FactoryGirl Reviews

Drive Time Murders (2002 TV Movie)

Missed it by "that" much

[3/10 · 30 June 2008]

Dick and Dorothy were supposed to be a modern day Nick and Nora Charles. The problem with that is the world doesn't need a new Nick and Nora. The old ones are just fine. There was a time when this kind of movie didn't seem so trite.

I only watched this movie because I'm a Cameron Daddo fan. It was very hard for me not to turn the TV off and walk away. The main characters were so sickly sweet that my teeth started to ache. The acting was fine. Too bad they were given such crap to work with.

Audiences today expect more. More plot, more character development, more action, more humor. Less sickly sweetness. Even the title of this movie "Drive Time Murders" makes no sense. There's only one murder. "Drive Time" is 4 to 6 pm (the drive home) and Dick and Dorothy do a breakfast show.

Skip this film and go watch The Thin Man movies.

All the Queen's Men (2001)

First Clue? It has Matt LeBlanc in it!

[1/10 · 27 November 2004]

I can't believe I forced my friend to watch this film with me. I don't intentionally pick crappy movies. It's just that some actors I like are in crappy movies. I bought ATQM because Eddie Izzard is in it and I'm EI mad at the moment. I also bought The Avengers because he's in it but that's another tale of woe....

In ATQM, Eddie plays a drag queen who has to teach a group of men to be women so they can steal an Enigma machine from a German factory where only women work. Eddie is the only one who looks comfortable in a dress. Although I don't think brown is his color. He gets to show off his legs and his German but it's not enough to lift this film off the bottom.

There was one interesting thing, if you're a ST:TNG fan, David Birkin who played both the young Jean-Luc Picard in "Rascals" and Rene Picard in "Family" is in ATLQM as a code breaking, multi-lingual genius.

Aristophanes: The Gods Are Laughing (1995 TV Movie)

What Was the Point?

[2/10 · 27 November 2004]

What do you get when a bunch of 20th Century TV people try to make the life of an ancient playwright hip and sexy? A mess. If the idea was to teach people about the life of this prolific writer, they failed. They've turned him into a Greek Shecky Green. The show opens with Aristophanes on his death bed. He berates his son for not being funny (the son is a serious writer.) We are then transported back in time to follow Aristophanes as he deals with personal tragedy and adds jokes to his plays. It seems he has only one regret. He feels that a play he wrote caused the people to turn on Socrates (his friend) which lead to his trial and suicide. The only bright light in this production is Eddie Izzard's portrayal of a "too cool for school" Socrates. It may not be accurate but it sure is fun to watch.

The Cat's Meow (2001)

Not a Lot of Substance

[4/10 · 27 November 2004]

I'll admit that the only reason I watched this film was because I'm an Eddie Izzard fan. I should have liked this movie more. I've always been fascinated by early Hollywood stories. Unfortunately, this film doesn't get off the ground. It seems to be adrift at sea. Too bad no one who was actually there is still alive. I'd love to hear what they have to say about the way people are portrayed. Was Hearst that pathetic? Was Marion Davies really talented after all? Did Louella Parsons really blackmail her way into a lifetime contract? As I said at the beginning, I only watched this movie to see Eddie's performance as Charlie Chaplin. It was a so-so performance. Izzard's Chaplin wasn't smarmy enough. I heard him professing love but I didn't believe it.

John Doe (2002–2003)

Off to a great start!

[10/10 · 22 September 2002]

This show has a very interesting premise. I guy who doesn't know his own name but does know all sorts of scientific/historical/cultural information. And then there's the really cool brand on his shoulder. Normally, supper heros have one or two strange powers. Doe's knowledge enables him to do everything from drive race cars to fly planes. There is no situation he can get himself into that he can't think his way out of. Maybe.

This show reminded me of the ancient myth of how humans were both male and female but were split into two by an angry god. It has been said that me got "logical knowledge" - science and women got "intuition." . Doe doesn't know anything about himself - he is denied that knowledge. I suspect he's going to have difficulty with personal relationships. He may not be able to learn anything about himself until he finds his other half: The woman who doesn't know who she is but knows what today's lotto numbers will be. She knows what people are feeling at any given time. She knows what will come up on the next spin or the roulette wheel. She knows when people are going to die.

Of course the producers of the show may not take it that way. I'll keep watching just to find out if that's where they're going with the idea or not. I think the show is well worth the time.

Push, Nevada (2002)

Not impressed.

[1/10 · 20 September 2002]

The show wants to be a hybrid of Twin Peaks, X-Files, Murder One and a whole lot of other whodunits. All it ends up being is boring. The dialogue is trite. I can't help seeing Affleck's smirking face. The script just isn't good enough to make me forget the show is produced (and written) by Hollywood's wonder team of Affleck and Damon. I just expected so much more. It was a good idea. It could have been great but it just doesn't cut it. The show was quirky without being quirky enough to hold my interest. This show is no Twin Peaks. I didn't even last out the first two hours of Push, Nevada.

The Immortal (2000–2001)

Only one reason to watch

[1/10 · 20 September 2002]

The only reason to watch this show is to watch Dominic Keating being wickedly evil as the arch-demon Mallos. He's only in 6 of the 22 episodes. This was one of Keating's pre-Enterprise sci-fi gigs (which include Buffy, SU2 and GvsE.) The rest of the series seriously sucks. Lamas is wooden. The character Goodwin is annoying. The character Sara is pathetic. This is another show that COULD have been great. Too bad. Now the pilot (Demons of the Night parts one and two) is out on video. Cashing in on Keating's new found fame no doubt. Well, they might as well make as much money as they can on this turkey. Keating's probably the only one who'll have a career until this is gone and forgotten.

The Sleepy Time Gal (2001)

Sleepy Time Gal Sleep Inducing.

[2/10 · 1 October 2001]

Just saw this film at the Vancouver International Film Festival. I was barely able to stay awake through the long tedious thing.

The shame of it all is that this film could have been great. The plot of a woman wanting to search for the daughter she gave away while the daughter is searching for her could have been very interesting. Instead, this is an "almost but not quite" film.

The acting was good but that's not enough. Some of the audience walked out. Nobody applauded when it was over. I didn't hear anyone talking about the film as they were leaving.

Sad. The Sleepy Time Gal could have been great.

On the Nose (2001)

Robbie Coltrane tries not to lose his head.

[10/10 · 28 September 2001]

I saw the first of two sold out screenings of "On The Nose" at the Vancouver International Film Festival (2001). Before the film began, the director, David Caffery, said a few words about this Irish/Canadian production. He was funny and charming so audience opinion may have been swayed just a little bit. Not that it mattered.

"On The Nose" is an, as the British say, "Brilliant!" film. Coltrane is at his best playing a college porter addicted to gambling who finds a very unique way of picking winning race horses. The film is filled with amusing characters and conflicts. At times the audience laughed so hard I missed lines. I guess I'll just have to see the film again. :-)

If you're a Coltrane fan you shouldn't miss this one. If you're a fan of "little" Irish films this one will please you. If you're a fan of comedy and want to enjoy a good laugh and a cheer, by all means see "On The Nose."