Plot

Kitten calls her son Beau when her GILF bordello is robbed by a grotesque burlesque gang. A full- throttle, rock n rollin' feast of camp destruction and dangerous dance numbers ensues.

Sir Beauregard (Chris Asimos) and his pugilistic Sidekick Reginald Lampoon III head to dullsville to article a wave of homophobic assaults on their fellow gays. They quickly sort out the miscreants and decide to take their "tasty" leader Squirt (Ollie bell) with them in order to show him the error of his ways. On a visit to Beauregard's Mama (Kitten Natividad as Kitten) at her GILF bordello they discover that her loot acquired from a series of wealthy lovers and husbands has been stolen by the nefarious Chompers a perverse burlesque gang, led by the giantess Wanda (Aimee Nichols) and aided by Kitten's most prolific whore Billy Jean (Justine Jones). Bill Jean was the possessor of the mystical Golden cock a Talisman that brings 'good luck to the F*ck' and without which Kitten's business soon goes downhill. Destitute she enlists Beau and Lump's help. Meanwhile Squirt's dad the tyrannical and homophobic Chief of Police and his evil techno save sidekick HindlIck take up their trail and head off in pursuit. Beau seeks out an old lover Salome a lethal Persian princess cross dresser in a run down lunch bar run by McBastard. Salome quickly takes him and his unsavory gang apart and they head off to the Bangalore nitespot the last known home to the Golden Cock in search of clues. Several passionate scenes ensue amongst most of the cast. Beau and gang enter the Bangalore only to be dragged before the Indian Crime lord Sheer Khan, who realizing they are after the same thing -revenge on the Chompers and retrieval of the Golden Cock, tells them The Chompers will be heading to their desert hideout in Freaky Town and sends them on their way with his most trusted assassin Hijra (King Khan) the original owner of the GC. Meanwhile Squirt has escaped into the swamp, where after being bitten by a cocksquito he hallucinates a forest of penises and falls prey to his own pent up desires. Beau rescues him and they form a reluctant friendship. Next stop the desolate Blue Mumu Tiki bar where Nancy (Brooke Sykes) and Anna Margarita (Robert 'El Vez' Lopez) attempt to assassinate them with the aid of the 'Tiki Deathtrap 2000' and some very caustic cocktails. Wanda had paid the Elvis gang with Kitten's lost jewelry to make sure they foiled any pursuit. Salome though wary of the Elvis gang and mature of several marital arts mangoes to overcome them and the jewelry s recovered by Lump who decides to hang out for a while to sample the delights of the King. On a quick wee stop Salome is kidnapped by a Pterodactyl hang glider and Beau and Squirt leave Hijra who decides to pursue the Chompers by himself. After an exhilarating cross desert chase the lads arrive at the hollow mountain home of the cult of Shemali who are convinced Salome is their goddess reincarnate. Beau and Squirt are captured and bound they are dragged before her but she is in an orgasmic fever and distracted by the many tasty cultists who worship her with their tongues. Hijra meanwhile has caught up with the Chompers and sneaks up on them only to be taken down by a devilish Carnival maze of traps and finally brained with his own Golden Cock by Wanda. Meanwhile prompted by a ghostly Kitten Beau and Squirt takeoff in a hang glider on their way t Freaky town. The chief an Hindlick have by now captured Lump and take possession of the jewels before Handpick uses his computer game torture tom torment him, but is thwarted when Lump spits out his own finger into his eye killing him with his own techno torture device. The chief meanwhile has gone off to rescue his "scumbag son". Arriving in Freaky town during a massive party to celebrate Wanda's new queen ship the lads are again captured by the chompers but thanks to Beau's magnificent and prehensile penis gain the upper hand. When Squirt accidentally swallows the Golden Cock the battle turns in their favor s Salome Lump and an army of cultists launch an assault of Freaky Town. WilWand meet her match will kitten ever get her jewels back Will Beau and Squirt fall in love? Find out in 'Fags in the fast lane'!