The Doll (V) (2017) User Reviews

Wish I could give it a 0

[a-c-c · 1/10 · 11 November 2018]

Any review of this movie above a 1 must be suspect. Either they didn't see it or it's their first movie ever and have no standards to base a good movie on.

The acting is non-existent, the story is incomprehensible, and everyone just plods around the house such that if you watch it at 3x speed it looks like they're moving normally. Incidentally, if you watch it at 3x speed, it's only 27 minutes long which is what the running time should be.

I could not give this a letter grade, instead I'd say "Incomplete", and everyone knows the worst thing you can see on a transcript is an "Incomplete."

When the credits prominently show off that the director has a PhD you know it's going to be a terrible movie

[bachemar · 2/10 · 10 August 2018]

A "horror" movie with almost no scares and actors that can barely even make their enjoyment at making out with attractive women believable. Watched it for "free" with a relative's Amazon Prime and still felt ripped off. At least most low budget horror movies try to make up for it by throwing a couple buckets of blood around, but there is not a ton gore in this movie. And what there is is not terribly well done. The titular "doll" spends most of the movie creepily staring, creepily rocking in a rocking chair or creepily and gently bonking her head against walls, windows, etc. Not exactly what nightmares are made of. At least the various actors/characters are so annoying and unlikeable that you are glad when they're killed off. The plot, of course, is thinner than tissue paper and with no redeeming factors to elevate it in any way. 2 rating for the audacity of the director to actually get people to cough up money to make this turkey. Please don't waste your time.

(And yeah....the director doesn't even go the distance to make the pentagrams correctly)

My Eyes are Bleeding

[olcayozfirat · 1/10 · 23 March 2019]

Acting, scenario, realism and tension zero. It's just a movie made to bring the woman playing the doll role to the fore. It's a pity.

Stupid waste of time

[bakerskate6 · 2 May 2018]

This movie is the worst movie I have ever seen. This movie made no sense. The plot, well there wasn't one. The story was all over the place. every person in that movie was terrible at acting, besides the voodoo doll hahaha. Micphones and filming was also terrible. I'm pretty sure a 10 year old wrote this movie. I wrote a better story when I was 10. Don't watch this!!!!!

Horrible movie...

[paul_haakonsen · 2/10 · 5 June 2019]

This was a laughable movie, hands down. This movie was horrible. Just horrible.

And I actually knew that beforehand sitting down to watch it. I mean, a movie with someone as shallow as Valeria Lukyanova, being made famous for being mentally unbalanced enough to thinking she can be a doll, just doesn't really make for much of a foundation of a solid movie. And then of course, with the likes of Ron Jeremy on the support role list, nah...

Granted, I will say that the idea of the movie was interesting and definitely had some aspects to the storyline that had potential. Lots of untapped potential here actually, because Valeria Lukyanova was about as talented as a glass of still water, and also writer / director Susannah O'Brien just had so little to work with here, by her own hand mind you.

But in a way, I suppose the utter lack of acting talent and the fact that someone can build a career on being unstable enough to thinking one is a doll served the movie in a way. Because the lack of acting skills, emotions, facial expressions, or anything definitely helped to portray Valeria Lukyanova as a golem - a doll of sorts. But it was most definitely also an anchor around the movie, dragging it down, because it quickly became unappealing and downright annoying to look at her fishy-dead expression for prolonged extends of time.

Some of the scenes were actually constructed nicely enough, but were just washed away by a horrible script and even worse acting performances. Mind you, not all were terrible here, I am not generalizing that much. But Lukyanova and Jeremy were just like thorns in your eyes.

I am sure that hardcore fans of Valeria Lukyanova will find some enjoyment in this movie. But come on, let's just face facts, being a fan of hers is admittance to being fascinated with narcissism and being a "fan" of her solely for her outer appearance.

I can't claim to have had any hopes for the 2017 movie "The Doll", so I weren't disappointed. This was a movie that came and went without even as much as a single raised voice or anything. I am rating this movie two out of ten stars, solely because it didn't have that unfathomable low budget movie presentation to it. At least they put some effort into the production value.

1 hr & 21 min of my life I'll never get back.

[tabruss · 1/10 · 10 July 2022]

You know when you read reviews of movies and you're like, "okay, it can't really be THAT bad..."?

