and along the way laugh and love with our hero. Watch the boat explode at the beginning, and the fight with a giant squid and also the girls in bikinis make this the movie of a lifetime. 3 thumbs up.

Summer School (1987)

I've never laughed or learned so much!

[10/10 · 8 March 2000]

This is an excellent addition to the canon of Dean Cameron works. This proves why he is now the hottest upcoming young star of the '80's. Rumor has is that he got the role through his friendship with Bruce Willis. Joel Siegel wrote in his last book that this movie is his closet favorite. It's mine too. And it should be yours. 10/10, Five Stars. Look for KIrsty Alley in her pre-Veronica's closet days.

Yes: 9012 Live (1985 Video)

Don't stop a-rockin'!

[10/10 · 7 March 2000]

I never thought I had seen Yes perform until I viewed this. Sure, You probably won't find it in your local video store or even bootleg on eBay, this is the definitive version of 90125 and anyone who ever liked music should watch it. Knobgobblingly good, this film has been underrated by film and music critics such as Rolling Stone and Bob Guccione. Nevertheless, time will prove them successful masters of their genre. On par with A Hard Day's Night.