almaric Reviews

Penny Dreadful (2006)

Painfully Dreadful

[18 November 2006]

A movie that lives up to it's title, and man, oh man, was this one dreadful.

Racheal Miner and Mimi Rogers are two women out traveling who make the mistake of picking up a hitchhiker.....always a mistake in a horror film. That's not the only cliché this beautifully shot, but overall weak, effort employs...

Most of the action takes place in a parked car as the hitchhikers toys with Miner who is trapped inside. For well over an hour we're forced to listen to Miner cry, scream, and whine - a true waste of this woman's talent. After 5 minutes of her emotional breakdown, the audience at the AFTER DARK HORROR FEST were laughing in all the wrong places and yelling for the killer to either hurry up and kill Miner or put us out of our misery. Easily, the worst film of that particular festival.

GhostWatcher 2 (2005 Video)

A creepy follow up to Ghostwatcher

[2 October 2005]

I went to the premier of GHOSTWATCHER 2 last night and enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It's a far more ambitious story with greater emphasis on characters.

Directer David Cross excels at creating tension, something that hard for microcinema movie makers to achieve when shooting on video. He's even able to achieve a few good jump scares.

The acting is far superior than the standard shot on video horror effort, and credit needs to be given to Julia Pickens who plays Tracy Cain. Her performance stands out as she convincingly portrays the full emotional spectrum. If she's able to maintain this level of acting, she's destined for stardom.

Something to Scream About (2003 Video)

A documentary, not a fluff piece.

[16 June 2004]

Jason Paul Collum got it right with this one, a documentary probing the scream queen phenomenon that tackles real topics instead of going the easy route with hot tubs and lingering cheesecake shots.

Collum reveals all the actresses interviewed to be intelligent and sensible, something that goes against the popular ideology of the scream queen since the 1980's. Fans should be pleased to see that the public will learn that there's more to their favorite actresses then just good looks - brains too.

Topics range from public perception of their respective personas to enjoyment of the genre that made them famous. Some of the ladies look back on their time with fondness while others seem to have some disdain for where the industry is headed.

Well worth tracking down.

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Surprisingly sweet and endearing comedy about porn stars

[21 March 2004]

Walking in, I didn't expect much other than an easy way to end an otherwise boring day. Thanks to the ultra-gorgeous Ms. Cuthbert, I was able to put the day to bed on a high note. She shows much more range in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR then she's ever been allowed to show in 24. Without her, the otherwise formulaic RISKY BUSINESS clone wouldn't have been anywhere near as enjoyable. It just goes to show you that a little charm goes a long way and can make for a truly sweet and endearing movie.

One would be remiss to let the amazing soundtrack go unmentioned. Every song fits every scene perfectly. It's a shame that no soundtrack is currently available.

Lethal Force (2001)

One of the finest Underground Movies of all time.

[31 August 2002]

Gotta love hyperbole.... ....but you can't throw enough of the stuff at Lethal Force, a movie that succeeds at satirizing almost every action sub-genre imaginable. Everything about Lethal Force is over the top, from the comedy to the extreme gore in the finally. It's hard for anyone to not like this movie.

Terror Toons (2002 Video)

Wild Stuff!

[31 August 2002]

It's hard to classify this movie. Part cartoon, part horror, all Joe Castro. By far, the most original horror title I've seen released by a distributor in a long time. It will be interesting to see what Joe has coming up next, as I'm sure it'll be hard to top this one.

Mistress Frankenstein (2000 Video)

Seduction Cinema's Best Movie?1?

[23 February 2002]

I know a good number of people who consider this to be their favorite of all the Seduction Cinema titles. The main reason being that the there's a truly goofball sense of humor that dominates the entire production. Darian Cain makes the best of her role as a lesbian Frankenstein creature who hits on women at random with awfully trashy pick-up lines (you know the ones - "was your father a theif? He stole the stars from the heavens....").

Peroxide Passion (2001)

Much better than I expected.

[22 February 2002]

I admit that I'm a sucker for a romantic comedy, as long as the movie truly is romantic and a comedy. Many films today are incredibly mean-spirited and unfunny, which is a true shame. It feels like the innocence of the RC is lost.

PEROXIDE PASSION is a throw-back to the days of the screwball comedy with modern independent sensibilities and it works wonderfully. Picture a modern version of IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT and you'll understand where this one is coming from.

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (1992)

My favorite of the original Tempe Video Releases

[21 February 2002]

This is really bad videomaking, but who cares, the one has charm to spare. For me, that goes a long way. The plot revolves around a group of space travlers as they take a pitstop of a dino-infested planet. Mixed in the the shot-on-video footage is some great old stop-motion of a 1950's dino-flick. Like I said, this one isn't winning any awards, but it makes for great Bad Movie Night.

