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mikeg2
Reviews
Slam Dance (1987)
Not exactly Hitchcock
One of those thrillers that isn't half as clever as it thinks it is, and which half the time leaves you wondering what the heck is going on.
Tom Hulce is a "struggling artist" who lives in a dingy apartment in Hollywood. He has a daughter with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, but they split up because Tom prefers to spend his time drinking, painting, and having casual sex with women he meets at a club owned by Adam Ant. Tom also spends a lot of time laughing at his own cartoons, which are painfully unfunny yet somehow earn him enough to pay the rent.
The first half-hour of the movie is unfathomable. There are a few comedic moments as we see Tom's home life, his daughter, and his broken relationship. Then, Tom comes home to a ransacked apartment and a confrontation with a scary dude in a red coat and dark glasses. Mr. Redcoat whacks Tom, and when he wakes up he's in a car with Redcoat and some other strange men. Redcoat demands Tom gives him "something" that "she" gave to him, but Tom doesn't appear to know anything about the "she" or the "something" that Redcoat is referring to. Redcoat is not happy about this, and pushes Tom out of the car, whereupon he's almost squashed by a large truck.
Tom goes to the police, and he then realises who the "she" was. Tom recently had casual sex with a woman (Virginia Madsen) whom he met at Adam Ant's club (it is later revealed that she was a prostitute, but Tom did not know this at the time). She has been found dead, and Tom was the last person to see her alive, so he's now in the frame for her murder.
Various other elements are brought into play, such as a society scandal, some incriminating photographs, a good cop, a corrupt cop, and an extremely powerful and wealthy society lady (who turns out to be behind the plot, her intention being to frame and ultimately kill Tom so that his paintings, many of which she owns, will rise in value). It's all faintly ridiculous, and progresses in such a jarring and disjointed way that it feels as though your brains are being scrambled.
There are a few priceless moments, but these aren't enough to redeem the film. What could have been an erotic scene - Tom getting to grips with a very naked Lisa Niemi - turns into extreme farce, as Tom's little daughter walks in and says "hi", completely unfazed (she's clearly used to seeing strange nude women in Daddy's apartment!) Mary then walks in, and she is somewhat less approving, so Tom desperately tries to make excuses and fails badly ("Is she a model?" "No, she's a secretary" - D'OH!) Mary storms out and Tom chases after her, to no avail. When he returns to the apartment, he finds Lisa dead (he actually trips over and lands face first in her pubic hair), so he ultimately decides he has to go on the run.
Tom goes to Mary's house and tricks her into letting him in, in the hope of finding refuge. Then, Adam Ant walks into the room wearing only a pair of underpants and a silly hat, and Tom slumps into a chair looking defeated and betrayed. This is probably the funniest moment in the whole movie.
Eventually, Tom manages to unravel the entire thing (he's doing better than the audience at this point) and he confronts Wealthy Society Lady at an outdoor party, where all of the guests (several hundred of them) appear to be in on her plot. Redcoat is assigned to drive Tom up to the Hollywood sign and kill him, but for some reason he shoots himself instead, allowing Tom to make his escape.
Tom asks Mary to meet him in a hotel room, which she does, but she brings along the Good Cop (Harry Dean Stanton) for support. Unfortunately, Corrupt Cop turns up as well and after a standoff, both cops are dead. Tom realises he is in it up to his neck and decides his only way out is to fake his own death, with Mary's help and support. Tom goes back up to the Hollywood sign, where Redcoat's body is still in the car. He takes Redcoat's dark glasses, sets the car alight and makes a dash for it.
The final scene is at "Tom's" funeral. Mary and daughter, wearing funereal clothes, get into a car. The camera pans and we see the car is being driven by a smiling Tom, who has disguised himself as Redcoat by wearing his dark glasses and combing his hair. Cue end credits; gnashing of audience teeth.
The major plot developments are unconvincing, and the conclusion unsatisfying. Too many things are left unsaid. What was Adam Ant's role in all of this? Was he in on the whole thing? Did he set Tom up with prostitutes so he could jump into bed with Mary? How did Corrupt Cop become wound up in the plot? Part of the problem is that we don't care what happens to Tom, as he is such an unlikeable character. He cheats on his wife and (knowingly or otherwise) uses hookers. He laughs at his own jokes, he appears to be mad, whiny, and delusional, and is capable of extreme violence (witness the extremely unpleasant scenes with his elderly landlady - is this supposed to be a guy we're meant to root for?) At one point, I thought there was going to be a split personality twist, where Tom and Redcoat turned out to be the same person. It's not that type of movie, though.
Sometimes, an inscrutable plot can reward an audience willing to think outside the box and unravel it. However, Slam Dance has such poorly-acted, two-dimensional characters with unconvincing motivations, you get the impression that it simply isn't worth the effort.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Amazingly funny
This movie is undoubtedly one of the greatest comedies of the 1980s (I was going to say "American comedies", but I can't think of any non-American ones that are funnier). It's such a tragedy that John Candy is no longer with us - he was a hilarious guy, and never more so than in this film. What could have been just a wacky, dime-a-dozen bad taste comedy turns out to be a heart-warming feel-good movie with real emotional depth, thanks in no small part to Candy's performance here.
"Planes, Trains & Automobiles" was a significant departure for John Hughes, who was previously best known for "teen angst" high school comedies such as "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club". Steve Martin is a cynical, highly-strung marketing executive who is flying home to Chicago for a family Thanksgiving dinner, only for his flight to be cancelled. On the way, he has the misfortune to bump into John Candy, a bumbling blabbermouth who makes a living selling shower curtain rings, and who is on the way to Chicago too. Steve hates poor John from the outset, but manages to rub along with him through the chaos of cancelled flights, shared hotel rooms (and double beds!), exploding cars and broken-down trains, in the vain hope that he gets back home to his family before the turkey goes cold. Of course, along the way, he decides that he doesn't half like old John after all, and they become reluctant buddies.
