- Hooten: [In the catacombs] Is this it?
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: That a sarcophagus. We're looking for an ebony chest.
- Hooten: All I see are skulls and bones. And more skulls, and more bones. It's like a serial killer's apartment.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Two minutes, and already, I wanna punch you in the face.
- Hooten: This is what I hoped for. We can pick up exactly where we left off.
- Hooten: [about his vespa] Won her in a game of Scopa off a bridesmaid. Call her Audrey.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: It's an example of everyday sexism to name vehicles after women.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: So, you know a nun!
- Hooten: I know a lot of nuns.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: And how do you know this nun?
- Hooten: "Nun" of your business.
- Hooten: General Stilicho had the Sibylline book in 405 AD. He must have given it to the Church; why?
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Christians believed the Sibylline book prophesied the arrival of Christ. It would have been a very useful tool in the process of conversion.
- Hooten: So why doesn't the Sibylline book have pride of place?
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Because once people are converted there's only one book the Church wants people reading.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Francesco tore out the stamped page in protest at its censorship. Then somebody called Simoni hid the rest of it.
- Hooten: I don't suppose it says where?
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: I don't completely understand, it says Francesco goes to the convent, to your convent, and then Simoni stays in Rome. He writes to Francesco. He says; "It is hidden, Father. The key is in my book".
- Hooten: Thanks, Simoni, big help.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Well, what he actually writes is; "Meo libro picto", then essentially writes "lol".
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: You can't go stabbing at Michelangelo ceiling, that is a crime against culture!
- Hooten: Why, you take out your scalpel all the time and pick things up.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: A scalpel is a precision instrument, that is a dirty great knife.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: I think I should take the book. It'll be safe and it'll help build relations between the Museum and the Vatican.
- Hooten: I've made the call. I'm giving it to the guy.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: The "guy?" A priceless relic, and you're gonna give it to a "guy?"
- Hooten: He's not just a guy, he's a friend of my nun. That's what she wants, it's what's gonna happen.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: I bet it's the Mob.
- Hooten: You're in Italy and you hear the word "friend" and you assume it's the Mob? That's racist.
- Tramacca: My brother was killed 8 years ago, and they blamed me! I am a king, in my world, Alex. I am an emperor. Yes, I want the money but, I also want guidance. I want to know if there's a way back to my family.
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: Hold the book. Hold that question in your mind. And allow yourself to find the truth within its pages.
- [He opens a page, she reads]
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: "You are worn out dead. Your tomb is ill-starred. It holds no pride, or honour. Your throne is lost".
- [Shuts the book]
- Lady Alex Spencer-Parker: That could mean anything.