My First Porno
- Video
- 2004
- 3h
YOUR RATING
Storyline
Featured review
Hopefully his last
It's difficult to know what exactly to make of this XXX filler video, presented by Johnny Rebel/John Mason, surely near or at the bottom of Brit Porn purveyors. It has the possessive of "George Kingsbury's" in its longer title, but what he has accomplished with Johnny's assistance is nil.
Running a mind-numbing full 3 hours, I counted 15 (or so, I lost count) scenes of a handful of actors posing for stills or humping each other with complete disinterest. I mean disinterest on the part of the performers -my lack of interest is a given.
The studs are the same overworked talent in nearly every early Brit Porn video: Tony James/Uttley and Pascal White. The three actresses include the talented Janca, none of whose talent is shown here. One girl Emma is a newcomer imported from Belfast, to which hopefully she ran back as fast as her skinny legs would carry her after completing this desultory assignment.
It's hard to imagine a video as threadbare or repetitious as this one; if SNL were out to parody it, perhaps with Aykroyd back in harness in his E. Buzz Miller persona, the show would be hard-pressed to come up with crummier sets than the two unfurnished bedrooms plus a separate couch used for humping. Rebel/Mason insists on joining the cast on camera from time to time, in order to make inane statements and to cop a feel from the femmes. Where moneybags George Kingsbury fits into this equation is one of those cosmic questions a physicist will tell you not to ask.
Running a mind-numbing full 3 hours, I counted 15 (or so, I lost count) scenes of a handful of actors posing for stills or humping each other with complete disinterest. I mean disinterest on the part of the performers -my lack of interest is a given.
The studs are the same overworked talent in nearly every early Brit Porn video: Tony James/Uttley and Pascal White. The three actresses include the talented Janca, none of whose talent is shown here. One girl Emma is a newcomer imported from Belfast, to which hopefully she ran back as fast as her skinny legs would carry her after completing this desultory assignment.
It's hard to imagine a video as threadbare or repetitious as this one; if SNL were out to parody it, perhaps with Aykroyd back in harness in his E. Buzz Miller persona, the show would be hard-pressed to come up with crummier sets than the two unfurnished bedrooms plus a separate couch used for humping. Rebel/Mason insists on joining the cast on camera from time to time, in order to make inane statements and to cop a feel from the femmes. Where moneybags George Kingsbury fits into this equation is one of those cosmic questions a physicist will tell you not to ask.
Details
- Runtime3 hours
- Color
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