- Todd Johnson: I needed the cash.
- Doug D'Mello: For what?
- Todd Johnson: For an operation.
- Doug D'Mello: What kind of operation?
- Todd Johnson: To make myself taller.
- Doug D'Mello: That's the stupidest operation I've ever heard in my life.
- Todd Johnson: You try being this height.
- Doug D'Mello: I did, when I was three.
- [first lines]
- Doug D'Mello: You don't believe me, do you? You don't believe one word I've said. But you believed the part where everyone laughed at me and thought I was a loser, right? Losers deserve a chance to prove they're not losers. I may be Constable fourth class in Canada, but in India I'm a detective first class!
- Rocco Farinelli: Gotta admit, you had me fooled.
- Doug D'Mello: I had you fooled?
- Rocco Farinelli: Yeah, the bike bust thing, you act the douchebag part pretty well.
- Doug D'Mello: I wasn't acting!