Family Guy (TV Series)

The Griffin Winter Games (2018)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Ryan Lochte

Photos 

Quotes 

• Meg Griffin : I'm a bi...

  Stewie Griffin : Knew it.

  Meg Griffin : ...athlete.

  Stewie Griffin : Didn't know it.

• Lois Griffin : I have to say, I'm very proud of Meg.

  Peter Griffin : Who knew she was good at something? Yeah, does anybody else in the family have any secret talents we don't know about?

  Chris Griffin : I'm the Quahog edging champion.

  Peter Griffin : That's great, Chris. Now what's that?

  Chris Griffin : It's the practice of erotic sexual denial.

  Peter Griffin : [disapprovingly]  Go wait in the car. And no edging!

  Ron Howard : But he did continue edging. Bringing himself to the verge of sexual pleasure, only to stop at the last moment. I'm Ron Howard, and I do voice-overs for this show now too.

  Kristen Bell : But that was the only voice-over Ron Howard did for the show. He asked for too much money. I'm Kristen Bell, and I do reasonably-priced voice-overs.

  Josh Robert Thompson : But her voice-overs were not reasonably priced, so they turned to me. A guy who sounds like Morgan Freeman, but is not, in fact, Morgan Freeman. My name is Josh Robert Thompson, and I perform for scale.

• Stewie Griffin : Well, I have to say, you two are the best thing to happen to sports since the New York Knicks finally changed their name.

  Basketball stadium announcer : Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your 2018 New York Pieces-Of-Dog-Shit!

  [everyone boos] 

• Peter Griffin : That's it. Like your missiles, I'm about to go ballistic.

  [bird flies across screen and crashes in between his legs] 

  Peter Griffin : Oww! A northern bird flew into my nuts! Ahh, go to commercial!