The Magicians (TV Series)

Divine Elimination (2017)

Hale Appleman: Eliot Waugh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eliot Waugh : Jesus. Alice has gone full Harry Potter part seven/eight over there.

  Margo Hanson : God, I hope we're winning.

• Eliot Waugh : The spell that won World War II is called the Rhinemann Ultra? Sounds like a not-so-great beer.

  Quentin Coldwater : Fine, it's a beer, but it's a beer that we can use to kill The Beast.

  Eliot Waugh : Meanwhile, Penny comes back with cool circa-1985 wrist chains.

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : Yeah, super cool how they keep me from killing myself.

  Eliot Waugh : And then Dean Fogg gives you all matching tramp stamps?

  Alice Quinn : I thought tramp stamps were supposed to be on our lower back?

  Eliot Waugh : God, I feel like I missed out on some crazy party you'll be talking about for the rest of your lives.

• Eliot Waugh : Don't think I don't see how this works. You disappear. You come back. Matching tattoos, and now you're three against one. I know exactly what you're planning.

  Margo Hanson : El...

  [Moves toward him] 

  Eliot Waugh : Don't touch me.

  Margo Hanson : Sweetie? You kind of sound insane.

  Eliot Waugh : Do I? Because I promise you I will not go down easily.

  [Dramatically] 

  Eliot Waugh : Oo-surpers.

  [Turns to leave, turns back] 

  Eliot Waugh : Usurpers. Whichever way you're supposed to pronounce it.

• Alice Quinn : It's time. Don't know how long I'll have to cast the Rhinemann. Ugh. Eliot's right. It's a stupid name.

  Eliot Waugh : And I wish I had a beer.

• William 'Penny' Adiyodi : Wait, is this really the most important thing we could be doing right now? I mean, The Beast is still out there waiting for us.

  Eliot Waugh : The Beast can wait for five minutes. You are all Kings and Queens of Fillory. Well, almost all of you.

• Margo Hanson : If those horses get us there before The Beast, I'll gladly fuck them both.

  Eliot Waugh : Hey. Shh. Careful. Volume. I think those are talking horses.

  Margo Hanson : [Looks at them]  Offer stands.

• Margo Hanson : Guess we're gonna die.

  Eliot Waugh : To our pretty corpses.

• Eliot Waugh : Benedict, right? I need your help. What do you do here again?

  Benedict Pickwick : Royal mapmaker, sire. Is your problem cartographical in nature?

  Eliot Waugh : Not really. What I need, Benedict, is a dagger. A stiletto, really. Something I can sneak up and stab someone with. But regal.

  Benedict Pickwick : I make maps, Your Majesty.

  Eliot Waugh : Well, surely, someone has snuck into your office and dramatically stabbed a knife into a map to make a point, no?

• William 'Penny' Adiyodi : Bad news you're cursed. Good news I think there's a way out.

  Eliot Waugh : Does it involve your beheading? 'Cause that's the ending I'm voting for right now.

  Margo Hanson : I second that. My ass still hurts.

• Eliot Waugh : Use a first year spell to stop the Beast? That sounds like suicide.

  Margo Hanson : Which I've already tried today, and, no thank you.