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Featured review
No secret, this video stinks
I've never accused the prolific web team of Bree Mills and Stills by Alan of overachieving, but they almost had the germ of an idea with this project. But as with dozens of other recent lesbian and massage videos drawn from their internet output, it's a stinker.
It consists of five short story porn vignettes, with the title one spread over two episodes. Gimmick is that actresses Adriana Chechik and Jade Nile, though significantly different heights, have a striking facial resemblance, exploited here with hair styling and makeup to match.
Chechik is taken by her unsympathetic dad to live in Dana DeArmond's boarding house, a pretty dumb move considering Dana's legendary kinky reputation, much beloved by her porn fans but not conducive to a young girl's upbringing. She is taken under the wing of prior girl already there Jade Nile, and Dana immediately starts role-playing, thinking of them as her "twin daughters."
In the 2 segments, the "sisters" hump in bed and then Dana joins them for a family threesome. It's all fake incest several times removed, but the point of this and so many other similar exercises is to pretend that the incest is real. As movies are pretend in the first place I fail to understand the apparent appeal of all this ersatz stuff, but the public and a current generation of pornographers have made it all the rage.
Like Brad Dourif and Crispin Glover in mainstream cinema, Dana has become typecast as a kook, but she puts it across earnestly and convincingly, so much so that like those two once-promising actors one comes to believe she really is loony. It's the Sean Young syndrome, which sadly killed Sean's promising career.
The other 3 segments are fairly tiresome and lack the panache of doing repeated double takes at how similar the physiognomy of Adriana and Jade is. A big deal is made of anal sex (lesbian style) in Kewpie doll beauty Samantha Rone getting serviced by older and bustier Holly Heart, but like the team's various Carter Cruise vehicles, this is pretty lame. The big breasts come out to play in "Nurse Mom" in which Jelena Jensen is rather prematurely advanced to MILF (and old age) as Alex Chance's mom, and when they aren't boring us with a mutual admiration society for each other's racks, they hump with customary aplomb. For the record, Jelena is 8 years older than Alex.
The great man himself (or so I deduced) "Stills by Alan" seems to be taking a shot at acting, playing Kendra Lust's husband in a farcical skit titled "Almost Caught". Had this been an above-ground (not porn) project, the perpetrators would be embarrassed, but with an anything goes attitude we have Lust and step-daughter Ariana Marie having sex right in front of the daddy, using such corny ploys as Marie scurrying under the table to service her mom. This is not incest baiting but rather an insult to a long tradition of broad comedy that goes back centuries and is put back decades by Alan's poor direction. Yes, he (as daddy) never catches on to what is going on right in front of him. The audience is assumed to have devolved into sheer idiocy, compared to say the heights of intelligence we displayed back in the heyday of that TV great "Hee Haw".
It consists of five short story porn vignettes, with the title one spread over two episodes. Gimmick is that actresses Adriana Chechik and Jade Nile, though significantly different heights, have a striking facial resemblance, exploited here with hair styling and makeup to match.
Chechik is taken by her unsympathetic dad to live in Dana DeArmond's boarding house, a pretty dumb move considering Dana's legendary kinky reputation, much beloved by her porn fans but not conducive to a young girl's upbringing. She is taken under the wing of prior girl already there Jade Nile, and Dana immediately starts role-playing, thinking of them as her "twin daughters."
In the 2 segments, the "sisters" hump in bed and then Dana joins them for a family threesome. It's all fake incest several times removed, but the point of this and so many other similar exercises is to pretend that the incest is real. As movies are pretend in the first place I fail to understand the apparent appeal of all this ersatz stuff, but the public and a current generation of pornographers have made it all the rage.
Like Brad Dourif and Crispin Glover in mainstream cinema, Dana has become typecast as a kook, but she puts it across earnestly and convincingly, so much so that like those two once-promising actors one comes to believe she really is loony. It's the Sean Young syndrome, which sadly killed Sean's promising career.
The other 3 segments are fairly tiresome and lack the panache of doing repeated double takes at how similar the physiognomy of Adriana and Jade is. A big deal is made of anal sex (lesbian style) in Kewpie doll beauty Samantha Rone getting serviced by older and bustier Holly Heart, but like the team's various Carter Cruise vehicles, this is pretty lame. The big breasts come out to play in "Nurse Mom" in which Jelena Jensen is rather prematurely advanced to MILF (and old age) as Alex Chance's mom, and when they aren't boring us with a mutual admiration society for each other's racks, they hump with customary aplomb. For the record, Jelena is 8 years older than Alex.
The great man himself (or so I deduced) "Stills by Alan" seems to be taking a shot at acting, playing Kendra Lust's husband in a farcical skit titled "Almost Caught". Had this been an above-ground (not porn) project, the perpetrators would be embarrassed, but with an anything goes attitude we have Lust and step-daughter Ariana Marie having sex right in front of the daddy, using such corny ploys as Marie scurrying under the table to service her mom. This is not incest baiting but rather an insult to a long tradition of broad comedy that goes back centuries and is put back decades by Alan's poor direction. Yes, he (as daddy) never catches on to what is going on right in front of him. The audience is assumed to have devolved into sheer idiocy, compared to say the heights of intelligence we displayed back in the heyday of that TV great "Hee Haw".
helpful•10
- lor_
- Feb 16, 2016
Details
- Runtime2 hours 34 minutes
- Color
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