The Good Place (TV Series)

The Trolley Problem (2017)

Manny Jacinto: Jason Mendoza

Photos 

Quotes 

• Janet : [posing as therapist]  Tahani, what do you value about Jason?

  Tahani Al-Jamil : Well, he's thoughtful. Picks flowers and brings them to me. Often they're ones I've just planted, but... .

  Jason Mendoza : That's how I know they fresh.

  Tahani Al-Jamil : He's the least self-aware person I've ever met. He has massive amounts of unearned confidence, and is utterly unaware of his own absurdity. Therefore, quite good at sex.

• Jason Mendoza : Here's the thing. I'm nice to you and you're mean to me. There's something wrong about that, but I can't put my finger on what it is.

  Tahani Al-Jamil : Jason, I genuinely like you, but it's hard to change all at once. Can you give me a little more time?

  Jason Mendoza : Okay. I agree to keep this on the DL for now if you agree to grab my butt in public once a week. You can say I sat in gum and that you're trying to scrape it off.

  Tahani Al-Jamil : [affectionately]  You do sit in a lot of gum.

• Tahani Al-Jamil : Eleanor seemed a little suspicious earlier, snooping around. You didn't tell her about us, did you?

  Jason Mendoza : No. Why are you so scared someone will know we're pounding it out?

  Tahani Al-Jamil : Precisely because you refer to lovemaking as "pounding it out".

• Chidi Anagonye : We are going to tackle the trolley problem.

  Jason Mendoza : Is this a game? I go first. I call blue.

  Chidi Anagonye : There's no... no, this is... no. This is a thought experiment first introduced by British philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967. You are driving a trolley when the brakes fail. And on the track ahead of you are five workmen that you will run over. Now, you can steer to another track, but on that track is one person you would kill instead of the five. What do you do?

  Eleanor Shellstrop : Do we know anything about the people? Like, is one of them an ex-boyfriend or that snooty girl from Rite Aid who was always silently judging my purchases? It's like, "Yeah, chicky! A Baby Ruth and birth control, I see the irony. Keep a-swiping!"

  Chidi Anagonye : You don't know any of the workers.

  Eleanor Shellstrop : Okay, well, then that's easy. I switch tracks. Kill one person instead of five.

  Tahani Al-Jamil : But this is hard, 'cause the only trolley I've ever been on is James Franco's ironic trolley. It travels backwards from his penguin grotto to his garage of adult tricycles.

  [seeing the others' looks] 

  Tahani Al-Jamil : Um... kill one and save five.