- Director Conway: This is Director Conway speaking. One week ago, actress/model Tracy Lawson disappeared while hiking along the border of North Korea. You may know her as the ten-time Academy Award winning actress. The rest of the world knows her as the daughter of the President of the United States of America. Intel suggests she's being held at the top of the Ryugyong Hotel in North Korea. The President has instituted Operation Ninja Eagle. Russell Kang, your mission is to free-fall down, find the President's daughter, and bring her home to safety.
- [Kang throws an exploding shuriken at a North Korean soldier's eye]
- Kang: You got something in your eye.
- [as Thunder fires lightning bolts across the room, Kang grabs a power cord]
- Kang: I'm stealing your thunder.
- [Kang throws the power cord at the fire sprinkler, splashing water on Thunder until he explodes]
- [Kang sees three NES boxes on the table]
- Kang: Director, are you reading me?
- Director Conway: Loud and clear.
- Kang: I'm seeing a bunch of toaster sized devices. They look like some kind of mad science project.
- Director Conway: Our intel describes something like that. Those are human enhancement devices. The North Koreans use them to give their soldiers special abilities.
- Kang: I see.
- [Kang stares at the center box]
- Director Conway: Do not touch them, Kang. Those are not FDA approved.
- Kang: Yeah, well neither are bullets, and they're always at the top of my grocery list.
- [Kang inserts a cartridge in the center box, which suddenly energizes him]
- [Kang energizes his fist]
- Kang: I'm just busting your chops.
- [Kang decapitates Wind with a power punch]
- [Kang enters the arena and sees his best friend Brunswick emerge from a containment chamber]
- Kang: Brunswick, you're alive!
- [Kang grabs Brunswick before he falls down]
- Kang: What happened to you? It's okay. I'm gonna get you back to Washington.
- Brunswick: Washington?
- Kang: Yeah, Washington. Home.
- Brunswick: Home? This is my home. Washington is a wasteland of puppets.
- Kang: What?
- [Brunswick shoves Kang away]
- Brunswick: This is my home. Alongside Supreme Leader Kim.
- Kang: Snap out of it. Kim's a maniac.
- Brunswick: You fool. He benches 2,000 kilograms! More than you ever could!
- Kang: My God! What have they done to you? You're using the metric system!
- Brunswick: They made me... stronger. The made me... bigger. They made me... better!
- [Kang grabs the Supreme Leader by the neck and lifts him]
- Kang: How's that for a facelift?
- [Kang punches out the Supreme Leader]
- Kang: Ma'am, if I may.
- Tracy Lawson: I've been here for a week! It's about time!
- Kang: Ma'am, time's the only thing I don't kill.