bloop Reviews

Teenage Space Vampires (1999)

Stupid, poorly scripted, horribly acted, mediocre effects... But darn funny.

[1/10 · 1 January 2000]

This is one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. If you're looking for a nice theatrical effect, skip it and watch something else.

But if you're looking for camp-value, this is it. Here's my advice: Gather a few sarcastic friends and watch the movie strictly for the purpose of making fun of it.

Titanic (1997)

What is wrong with you people?

[10/10 · 26 May 1999]

First of all, I'm a guy and Titanic was not even close to the worst waste I've seen in my life. Granted, L.A. Confidential in particular was totally robbed of the awards it should have gotten (if the Oscars aren't so discredited by now, it should be disassembled anyway), but what you have is a pretty decent movie.

First of all, some say Leo can't act. Well, he can, but he wasn't handed much of a script for this one.

Secondly, the romantic story has been done before, and better, in some Disney movies (Pauper marries the Princess-type stories).

There is a lot to say in its credit. The message is very anti-materialistic, something the U.S. desperately needs. The FX and detail that went into the sinking of the ship was also very good. It seems like those that totally oppose this movie are doing it for one and only one reason, "Star Wars". I like "Star Wars" more than Titanic, but in the end both movies were VERY successful in their times so what's with the bitterness? Also, if you consider the "Star Wars" films as being one (since they are continuous), then it kicks the tar out of any movie ever made. So enough of the bad blood between SW fans and Titanic fans. They are both good movies totally unlike each other. Titanic gets 3 and 1/2 bloops (out

of four).