- Norman: Wait till you're my age. Every time I sneeze, I hear rattling around in my hips. It feels like a foreign object broken loose.
- Sandy Kominsky: Yeah, we are passengers on boats slowly sinking.
- Norman: Your boat is slow? I'm like when the Titanic was pointing up.
- Lisa: Did you just say nice things because you kissed me and then peed in my hedge?
- Sandy Kominsky: Oh, God, did you see that?
- Lisa: No, my son did. Your stock actually went up with him.