Welllll folks, this one is THAT bad. Horrible acting from literally the entire cast. The audio is terrible, there are small noises throughout the entire movie that shouldn't be there (i.e. Microphones rubbing things) the audio is off between different scenes and cast members. The writing is so awful and unbelievable. There are so many plot holes. Jumps and weird gaps in scenes that don't make sense. The makeup and special effects are insanely awful.

You should assume anyone who is rating this movie more than 2 stars is trolling you.

Don't waste your time.

This was the worst crap I seen in 5 years

[draftdubya · 1/10 · 17 May 2018]

This movie is for you if you like birds taking a dump on your ice cream cone.

Pile of excrement...

[demoxpert · 1/10 · 3 July 2020]

That would actually be a compliment for this movie. The cast was absolutely awful, not even one acting class evident in the performances. Script could have been better written by a drunk monkey. The DP should be banned from cameras for life. The plot was more scattered than the contents of a Kleenex. Aside from the eye candy, which did not even include obligatory full frontal nudity, this movie has zero redeeming qualities. Save yourself 80 minutes and go watch snails mate instead.

Don't waste your time

[Horrorsnob · 1/10 · 20 October 2019]

Everything about this movie was terrible. In fact it was so terrible, I can't fathom it having any good reviews. Casting the human barbie, Valeria Luckyanova, as a doll is an interesting concept but the execution just wasn't there.

Visually Intriging

[hi_im_manic · 2/10 · 16 December 2017]

Absolutely do not waste your time on this one. I repeat, you have one life and it will be misspent watching this. There are more holes in the plot than fishnet pantyhose. The "editing" is laughably atrocious, worse than a made for tv streaming film.Ron Jeremy appears as a pimp, says a few lines and is gone within seconds, it"s only a cameo so why is he even mentioned as a lead? I give 2 stars because of Valeria, she did give a convincing performance of something not quite human and was quite creepy. I also love the layout of the home. In the first quarter of the movie there's pornography, females in g-strings bent over and wide and the camera was not shy nor stylish. 15 year old boys will have the scene on auto-replay and might injure themselves. Skip this one.

Eh, wasn't totally horrible

[aleris-47883 · 5/10 · 20 March 2022]

You gotta go into it with the mind set that it's not like most movie styles. It's not perfect of course but not as awful as most of these reviews say. It's clearly a low budget film and everyone has to start somewhere ya know. Get to see some beautiful faces and it's not much gore and that's okay.

A slasher version of weird science

[geeklegionofdoom · 8/10 · 8 December 2017]

A movie that tries something different to the tried and tested slasher genre . A guy tries to cheer his friend up after a nasty break up by hiring a type of what he thinks is a hooker from an online site. When she turns up, she is unnaturally beautiful but seems to be a little on the odd side. The guys put it down to her being Russian , but their maybe darker forces at work. we've all had a nasty break up , so you can understand the motivations of these guys .Overall a fun lower budget slasher movie that asks why do slashers always look like a big burly guy in a mask. What can't it be a pretty girl and how would people react to it. I liked the relationship and dialog between the friends. Valeria doesn't say much but she is perfectly cast as a odd 'working girl' that seems to have something wrong with her under her dead doll like eyes . A bigger body count than i was expecting with some gore shots. Some scenes don't work quite as well and there are a couple of plot holes. On the surface you maybe tempted to write it off and a low budget B- movie. But i appreciate it when film makers try something new with genres that we've seen done many times before . It's worth a watch if you are a fan of indie horror movies , there is enough blood, boobies and Barbies to keep you satisfied

Solid enough if somewhat flawed effort

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 7/10 · 6 January 2018]

After going through a rough break-up, a guy forces his friend to order a mail-order bride from a website in order to make her jealous only to slowly realize the girls' odd behavior is hiding a deadly secret that puts the entire group in danger as they attempt to mend fences.

