- Sunil Odhav: Ah, look. If it isn't the ingenue beset by tragedy.
- Rebecca Bunch: Oh, and if it isn't the plotting understudy, just waiting in the wings with a bag of marbles.
- Rebecca Bunch: Paula said you wanted to see me.
- Nathaniel Plimpton: I wanted to SEE you? No, I wanted you to come into work. So I could tell you, "You need to come into work."
- Heather Davis: Your dad didn't RSVP to your wedding?
- Rebecca Bunch: Oh no, of course not. No, he never shows up for anything. I only invited him to feel bad about myself.
- Rebecca Bunch: What are you doing here?
- Valencia Perez: Oh, I make my own candles so rooms smell like me, even when I'm not in them. It's basically the only reason I teach yoga anymore, so I get to use my candles.
- Paula Proctor: Why do you have to cleanse? I mean, what'd you do, gain like half a pound?
- Nathaniel Plimpton: No - stop looking at my wrists! I just don't feel normal when I'm packing some extra ounces.
- Nathaniel Plimpton: I don't believe in sick. If it's not cancer, you come to work. In fact, most cancers are a half day.
- Nathaniel Plimpton: Come on people, we need to tighten this ship! If my father was to walk in this second, he would put everyone over his knee and not do anything - to scare you!