The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (TV Series)

Martin Mull/Jerry Seinfeld/Scot Morris (1984)

Johnny Carson: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : [doing a public service announcement]  Johnny Carson here, to talk about a crime not often discussed in polite society. I'm talking about lumberjacks who use innocent woodland animals as a Frisbee.

  [audience laughs] 

  Johnny Carson : Next time you stroll through a forest and you spot men in plaid shirts tossing a furry creature, turn them in. Contact "Beaver Heavers, Tacoma, Washington."

• Johnny Carson : [doing a public service announcement]  Hi, this is Johnny Carson. It wasn't that long ago that women and minorities were denied the right to vote. Fortunately, that time has passed. But there's still one neglected group in our society that can't legally vote. I'm talking about dead people.

  [Ed and audience laugh] 

  Johnny Carson : If... if you're as concerned as I am about justice and equality, send the names of your dead friends and relatives to... "The Really Silent Majority, Chicago, Illinois."

  [audience applauds] 

  Johnny Carson : Remember, a dead body is a terrible vote to waste.

• Johnny Carson : [on recently hosting the Academy Awards]  That was the longest night I have ever spent. I mean, even the Titanic had the dignity to sink within two hours.