Galavant (TV Series)

Aw, Hell, the King (2016)

Timothy Omundson: King Richard

Quotes 

• King Richard : If I were still your king, I would force every one of you to join this man's army - not because I was a tyrant and a terrible leader who hosted baby fights, which I now realize is weird and not that entertaining even after the addition of the cobra - but because true love is rare and worth fighting for!

• King Richard : If you're about to bring up looking for an army again, I swear to God I will freak out because I just lost my fucking castle!

  Galavant : Touchy!

• [singing] 

  King Richard : If I were a friendly farmer, wouldn't that be oh so sweet? I'd be planting greens and lots of beans and other things to eat. Then I'd plant some eggs, then a couple pigs, then a yummy chocolate cake... No, that's not right. Besides, any moron can plant a cake.

• King Richard : So they would prefer to decide their fate by majority opinion rather than being ruled by me, whose right to kingship was passed down from ancestors said to be a god and a mermaid. Fools!

• Galavant : Either we need to find your army or I need to go and find another one so I can go and save Isabella.

  King Richard : Oh relax, chisel-chin, you'll get my army. I just have to figure out where they went. And if they took my castle with them.

• King Richard : [singing]  If I were a merry brewer / That would be a grand career / I would pick the grapes and peel the grapes / And stomp them into beer-- Dammit!