This here wasn't all that bad of a horror/thriller. Among the qualities it gets right is the atmosphere this creates around who the woman actually is since this mystery runs throughout here. From the utterly blank, porcelain look on her face that offers no expression or changes at all, her behavioral tics of constantly banging her head against windows and sleeping in her clothes stiff as a board and not moving the entire time, there's plenty throughout here to signify that something's not right with her, a fine facet that's explored further here with the theme of the untrustworthiness of the site. Given the few early shots here of the other victims being tied up and tortured by the owner of the site, there's quite an impressive build-up here to what's potentially wrong with her. That comes nicely to a head in the final half here as this not only gives the full reveal of her actions while also managing some solid action here from her stalking the couple in the garage to the series of fine confrontations in the apartment that reveals all forms of near black magic and occult rituals to prolong the fun as well as the great use of black magic for the different rituals that come into play which sets this up for a fine finish. Alongside the fine gory kills and a nice visual aesthetic throughout here, this one did have some good qualities to it that hold it up over it's few flaws. The main issue here is the fact that this one offers so little information about her and her purpose for being there that really makes the first half somewhat dull. This one tends to focus somewhat on the freakiness of her behavior around them which doesn't really offer this one much during this time as there's really not much more than the two coming to terms with her being there and that holds the main part of the film somewhat. That also manages to hold the overall explanation for the girls' purpose being there until the end here which really makes the film seem somewhat confusing as far as what their purpose really is. The last big issue with this one is the rather troubling nature of the two leads which basically makes the film hard to sit through at points. There's almost no reason for the two to be friends as there's little reason to have them be together as they're too opposite to be friends and they have such different tastes that they don't seem like people who would be friends together so they don't have much interest in the first half. Alongside plenty of moments that give away it's low-budget origins, these here are what hold this one back.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Brief Nudity and mild sex scenes.

Terrible

[meljr-92909 · 1/10 · 9 February 2021]

This "movie" was just terrible. Bad acting, bad plot. bad premise. I only watched it to see what Valeria really looked and might as well looked at a pic of her online because she never changed her expression.

Frustratingly bad

[ivychivers4 · 1/10 · 13 May 2022]

Just terrible. This will be no one's favourite movie. I feel bad for the people acting in it.

Don't waste your time even if you're a fan of Valeria or any other person in this, don't do it to yourself. It's not even bad in a good way, it's just bad. Very poor quality in every facet.

Waste of time!

[bdw-13 · 1/10 · 26 May 2022]

The Asylum puts out better swill then this! Don't even bother. The ideas was good but badly implemented. With a more competent writer, director and actors this could have been a compelling film.

Kids don't let this happen to your movie

[johnanthonymazzei · 2/10 · 20 October 2020]

My high rating of 2 stars is due to the cameo by Ron Jeremy. Otherwise there is no redeeming value in this movie. I would like to know who paid for the production of this mess, I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona for sale... I thought this was shlock horror but, it wasn't even that. Seven people are killed, the doll and the Russian scientist leave with a Styrofoam cooler full of organs. Even Frankenstein's monster had motivation and a back-story. Supernatural horror movies have their own mythology that they follow. I.E. werewolves can only be killed by silver bullets', a wooden stake for vampires.... We are never told what the doll is and why she kills. The dialog wouldn't pass muster in a comic book and the mechanics of the film are laughable. 1. Chris is a Tyler Derdin rip-off from "Fight Club. " He's unemployed, has no money, a criminal record and is living with his friend Andy. How is he able to regularly hire multiple hookers and own a Mercedes ? 2. Chris convinces Andy to hire an extended stay hooker to make is girlfriend jealous so she will come back to him. Does that seem plausible ? 3. The Doll / hooker shows up and neither guy has sex with her. That is typically the reason to hire hookers. 4. This happens over a couple of days during which the first two kill take place. These men aren't missed, nobody comes looking for them and the bodies weren't disposed of / hidden they just vanish. 5. Two of the hookers Chris had previously hired show up and decide to make out with each other in the Andy's pool. One says to the other this place has a creepy feeling to it, let's go make out in the back seat of Chris's Mercedes. They enter the garage with no body from the earlier kill. They are blitz attacked by the Doll and killed. This changes the Dolls M.O. from surprise attacks to direct assault. Two hookers vs. one Doll, they didn't fight back, the one that ran couldn't get out of an unlocked garage she had just entered. 6. The door to the attic has a problem in that sometimes it can be opened and other times it cannot. Possessed Chris has to open it with an axe for the final battle. Prior to this Andy's girlfriend, Shannon, was able to enter thru the same door and Chris was able to exit when he went to kill the Doll. 7. The Doll posses Shannon, same as she did to Chris in order to get him to kill Andy and Shannon. Why was Shannon possessed prior to being killed and disemboweled ? Shannon's organs were harvested, which seemed to be the goal of the film. Why were six other people killed ? None of this was explained. Susannah O'Brien you really need to work on your movie making skills.

