75th Golden Globe Awards (2018 TV Special)

Jessica Chastain: Self - Nominee & Presenter

Quotes 

• Himself - Host : On my show, we do a segment called "Jokes Seth Can't Tell" with two of my writers, Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel, where they tell punchlines that would be more fun coming from them instead of me, a straight white male. Tonight, that's more true than ever, so we thought we could enlist some of the brilliant people in this room, so let's start. Where's Jessica Chastain? Jessica Chastain?

  [Jessica waves from her seat] 

  Himself - Host : There she is. Give it up for Jessica.

  [applause] 

  Himself - Host : So I'm gonna say the set-up, and Jessica's gonna say the punchline. Okay, here we go. The Golden Globes turns 75 this year...

  Herself - Nominee & Presenter : But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.

  [laughter] 

  Himself - Host : There you go! So much more fun. Where's Billy Eichner?

  Billy Eichner : [waving from his seat]  I'm here! I'm right over here.

  Himself - Host : Okay, great. Here you go. Here's your set-up, Billy. "Call Me By Your Name" is nominated for best motion picture.

  Billy Eichner : Said...

  Himself - Host : It is a gay coming-of-age film.

  Billy Eichner : Said Kevin Spacey, "You lost me at 'of age'."

  [laughter and groans] 

  Himself - Host : And you thought it was mean when I said he didn't have a Southern accent. Issa Rae is nominated for her HBO show "Insecure".

  [applause, as she waves from her seat] 

  Himself - Host : There's Issa.

  Herself - Nominee : Hey.

  Himself - Host : All right, here's your set-up. "Insecure" creator Issa Rae currently has three projects in development with HBO.

  Herself - Nominee : Yeah, that's right, and, um, Three Projects is also where they think I'm from.

  Himself - Host : [laughter]  Next up, Hong Chau, so brilliant in the film "Downsizing". Let's see Hong.

  [applause] 

  Himself - Host : Here's the set-up: according to a recent article, only 5% of speaking roles in Hollywood are played by Asian actors.

  Herself - Nominee : But those numbers might be off, since a white person did the math.