Wunschpunsch (TV Series)

By a Hair's Breadth (2001)

Harry Hill: Jacob Scribble

Quotes 

• Jacob Scribble : Ah, you worry to much about your outside. It's what's on the inside that's important.

  [a red bird comes to land on a tree. Jacob finds her attractive and starts making himself look presentable. Maurizio laughs at the situation] 

  Maurizio di Mauro : So I noticed, Don Juan.

• [Jacob holds up a trembling wing for Maurizio to pull a feather] 

  Jacob Scribble : Maurizio?

  Maurizio di Mauro : [annoyed]  What?

  Jacob Scribble : Be gentle.

  Maurizio di Mauro : You have my word.

  [He reaches for the wing. Jacob pulls it away suddenly and runs off] 

  Jacob Scribble : Ow!

  Maurizio di Mauro : I didn't pull it yet!

  Jacob Scribble : So? Can't a guy practice?

• Jacob Scribble : Calm down. It's not so bad.

  Maurizio di Mauro : Not so bad? Not so bad?

  [He walks towards Jacob. We see that he's completely hairless] 

  Maurizio di Mauro : I'll probably be the first cat with sunburn! Geez, I can't believe I let the spell affect animal hair! How could Bubonic do this to me? Me!

  [He begins to sob] 

  Maurizio di Mauro : His beloved Kittykins!

  Jacob Scribble : I'm sure he didn't mean to.

  [He mutters to himself] 

  Jacob Scribble : Geez, you're glad to have feathers...

  [He notices that Moe heard him] 

  Jacob Scribble : I mean, uh, don't go away!

  [He zips off to find something to cover Maurizio's exposed skin] 

• Jacob Scribble : For once I'd like to be on time.

  Maurizio di Mauro : It's okay, Jacob. We'll stop the spell. We've got courage. We've got attitude. We've got... no idea what the spell is.

  Jacob Scribble : Come on, Sherlock. I'm sure we'll find out all too soon.

• Jacob Scribble : I assure you, Maurizio, I've heard Tyrannia talk about hair remover a thousand times. She says it's "so much better than shaving."