For a "Living Doll" she is absolutely not convincing as a doll...

[temptedblaze · 2/10 · 29 May 2023]

For such a bad movie there's actually a lot to say about it.

First of all, as others have mentioned, the film is awful.

Now, I am the type that usually rate pretty generously, which I have here, by giving it a two. I find, personally, even bad movies are enjoyable to me. This one just has me puzzled.

First of all, I am completely stunned that this was directed and written by a woman. It's so problematic that it seems impossible that real women were even consulted, let alone in charge of decisions. The only women in the movie are all built and act like adult film stars, which fine, whatever. They're typecast for a reason. The only women in this film are literally all sex workers, and then the main guys girlfriend. You can kinda dismiss that because it's the story, but it's just somehow not even believable. Like the one jerk best friend guy.. he doesn't work and at one point Ron Jeremy even shows up to the house cause he never pays for the sex workers and he wants his money. Yet, somehow he still keeps ordering more sex workers. At one point, he has 2 sex workers over, and they go to have sex with each other in the back of a car (make that one make sense) and The Doll kills them, but like... he doesn't even notice they are missing? Or he forgets he ordered them? Cause the next scene a new sex worker shows up to have sex with him. What was the purpose of the other two that he seemingly lost track of? What??

This movie is full of plot holes like that. Like why did the latter mentioned sex worker go into the attic when she said she was going to the bathroom? She thought it was weird that the ladder was down but for some reason decides to go up there? Who would do that? It makes no sense.

It's like every woman is just fodder to be killed so they don't need to make sense anyway. To be fair, that's pretty standard for slashers, but this is on a whole other level.

A few other people have already mentioned that the sound design is horrendous, but it's so bad that I need to mention it as well. You can hear their mics rubbing on stuff, when people scream you can tell the mic is too cheap to even pick up the sound properly. It isn't mixed or leveled properly. The music is very unnaturally placed and faded (or not faded rather) in and out. It's just a hot mess.

The acting is so bad that it's painful. The jerk friend is the most believable.

Another major point is that there seems to be some Satanic element to the killings? But all that really means is that she draws pentagrams sometimes and has a voodoo doll. There isn't any actual tie-in, it's unbelievable to the point of being comedic, and it's quite frankly, insulting.

And last but not least, the reason we all are even giving this awful movie a chance, Valeria.. the "Living Doll" as she's called so often in the media. I, like most others, chose to watch this film to see what she actually looks like, and honestly, it's very disappointing. She genuinely doesn't look as doll-like as her photographs, so most of the hype we've seen for her "unnatural doll-like look" is actually just photo editing. She's just looks like every other tall Russian chick. It's a shame that she's spent so much time and money and most of her look is just photo editing software. Also, she can't act, even though her role is to be fake and doll-like which is literally her life's work/goal in life. It's just baffling. The whole thing is downright confusing because I am really not sure who this was made for, other than the director maybe wanting to meet Valeria?

Worst Movie Ever!!!!!

[yankforlife-41907 · 1/10 · 15 October 2020]

I've seen plenty movies in my time, and I love horror movies. But this has to be the worst movie I've seen so far. The acting was bad. There were lighting and sound mistakes all over. The story made absolutely no sense. Characters that didn't belong.(That Ron Jeremy scene was the ABSOLUTE WORST!!!) The gore was amateurish at best. You can tell this was made in record time with all the mistakes. I wasted an hour and change watching this. Please don't be me. Vomits

There were hardly any redeeming factors to this movie.

[Loveunderlaw · 4/10 · 20 August 2018]

First of all the "Dr." conjuring up a succubus to wreak havoc & all sorts of death & mayhem in general on people is not how it works. When you call a succubus forth into this reality, there are very strict rules in place to prevent wanton violence. Just like when Rabbis call up a Golem they're not allowed to go hog wild either(yes they are very real).

It could've been a somewhat OK movie were it not for the fact Hollywood is still trying to slander us LHP Pagans every chance they get. I feel like we're in a propaganda war against these Abrahamic zealots even having deeply infiltrated Hollywood, it really needs to stop.

