- Roscoe: Grandma said never be a snitch.
- Bonnie Plunkett: I said never be a snitch UNLESS the D.A. offers you immunity!
- Baxter: Every day I go to work and pretend that I like selling slightly used cars. Then I go back to my 'tastefully decorated' home and pretend to like barbecuing fish. And if that wasn't bad enough, I have to pretend to like listening to Adele during sex. I cannot do those things without weed! Don't take this away from me, it's the only thing that's real in my life!
- Christy Plunkett: [furious] Other than the love of your son?
- Baxter: [whining] Yes of course that's magical!
- Bonnie Plunkett: [after a video call with Violet] What do you think?
- Christy Plunkett: Every-word-a-lie.
- Bonnie Plunkett: French chef?
- Christy Plunkett: Jogging?
- Bonnie Plunkett: So what do you think she's really up to?
- Christy Plunkett: I have no idea, but she didn't ask for money, so I couldn't be prouder.
- Bonnie Plunkett: I smoked my first joint when I was 14, but I'd already done acid and mushrooms for a couple years, so you know, weed, whoop-de-doo.