- Alaric Saltzman: Okay, let's talk. Who are you? What do you want?
- Jo Laughlin: I'm Josette Laughlin, almost Saltzman.
- Alaric Saltzman: No, Jo Laughlin is dead.
- Josie Saltzman: I'm well aware. It's not everyday you get murdered at your shotgun wedding.
- Alaric Saltzman: Okay, what's the last thing you remember?
- Jo Laughlin: Morning sickness. My dress. Our vows. My psychopath twin brother with a very large knife. And then...
- [shakes her head]
- Jo Laughlin: nothing. How long ago was that? You look a little... seasoned.
- Alaric Saltzman: About sixteen years ago.
- Jo Laughlin: [shocked] Sixteen years.
- [exhales]
- Jo Laughlin: I don't know what to say. How are you? How are you d...?
- Alaric Saltzman: Oh, just cut the... Just drop the act, okay?
- Jo Laughlin: It's not an act, Ric. This is Mystic Falls. I'm not exactly the first person to be brought back from the dead.
- Alaric Saltzman: Yeah, well, things have gotten a little complicated around here lately.
- [there's a knock on the door]
- Lizzie Saltzman: Uh, Dad? Why is your door locked?
- Jo Laughlin: "Dad"?
- Josie Saltzman: And when were you gonna tell us that Mom wasn't coming back?
- Alaric Saltzman: I was about to.
- [has his hand over Jo's mouth]
- Alaric Saltzman: There - There's a strike at the airport in Mozambique.
- Lizzie Saltzman: She couldn't compel a pilot and hop on a private jet?
- Alaric Saltzman: She'll explain everything later, okay? But right now I need you to go, because I am wrapping your presents!
- Josie Saltzman: No, you're not. You're lying through your teeth!
- Alaric Saltzman: [Lizzie and Josie place their palms against the door to siphon magic, they chant, and as the door flies open:] Oh...
- Lizzie Saltzman: Who's this trollop?
- Jo Laughlin: [whispers softly] Oh, my God...
- Alaric Saltzman: I need you to leave right now.
- Jo Laughlin: I'm sorry.
- [looks at them:]
- Jo Laughlin: How old are you?
- Josie Saltzman, Lizzie Saltzman: Sixteen.
- Josie Saltzman: Today.
- Lizzie Saltzman: It's our birthday.
- Rafael Waithe: [to Hope, as they're trapped:] So, you can slay a dragon, but you can't get us out of here?