Note: If you pick up the the DVD for Full Moon's THE VAULT, you get GALAXY as a special bonus. It's best when watched with the filmmaker's commentary.

Blood Red Planet (2000 Video)

Fell asleep 3 times

[18 February 2002]

Me and a pal have actually spent time discussing which is the worse Polonia Brothers movie, this or BAD MAGIC. For me, this one wins the prize. It's really hard for me to give you a full breakdown as teh movie put me to sleep 3 times and I never once bothers to fully rewind to where I left off. At least the actors and filmmakers never take themselves too seriously, but that begs the question "why put forth the effort".

Radio Free Steve (2000)

Best underground movie of 2000

[18 February 2002]

I saw some really great stuff in 2000, but nothing came close to this one. RADIO FREE STEVE is the ultimate party movie for those that love Geek Cinema. It's an independent film take on early 80's action films and teen romances. Steve is a man who life has turned to garbage. The only shinning hope he has is with Lars Van Beirs, a European flavor-of-the-month director who believes in teh legend of Steve movie, a Road Warrior-like actioner Steve made when he was 17, over 15 years before. RFS is a movie where everything is manipulated by the filmmakers and nothing is at it seems. Some people get the joke, most do not. This is one where you really need to have an audience to fully appreciate it.

Carnage Road (2000 Video)

Max's best movie?

[18 February 2002]

I was sitting with the director and he called this work his best movie. That's a statement I don't actually agree with, HELLINGER is a much better work. This one has much more camp value thanks to the scripting assistance of the Polonia Brothers. Fans of Micro-budger slashers take note, CARNAGE ROAD is one of the better slasher-with-a-gimmick efforts to come along recently.

Audition (1999)

Somber to explosive!

[18 February 2002]

Like THE RING, AUDITION follows a pattern in Japanese Cinema of starting with a slow pace and building to a jack-hammer ending. It's a creepy movie where ALL characters are disturbed. If you would like to be initiate someone to the works of Takashi Miike, this is a good starting point. It's not as in-your-face as some of his other works such as DEAD OR ALIVE or FUDOH.

Kolobos (1999)

Everything good about independent horror.

[18 February 2002]

KOLOBOS is a Thinking Man's horror film. It represents everything good about the independent horror movement. I thought the ending worked surprisingly well. It doesn't do away with everything we've learned, it only reinforces it. Also, not everything we see happens in chronological order, soemthing else reinforced with the ending. I was skeptical at first, but took a chance with a film I've never heard of before. Not for one moment was I displeased.

Zombie Gang Bangers (1997 Video)

Who gave this one a 10?

[18 February 2002]

I'm positive the two people that gave this movie a 10 are the filmmakers. It is handsdown the most vile piece of filth ever put to videotape. Usually, that's something I can say and mean it as a good thing. What you have is 75 minutes of zombies raping poor Stephanie Beaton, who looks about as embarrassed to be part of this movie as I was to watch it. Even for lovers of bad cinema, this one is a rotten egg with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Hellinger (1997 Video)

Not important, but fun

[18 February 2002]

I've already commented on this movie somewhat on the CARNAGE ROAD review. This is by far, Max Cerchi's best movie. It isn't important, not does it contribute to the independent horror movement, but it sure is one imaginative and violent slasher film.

Ice from the Sun (1999)

A visually stunning micro-budget treat

[20 February 2000]

ICE FROM THE SUN, directed by Eric Stanze, is easily the most visually stimulating movie I have seen in some time. It's just amazing to look at. Stanze paints images that are some of the most fulfilling I've seen and they leave you craving more. What's unbelievable is that he accomplished this on the micro-budget level and may have just raised the levels for all of us.

With this expressionistic tale, style and form play more important roles than content and story. Stanze mixes formats, image textures, and sounds to create some of the most effective horror film atmosphere since Sam Raimi with the original EVIL DEAD.

There isn't so much a plot as a premise which allow events to unfold. A figure known as The Presence, who was once a wizard's apprentice, has become an entity so powerful and bloodthristy that both the angels in Heaven and demons in Hell fear him. He reigns in a dimension found within magical ice scraped taken form the face of the Sun.

A young woman, Alison, is resurrected after taking her life in order to assassinate The Presence. She is instructed that while she journeys to confront The Presence, there will be 6 other mortals brought to this realm. Their roles are to die and Alison is ordered to not interfere. After all, everyone has a reason for thier existence.

The stories of The Six make up the bulk of the film. Each character is dealt scenarios that mirror their personalities. A vain woman who uses looks and sex is literally turned into a dog and put out of her misery. Fortunately Stanze sees to it that the rest of the movie isn't so O'Henry-esque and that the scenes are more of a chance to explore human nature.

I do want to pass along a note of warning, this film is graphic. Either extreme gore or abundant nudity populate almost every scene. While none of the images are designed to arouse, they nevertheless leaves the viewer breathless, amazed, and transfixed.