Bill Richmond: Ghost of YouTube Present

Quotes 

• Ebenezer YouTube : I must say I've never met anyone quite like you, Spirit.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Really? Eighteen hundred of my brothers have come before me.

  Ebenezer YouTube : Eighteen hundred? My, what a precedent.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Precedence.

  Ebenezer YouTube : I, I don't...

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Precedent is a legal opinion upon which other legal opinions are based; precedence is about priority and order.

• Ghost of YouTube Present : Touch my robe.

  Ebenezer YouTube : I'm not really entirely comfortable...

  Ghost of YouTube Present : It's not like that. Don't be a dick. You gotta touch my robe in order to get this transfer thing... Look. Just... Come on. Right now.

  [Ebenezer touches the Ghost who arches back pleasurably] 

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Ahhh. I'm just kidding. Let's go.

• Ebenezer YouTube : O, Spirit, I never meant to hurt my nephew. You must understand that BuzzFeed women painting in period blood had to take precedent.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Precedence!

• Tiny Not Gay Jared : Father! Father! Come and see! My latest video has 200,000 plays in just three hours.

  Ebenezer YouTube : Such a meager feast.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : But very appreciated.

  [Jared coughs and looks distressed] 

  Sound Guy Cratchit : What is it?

  Tiny Not Gay Jared : It's already been demonetized.

  Sound Guy Cratchit : Already?

  Tiny Not Gay Jared : They seem to be getting demonetized faster this time of year.

  [coughs] 

  Sound Guy Cratchit : Oh, don't worry about it right now. Come on. You need some rest. Come on.

  Ebenezer YouTube : Such a remarkable child.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Indeed.

  Ebenezer YouTube : Tell me spirit what does he have?

  Ghost of YouTube Present : AIDS.

  Ebenezer YouTube : Indeed.

  Sound Guy Cratchit : Oh, don't worry. I'll find another way to pay for your antiretroviral treatment.

• Ebenezer YouTube : O tell me, Spirit, does Tiny Not Gay Jared have to die?

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Well, if he'd rather die, then he'd better do it and decrease the surplus population.

  [pause] 

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Do you remember? You remember you said that?

  Ebenezer YouTube : I remember.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : It was a call back to the thing you said...

  Ebenezer YouTube : I remember.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Are you sure you remember?

  Ebenezer YouTube : OK, OK.

  Ghost of YouTube Present : Do you want to see under my robe?