The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)
Patrick Duffy/Red Buttons/Ann Reinking/William F. Buckley (1980)
Johnny Carson: Self - Host
Quotes
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Johnny Carson : [reading from the Ayatollah Khomeini's writings] "A husband must have - *must* have - sexual relations with his wife at least once in every four months."... I'm about due... A little - a little humor there, which I'm sure will be punished later.
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Johnny Carson : [reading the "further advice" of Ayatollah Khomeini] Never eat the meat of a four-legged beast that has appeared in a porno movie.
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Johnny Carson : [reading the "further advice" of Ayatollah Khomeini] A paper boy who misses the porch is accursed. Let him be buried up to his neck in Sunday supplements.
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Johnny Carson : One nice thing about having boys is that when they get married, you don't have to pay for the funeral.
Patrick Duffy : No... The funeral?
Johnny Carson : The marriage! Marriage!... That is going to be punishable also.
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Johnny Carson : Your role in Dallas - I'll bet you - you would like one of the meaner parts. You're - you're - you're pretty nice in that, compared to the rest of the cast.
Patrick Duffy : Yeah.
Johnny Carson : You got drunkenness and, uh, more carryin' on in that family...
Patrick Duffy : Right. I'm sort of the bionic Boy Scout.
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William F. Buckley : Whatever you say about the United States, we are still making some kind of an effort to keep a few people free. You'd last ten seconds in the Soviet society - and, uh, it makes a difference to...
Johnny Carson : With the communists.
William F. Buckley : It makes a difference to, uh, a lot of us that you have lasted fifteen years.