The happiness fades to tragedy when John reveals that his loving wife died eight years previously, and that he no longer has a home - the travelling life is now all he knows. Steve is sufficiently touched by this that he invites John home for an extra-large portion of turkey, and they all live happily ever after. Hooray!
There are so many funny moments it's difficult to pick a favourite. The moment when Steve realises he's been drying his face with Candy's Y-fronts, the spooning scene in the motel room bed, the various mishaps with the rental car - these are all up there. The F-word fest when Steve finally confronts the smug car rental clerk is also hilarious, even if it is a little bit incongruous in what is otherwise a family comedy (without this scene, the film could easily have been a PG). Mind you, part of it's appeal is that it's unexpected - it wouldn't have been half as funny if the rest of the movie was peppered with cuss words.
Kevin Bacon's scene early in the movie is great - the facial expressions are priceless - but he was a little bit wasted here, as he doesn't crop up again later in the film. I have heard that a much longer cut of the movie exists in Paramount's archives, and I have to wonder if there was an entire subplot involving Bacon that ended up on the cutting room floor. (Note to Paramount: a Special Edition DVD release is sorely needed!) What else can I say - it's John Hughes's best movie bar none, and it's John Candy's finest hour too. You must see this.
Children of Men (2006)
Largely excellent, but slightly annoying in places...
Scene: 20 years from now. Britain is under the yoke of a fascist regime, a virtual police state in which ID cards are required at all times and illegal immigrants are herded into holding pens for deportation. Crazed feral savages roam the land, ambushing cars and throwing rocks at trains for no apparent reason, and the state TV channel pumps out propaganda 24/7.
It doesn't sound all that much different from 2007, but I digress.
The macguffin here is that the world is in the grip of a fertility crisis, no humans having been born for over 18 years. As the film begins, the world's youngest human - the last person ever born - has just been killed by a crazed fan, and a wave of Diana-style emotional incontinence ensues. Enter Clive Owen, a mild-mannered civil servant with a troubled past. One day, he is snatched off the street by his ex girlfriend who, it turns out, now runs some sort of pro-immigrant paramilitary organisation. She has an immigrant in her care whom she wants to smuggle out of the country for some reason, and she needs our Clive to provide the necessary documents.
Of course, when Clive meets the young immigrant she is up the stick in a major way, and his task is to transport her to some sort of offshore fertility research centre so she can be prodded and experimented on in the name of saving the human race. But he doesn't just have the Government to worry about - some rogue individuals hatch a plan to off his girlfriend and keep the pregnant girl to fuel their own ambitions...
The acting here is superb, with excellent performances from Owen, and from Michael Caine as "Jasper" (who may or may not be Clive's dad, there's a nice bit of ambiguity there). Charlie Hunnam steals the show as the Geordie traitor, Patric - "Blaydon Races" has never sounded so sinister! The cinematography is brilliant and creates just the right atmosphere; the car ambush scene has to be seen to be believed. The story is gripping, with just the right number of twists and turns to keep you interested.
There are a few niggles, however. The ending of the movie is a little annoying and leaves us with several unanswered questions (like, what happens next? Is humanity saved?) The movie doesn't explain how the world came to be in such a state of anarchy (was it entirely because of the fertility crisis, or would it have happened anyway?) or how women came to be infertile. A bit of fleshing out here would have helped the story enormously.
I also have a problem with the political stance of the movie, which I found to be too one-sided and simplistic. There are a number of pro-Muslim set pieces, perhaps alluding to the Israeli/Palestinian situation. The film-makers seem to be saying that Islam (or religion in general?) offers a path to peace, without articulating how or why.
The pro-immigration guys are mostly heroic freedom fighters, acting for the good of humanity, whereas the Government agents are a bunch of callous and sadistic fascists (there are a lot of non-too-subtle allusions to the Third Reich and the Holocaust here, particularly in the detention camp scenes). The Government may in fact have had perfectly legitimate reasons for wanting to restrict immigration, but this side of the argument is not shown here.
Overall, though, this is an extremely enjoyable movie, and I look forward to the inevitable sequel.
Titanic (1997)
A sinking feeling...
Take any cheesy love story worthy of Mills and Boon. Set it against one of the worst shipping disasters of modern times, being sure to pad the story out so the film overruns by at least two hours. Add in some "ground breaking" special effects, and you have yourself an Oscar-winning epic, 1997-style.
Anachronisms abound. (Rose giving the "finger" - I half expected her to say "kiss my ass!") The "class warfare" angle is ridiculously overplayed, and just in case we *really* don't get it, no mention is made of the fact that the Titanic had classes of accommodation other than "first" and "steerage". Presumably the second class passengers spent the entire time below decks.
When the truth doesn't fit the class agenda, Cameron simply makes it up - witness the steerage class passengers locked below decks while the toffs boarded the lifeboats, and the officer who murders several passengers before turning a gun on himself (a shameful fiction which did not please the real fellow's living relatives; Cameron was forced to apologise).
"Titanic" was condemned in some sections of the English press as an "anti-English" film. In truth, it's simply a lazy movie which exploits Hollywood clichés (hence the English-accented villains) and twists the truth to suit its own prejudices.
In summary, "Titanic" is a dull, uninspired film which does the Titanic story a disservice. If this is the template that Cameron is using, I sincerely hope he doesn't have a "9/11" movie in the pipeline. "Titanic" could scarcely have been less credible if Cameron had filmed an all-out action adventure, with Arnie in the title role, and it would surely have been more entertaining!