The Magicians (TV Series)

Ramifications (2017)

Trevor Einhorn: Josh Hoberman

Quotes 

• Margo Hanson : Listen, dipshit, you have to find Rafe, the squirrely little prick who works for the sloth. He got me here. He can get me back.

  Josh Hoberman : You could say "please".

  Margo Hanson : No, I literally could not. I'm going to go find Fen. You find a goddamn way to get me back.

• Tick Pickwick : Both the high king and queen have vanished leaving you the only Child of Earth in Fillory.

  Josh Hoberman : Oh, my God. They were my ride home!

• Tick Pickwick : On to business, then. Half the court are still rats. The talking beavers are in revolt. They're demanding dental coverage.

  Benedict Pickwick : And the Measly Mountains, they've disappeared. Completely just - -

  [Josh moves to sit in the throne] 

  Rafe : Stop! The thrones are cursed.

  Josh Hoberman : Okay, is anything not fucked?

  Tick Pickwick : Your High Kingliness, perhaps this is all too much for you.

  Josh Hoberman : There was a great king on Earth who had a philosophy: "Hakuna matata". Roughly translated, it means, "no worries". That's my philosophy too. Who gives a shit about a few Measly Mountains?

  Benedict Pickwick : But-...

  Josh Hoberman : Erase them. Bring in the talking rats to translate for the rat people, and we are giving all those beavers braces because they deserve it. Say it, Tick.

  Tick Pickwick : Hakuna matata.

• Margo Hanson : Why the fuck are you taking a nap instead of looking for me?

  Josh Hoberman : Margo? I thought you were banished.

  Margo Hanson : No, dumbass, I'm stuck in the Fairy Realm. How can I see you?

  Josh Hoberman : [Looks at his bong]  Oh, shit, she must've mixed in the wrong strain. We wanted "bang like happy pandas", not "see other worlds". Never let an amateur pack your bong.

• Josh Hoberman : [after Ess attacks the castle]  Hakuna Matata has failed me.