Rick and Morty (TV Series)

The Wedding Squanchers (2015)

Chris Parnell: Jerry Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Smith : The trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk.

• Beth Smith : Were you born with your feet in your mouth?

  Jerry Smith : I was transported here against my will in a meatball, alright? So take your attitude to the men's section of K-mart, because you need to cut me some slack... sss.

• [Beth is trying to convince Rick to go to his friend Bird-person's wedding] 

  Beth Smith : Dad, you have a friend that's getting married. That's a big deal.

  Jerry Smith : It's a big deal he has a friend.

  Rick Sanchez : What would you know about friendship, Jerry.

  Courier Flaps : Confirmed: Shipping Jerry.

  [Courier Flaps envelops Jerry and flies off into space with him] 

• Jerry Smith : Squanch this, mofo.

• Jerry Smith : Beth, it's him or me!

• Rick Sanchez : This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid.

  Jerry Smith : Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us about your relationship with this previously unknown galactic government?

  Rick Sanchez : All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don't hate the player, hate the game, son.

  Jerry Smith : How could you be so dishonest with this family?

  Rick Sanchez : Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting and loving like, oh, I don't know, my now dead best friend? Or your daughter, who is BFFs with an intergalactic narc?

  Summer Smith : Hey, Tammy was cool!

  Rick Sanchez : And now we know why.

  Summer Smith : Because of you!

  Rick Sanchez : Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government, and fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will *never* do again!

  Morty Smith : Geez, Rick! You can't say f... "'f' you" to your granddaughter.

  Rick Sanchez : I just did, Morty. Here's dessert. Fuck You.