A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV Series)

The Austere Academy: Part 2 (2018)

Roger Bart: Vice Principal Nero

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vice-Principal Nero : I need a few minutes to rosin my bow.

  Count Olaf : Don't say that in front of the children.

• Vice-Principal Nero : O.K., everyone, settle down.

  Count Olaf : Settle down? Do you hear what Vice Principal Shapiro just said?

  Vice-Principal Nero : Nero.

  Count Olaf : How often I hear those words come out of people's ears and into my mouth. "Settle," a word which here means, "Settling for less" and, "Down." My personal least favorite direction. Let me tell you a story. Some years ago, a woman came to me. She needed my help. "Coach Genghis," she said to me, "I'm a failure. I have no job. My love life is in the pits. I can't seem to lose these last 20 lbs." I bet that describes just about each and every one of you. Am I right?

  Vice-Principal Nero : They're schoolchildren.

  Count Olaf : Exactly. And what did I say to her? Do you think I told her to settle down?... I told her to stand up. I told her to actualize and incentivize. I told her to keep her eyes in the clouds and her feet on the stars. Do you know what happened? She died in a mysterious fire.

  Vice-Principal Nero : Wait, what?

  Count Olaf : Settling down is what losers do.

• Count Olaf : I feel it. Can you feel it, Caligula?

  Vice-Principal Nero : Nero.