- John Oliver: The naughtiest thing you've ever done is run through a wheatfield? I cannot imagine a scenario where that is ever naughty, unless you're doing it while high on PCP and fucking a canteloupe.
- John Oliver: He's right. They even have to work out the issue of pet passports. And while they are a genuine, logistical concern, pet passports do also sound like they belong to real asshole cats and dogs. "I mean, technically I'm a Persian, but I consider myself more a citizen of the world." Fuck you, Muffin! You still use your mouth to clean your butt. You're not better than me. You're not better than me!
- John Oliver: And for the record, Lord Buckethead is this guy. An intergalactic space lord who ran on a platform of, among other things, "The abolition of the Lords" -in brackets- "except me", and "Stop selling arms to Saudi Arabia. Start buying lasers from Lord Buckethead". And he did this all while looking like Darth Vader fucked an Amazon Echo.