- Himself - Host: New rule: stop criticizing Mick Jagger's ex-wife Jerry Hall for dating Rupert Murdoch. After all, she's already made a grown man cry. Now it's time to make a dead man come.
- [laughter]
- Himself - Host: And finally, new rule: if neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson really believes that somebody with zero governing experience is qualified to be president, he must first let someone with zero medical training operate on his brain.
- [laughter and applause]
- Himself - Host: And given some of the shit that comes out of his mouth, I think someone already has.