Why not just make her a mad cyborg? Or some other type of violent psycho killer chick like on Deadly Women? There was no reason to even mention the Pentagram in that movie. Lots of people like Richard Ramirez & Manuela Ruda are abhorrent psychopaths that have made the Darkside look bad, with what they did to innocent people, they did that on their own though. They were never one of us, both were just poseurs attacking the weak & innocent because at their core they were cowards.

The most realistic aspect of the movie though was they did show it's possible to survive an attack, just by hiding out & saying nothing(she should've remained under the bed IMO)if you don't know how to fight back. Don't seize up in fear, wait for an opportune moment to get out of there alive.

Sadly just like in reality, all of them ended up dead by then end of the movie. The male characters were a big flop IMO too, they both should've had highly developed senses & felt they were not just dealing with a "weird" chick, but someone evil out to get them. But like so called "modern men" in the Western World they were very out of touch characters, they lost their natural survival instincts.

I tried. I really did

[jhr2012 · 1/10 · 30 May 2022]

I watched this for about 40 minutes. I fell asleep three times.

This is the most boring, stupid crap I've ever tried to watch.

During those 40 minutes nothing happened. Nothing that would tell you the genre of this movie.

I did like the 4 strippers in the hot tub though. I would have traded in the girlfriend for one of them.

Terrifyingly Scary (still have goosebumps from hours ago)

[liamk-79545 · 10/10 · 17 July 2018]

This movie is absolutely scary! I love Valeria Lukyanova as Natasha (a.k.a the Titular character). I literally thought it was a fan made movie but when I saw Valeria Lukyanova as Natasha I was immediately drawn to her character and how she moved like she was supernatural. I've been a fan of her work (as a composer and instructor of astral projection) and her beauty. I never knew she can also act despite having just 2 lines. But my god I still have goosebumps from hours ago more than I did with Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise. This is a frightening movie. Obviously this is a horror movie so there are gonna be deaths and gore but my god I've never been this scared in my entire life. I don't even wanna sleep. Please watch this movie. I really REALLY HOPE this comes on DVD

Pile of crap!!

[hotaru-86075 · 3/10 · 12 November 2020]

The doll is one of the these movies that lacks everything. LITERALLY! Acting is just dreadful, main protagonist have his occasional moments but it's nothing spectacular. Lighting is somehow good, yet the script and kills are made with such effed up quality. The only reason why I continued watching it was to see who The Doll really is. Although there is no explanation whatsoever. The plot is more hinted at than explained.

Don't waste your time! It ain't worth it!

bad acting and action. not suspenseful, thought provoking or mysterious

[Im-SoRRy-ITS-TakEN · 1/10 · 26 September 2020]

The most enjoyable part of this movie is the two guys bickering at each other. it starts off with them ordering an escort and when she shows up shes expressionless and hardly moves, doesn't talk really and looks possessed but thats all fine to them.

lets just throw her in the attic the only the only way they could think of making a creepy vibe. besides the fact she wasn't reacting, eating and was banging her head expressionlessly across the mains bedroom window still didn't ring any bells in their heads and was overplayed.

the movie was slow, alot of pacing around the house trying to create suspense i guess. failed at being suspenseful at all, the whole story of who, how, what is going to happen is obvious from the get go, its all about the situation playing out, which had bad acting, no twists and wasn't even interesting.

i love how shes sewn up all over and takes her time as if no one would find out, two guys ordered an escort, you think they do something, especially to a doll like girl who would not decline. shes kills a few random people out of nowhere before getting to her actually targets, the whole reason she was sent their.

what bother me alot is the way the showed the action, it was like a 1980s movie where they couldn't use special effects so they take the camera out of view when someones stabbed or they show it in a really fake way , even the noise when someone was stabbed was totally off.

the ending made the movie even more meaningless, the guy who initiated all coming in looking out of place congratulating the girl on a good job, no backstory or what they'll do now, not even hints it just ends.

A hilarious cheese fest!

[zombiiapocalypse · 1/10 · 20 February 2020]

The doll with Valeria Lukyanova is a pretty bad movie. No real script that is discernable, trashy actresses and dumb Male actors all cause this movie to be a beautiful disaster. That being said, if you need background noise it's good for that and I think it really showcases Lukyanova's ability at mastering 3 words of the English language.