- Miranda Sings: You people are monsters! All of you! I've been reading your comments, and you all say MEAN, HORRIBLE THINGS! Look at this! "You have lipstick on your teech" I would never put lipstick there! It could get infected!
- Miranda Sings: Oh, you know what, actually, I have an announcement before we get started! I just wanna say, please... don't be intimidated by me. I can tell by the looks on your faces that you're all freaking out, like: "Oh my gosh, this girl is so much prettier and so much more talented than all of us, what are we gonna do?" Just being honest... this is going to really help your careers, okay? Maybe I could rub off on you a little bit. Not like physically rub on you, 'cause that'd be weird. I'm a good girl. He's watching, so... anyways, all right! Let's get started, shall we? Let's do this!
- Bethany: Okay, Emily. Tell me honestly, what do you think? Is this a show-stopper?
- Emily: Yes.
- Bethany: Oh my gosh! I'm so glad. Because I'm going to wear it tonight, for Singles Night.
- Emily: Don't do that.
- Bethany: Why? What's wrong with it?
- Emily: It's just a little too revealing.
- Bethany: But it's a turtleneck, and...
- Emily: No I just mean it reveals a little too much about your home life.
- Bethany: Hi Keith. Laugh, act surprised. Oh, a little bit about me? I was married once, but I consider myself pure because I never had the glory moment... but I'm open to it, Keith, if you - if you wanted to do that. But if not, that's okay too...
- Emily: Nope, nope, nope. Mom, you cannot say that.
- Bethany: Um, okay, what about this? Um... Keith, does your family have a history of... genetic diseases?
- Emily: No. You can't say that either.
- Bethany: Well, okay, all right, um... Hey Keith, how do you feel about roller coasters?
- Emily: Okay, let me see these cards. Mom, you can't say any of these!
- April: Look, Miranda, you need to leave!
- Miranda Sings: What are you doing! Get your stinking hands off of me!
- April: Just... get out of here! You're ruining the whole night for everyone!
- Miranda Sings: ME? Look who's talking, Miss Chesticle-Crack-out-for-everyone-to-see! It's disgusting. I'm embarassed for you.